I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
for those heart broken nights I kept a secret
 I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
For when we had to stretch a dollar and I acted like I was full, but I really wasn't
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you mama
That during those times that you locked yourself in your room and the cried acting like I didn't know, I already did
 I'm wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
For not being the girl that you wish I was to be
 I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because my heart has been broken so many times and I won't dare tell you
 I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because the biggest secret I have kept is one that is hardest to speak
 I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
 for those nights that I locked myself in the room and cried silently so you wouldn't know
 I wanted to say I'm sorry to your Mama
Because you do not know the reason why those tears rolled down my face
 I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because you will not know that shadow of my past haunts me at night
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
 That my ankles are chained to a wall of self-doubt and regret
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because you don't know a man's words is what made me like that
 I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because I have no idea how to say all of that

WHY should I tell you I love you
   when the moment I close my eyes thinking that I am safe you crept up and left me
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when the only thing that is certain in my life you want me to turn around and backtrack into uncertainty
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when you don't even realize all the pain that you've put me through
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when the past of my life is a shadow of a man beating me down with words
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when the stretch marks on my skin are proof that I have done everything that I've can just to hear you say I am pretty and then not believe it
WHY should I tell you I love you
   with all these tears creeping down on my face and you act like they're not there
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when I have given you my bones and every fiber of my being and you responded with thats it?
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when I wrote out my heart on this wholesome message that you acted like i didn't even write it
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when you cant even say it back
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when the moment that you said you do, you put distance on us like I am all the way across the world
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when you question every thought in my mind
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when I'm doubting everything you gave me
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when you say the things I do are not fair
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when you left me for someone else and never looked back
WHY should I tell you I love you
   that the moment you did, you thought that was enough
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when you don't even know how to apologize to me
WHY should I tell you I love you
   when you take back every word you've said
WHY should I tell you I love you
    When that is not all you did

It might be cliche to say this but
Christianity saved me
I almost died and had a man watch me
Girl met boy and fell in love
Love is blind
Yes we get it
But this man loved me so much with a knife
Cut my wrists open and let me bleed
Slowly did the blood come out and drip
It was my sacrifice
I loved him so ride or die right?
I will die for him
Then made the cut deeper every once in awhile
Let me bleed even faster
Put me in the shower and start to run the water
My smile turned weak
My face became pale
But I loved this man
So i painted a perfect mask
Plaster it on my face
And it was so perfect he believed
He believed he was saving me
Saving the world from me
Loving me better than any
Was he sick or was I?
Letting me bleed right there to death
Then my mask starts crack
My voice leaks out
I am close to death
If I will die, I shall die alone
Be it my own destruction
Not one of a man
Kick him out close the door
Go to the comfort of the blood soaked shower and sit
Grab the vines from roses and a stitching needle
Sow my self up filled more with pain
Put on a sweater and act like they are not there
Remake my mask so perfect I believed it
Go out Smile
See people smile
Love life smile
Yes my mask is smiling
But his shadow never left me
Painfully rip off my mask
Proves he owns me
Drag me into the shower
Memories there still haunt me
Grab a scissors and starts cutting
Bleed more once again
I can't breath or speak
The shadow is choking me!
Tears roll down and im thinking this is the death of me
Then my lord came in
Defeated his shadow and took possession of me
So I may be cliche to say this
But Christianity saved me
He took me and stitched me perfectly with the right thread and helped me
I am not afraid of my scars
So when I say Christianity saved me
I don't mean he made me live my life right
He didn't take me from drugs and alcohol
When I say Christianity saved me
I mean he took me from living a dead life to I'm alive
When I say Christianity saved me
I mean he saved me from wanting to beat that shadow and run into that shower for real
Not figuratively but real
Made my life worth living
My death mean nothing
So it may be cliche to say this but my Lord God saved me