Shame was an ocean I swam across
Shame was the icy cold that froze me Shame was the tree I never thought I could climb Shame was the voice I heard whenever I heard him Shame was the creature that stared at my wasted body in the mirror every morning Shame was the red branches that reached across my thighs Shame was the blood that morbidly danced through my sleeves Shame was what was with me at night But shame Is in the past And now I’m across that ocean Now it’s warm Now I’m gazing the mountains on top of that tree Now it’s silent Now it’s only me in the morning Now it’s white scars that branch across Now I’m healed And now Shame Is gone
The cold eats away at my flesh and bones
From the outside and inside As the frigid thoughts of my mind make me gnash at my lip to stay warm Boiling blood fills my mouth And fills And fills And fills Until it finally leaks and pools around me Then it finally cools down And crystallizes Oddly It wasn’t that bad But It was awful at the same time Because at the end It didn’t keep me warm at all
I’ve started chewing on my lip as a coping skill and honestly it ain’t it
We were on your bed with bright blue blankets and red printed pillows
Laughing and cuddling in the yellow and orange rays of the sunlight streaming through the curtains We talked about the pale blue and gray paint strokes of your whale painting and all the items you cared for so deeply on your daring red desk You giggled at so many things... On a normal bright and colorful summer day I leaned in to kiss your forehead But As I closed my eyes The colors got a little dimmer And I woke up to my alarm in a cold, damp, and dull room And as my alarm rang, I wondered Am I truly over you?
Why do I care about you so much still? I miss you, why the **** do I miss you? I hate these emotions I thought I was over you? I want to talk to you? Why do I want to talk to you?
The stars were the only sparks of the fire which devoured my soul
If those sparks went out, there would be nothing left in the sky but dead stars and my dead eyes
Hence nothing remains but my regrets
You’ve got a sad love
Deep in your eyes That kind of deep love That man cannot find So baby love me With all that you can And I’ll give you All of my strength I know you’re broken But so am I I know that pain That lingers inside That kind of dull pain That tugs at your heart And makes you sob at night With no one around So baby love me With all that you have And I’ll give you All of my care
I kinda want to make this a song
Loving you is like being on fire
It’s like having a flat but not knowing how to change a tire It’s like going on a car trip Not knowing you get car sick I just wish that you could understand Maybe, you’re not ready to be my man Maybe just maybe you’re still in a faze Locking with other girls gazes Maybe it’s possible you can’t be loyal You grabbed my throat and shaped me as if I were foil Do you even know what you’ve done No you don’t, because your new life has only just begun
If you understand I’m sorry, stay strong friend.
“I feel like if you cut me open everything would be rotten”
I haven’t felt like this is a long time. I wish you told me what I did wrong. I feel so useless and unworthy.