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Ann Terrin Dec 2021
Tick, tick, tick away all the minutes go
Waiting on calls
Hoping for hellos

Sneaking away
Running errands, you say
Later and later wishing you’d stay

Holidays, birthdays, milestones pass by
Wishing you were next to me
Trying not to cry

Head up
Shoulders back for there is no one other than you
Except for your wife, who isn’t number two
Ann Terrin Dec 2021
Widowed
Alone
Truly on my own  

Exhausted
Worn down
Older
Colder
Locked behind my door

Reflecting
Dissecting
Longing for my sense of home
Ultimately knowing we all die alone

Still buried above
Now buried below
Struggling daily to finally let go

Haunting my sleep
Taking parts of my soul
Leaving only enough to fail short of my goal

Hang tight
No fight
Our ugliness binds my mind
Your inflated ability not yet my behind

I reach for the quiet
The climb elusive and steep
Craving sedation to help with my weak

Compliant Sub to her Dom
Allowing to be strung along
Filling my hopes with all the right wrongs

I seek out your shame
Our familiar the same
Still married
Complacent
Again used as your cane

I love and support
We connect and transcend
You relent
I bend
We’re now steeped so far within

Farewells in cabs
Pleasurable orals in lots
Always a place where you could never be caught

A well earned tattoo on my face
The Scarlet Letter of disgrace
As I boldly and willingly encroach in her space

My pain loves your company
Our broken halves make our beautiful whole
The hole our whole digs buries innocent souls

Selfish and absorbed
Unresolved and bold
We deserve the worst of what society unfolds  

The branding
Expanding
The names and the hurts
We deserve one another
Until we too meet our dirt
Ann Terrin Dec 2021
To the woman I am today
What would I say to you
Would you listen anyway

I would say
To never fear the failures
Failures are lessons in disguise
Look hard enough for the teachings that are meant to open your eyes

I would say
To give with all your heart
What matters, dear self, is choosing to begin
Choosing to take your start
Finding the courage from within

I would say
Breath in life fully
Breath with confidence
Breath with peace
Find your small place in the world  
To love fully and with ease

I would say
Use your words to elevate others
Use your words to be kind
Use your words gently even when others willingly cross the line  

I would say
Your children are watching
They soak you in like a sponge
Be the best you always
Make your children your number one

I would say
Fear no man
Fear no woman
Fear no judgment of others
And fear no pain
For these evils are all around you
And often call themselves brother

I would say
Fear only the All Mighty
For our souls he died
Blessedly giving us a fresh start
Always beside us when we cry

I would say
Be kind to yourself, dear older me
Lead life by the example God meant you to be

I would say
Believe truly in yourself
And trust that feeling with all your heart
Commit your soul to God
And may you never fall apart
Ann Terrin Nov 2021
Line by line
Hook by hook
Every cast you threw out I fell for the look

Yet you’re still tethered and netted to the fake appearance of “all”
You would call me to cry
But really, you only called me to stall

Red lips
High heels
Paramour lingerie
I did all the hot things your wife could never dare say

I believed you would leave her
We planned and you chattered
If I listened much closer I would have heard ...
“you truly don’t matter”

On my own once again
Steeped in deep sadness and despair
Gasping and gasping
I keep gasping for air
Ann Terrin Nov 2021
Tormented love is a ****** muse.
Ann Terrin Sep 2021
push and pull
old and new
his abuse almost killed me
but it brought me to you

unyielding demands served to kept me in line
to kept me afraid
consumed precious time

quietly together we buried our past
unwillingly yet willingly
we completed our tasks

shoulder to shoulder
in front and behind
we leaned on each other as we walked the same line

now free and wide open
gently cradling my neck
slowly entering within me
deliberate
wet

your beautiful eyes
so gentle
so kind
you heal me through trust
the trust that endures all of time

as we slide and we slide
slowly deep
deep inside
I relent in these moments with nowhere to hide

the walls I held high kept him out for so long
just seconds in our space
all those walls were now gone

exposed and afraid I cover my eyes
gently cradling my neck
you are quiet
you are kind

inside me
beside me
the dearest friend, I adore

my lover
my partner
my forevermore
Ann Terrin Mar 2021
the fork in your tongue
is old
not young
forged in venom
and not by sun
not of this plain
pleasured by pain
pleasured by blood
caused by your stain
you slither and slide
seethe and hide
propped up by your maker's nonsensical pride
hatred injected by you in our sons
following her footsteps of all that's become
your cancer will **** you
it's certain
it's true
your demise is cemented by the evil in you
have you asked for forgiveness
no, never
not once
I hope in your end
you face God’s vengeful punch
Marital Lessons
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