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Pastelblitz Feb 5
Shame was an ocean I swam across

Shame was the icy cold that froze me

Shame was the tree I never thought I could climb

Shame was the voice I heard whenever I heard him

Shame was the creature that stared at my wasted body in the mirror every morning

Shame was the red branches that reached across my thighs

Shame was the blood that morbidly danced through my sleeves

Shame was what was with me at night

But shame

Is in the past

And now I’m across that ocean

Now it’s warm

Now I’m gazing the mountains on top of that tree

Now it’s silent

Now it’s only me in the morning

Now it’s white scars that branch across

Now I’m healed

And now

Shame

Is gone
Pastelblitz Feb 1
The cold eats away at my flesh and bones
From the outside and inside
As the frigid thoughts of my mind make me gnash at my lip to stay warm
Boiling blood fills my mouth

And fills

And fills

And fills

Until it finally leaks and pools around me

Then it finally cools down
And crystallizes



Oddly

It wasn’t that bad

But

It was awful at the same time

Because at the end
It didn’t keep me warm at all
I’ve started chewing on my lip as a coping skill and honestly it ain’t it
Pastelblitz Jan 29
We were on your bed with bright blue blankets and red printed pillows

Laughing and cuddling in the yellow and orange rays of the sunlight streaming through the curtains

We talked about the pale blue and gray paint strokes of your whale painting and all the items you cared for so deeply on your daring red desk

You giggled at so many things...

On a normal bright and colorful summer day

I leaned in to kiss your forehead

But

As I closed my eyes

The colors got a little dimmer

And I woke up to my alarm in a cold, damp, and dull room

And as my alarm rang, I wondered

Am I truly over you?
Why do I care about you so much still? I miss you, why the **** do I miss you? I hate these emotions I thought I was over you? I want to talk to you? Why do I want to talk to you?
Pastelblitz Jan 16
The stars were the only sparks of the fire which devoured my soul

If those sparks went out, there would be nothing left in the sky but dead stars and my dead eyes
Hence nothing remains but my regrets
Pastelblitz Jan 5
You’ve got a sad love
Deep in your eyes
That kind of deep love
That man cannot find

So baby love me
With all that you can
And I’ll give you
All of my strength

I know you’re broken
But so am I
I know that pain
That lingers inside

That kind of dull pain
That tugs at your heart
And makes you sob at night
With no one around

So baby love me
With all that you have
And I’ll give you
All of my care
I kinda want to make this a song
  Dec 2018 Pastelblitz
Kelsey Rhoads
Loving you is like being on fire
It’s like having a flat but not knowing how to change a tire
It’s like going on a car trip
Not knowing you get car sick
I just wish that you could understand
Maybe, you’re not ready to be my man
Maybe just maybe you’re still in a faze
Locking with other girls gazes
Maybe it’s possible you can’t be loyal
You grabbed my throat and shaped me as if I were foil
Do you even know what you’ve done
No you don’t, because your new life has only just begun
If you understand I’m sorry, stay strong friend.
Pastelblitz Dec 2018
“I feel like if you cut me open everything would be rotten”
I haven’t felt like this is a long time. I wish you told me what I did wrong. I feel so useless and unworthy.
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