Sometimes I choke back tears
Sometimes I hinder in doorways
Sometimes I'm just numb
But I'm always throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I feel like nothing at all
Sometimes I use the scissors
Sometimes I OD
Then I'm throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I think it's all okay
Sometimes I smile again
Sometimes it's not worth it
So I'm throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever wake
Sometimes I wonder if I want to
Sometimes my dreams are everything
I'm just throwing up anti depressants

night stroll through downtown

soft breezes interrupt thoughts

as the wind tries its best to sound

its own story of why it's caught

and the only thing
that is keeping me alive
is the dumb thoughts
that I can ramble together
to create a
"beautiful piece of writing"
when there is nothing
beautiful about
wanting to **** yourself