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I don't have blood in my veins,
but I have this steady, snapping beat,
I don't have a boy on my brain
but this chorus constantly on repeat.
because life just brings me pain,
and when the world becomes
just one big game,
music is the only thing
that understands me
5d · 48
Two Tragedies
Holding you,
having my secrets,
two trajedies I both love and hate.
I can have both,
but at what price?
I could love you,
but would I lose it all?
My mind only thinks in the moment,
impossibly impulsive,
head so far in the clouds
I'm afraid I'll never get out.
All I know Is that when I'm with you
I feel safe and sound,
and now I can't ever remember
a time where I wouldn't want you around,
so I'm going to continue to hold onto this
and pray to God I won't ruin it .
May 18 · 51
Love Conquers All
Sarah Spencer May 18
I want our shadows
to dance to a silent melody,
I want our love
to fly us to the moon,
I want our love to
defy destiny,
because I want to have
my cake and eat it too.
A poem built on cliches XD The first two lines have been sitting in my drafts for the last year bc I didn't know what to do with it. Now I do<3
May 18 · 42
I Miss You
Sarah Spencer May 18
I miss you
and I hope you miss me too,
because when I think of you
I don't feel so blue.
I don't have anything better to do
than sit and reminisce you,
so right now, I'll power through,
so later I can tell you how much I love you:)
Sarah Spencer May 17
I made a deal with the devil today
Hell, I even shook his hand,
and though I knew it wasn't my time to stay,
I told him thank you for everything he did,
as I left his barren land
and followed a life of sin,
never looking back to Him,
because even though I knew better,
the sin felt so much better.
May 16 · 114
Guilt
Sarah Spencer May 16
This guilt has wormed its way deep,
digging it's way inside of me,
making me feel empty,
and lost,
and unhappy.
I want so badly to reach
for that place deep inside of me
and rip it out,
cut it down
before it can grow bigger,
and thicker,
and way out of control,
but If I've learned anything it's that
lies make people stay
and the truth pushes them away...
May 13 · 49
Getting My Hopes Up
Sarah Spencer May 13
A notebook full of fantasies,
filled to the brim with words
I've always been too afraid to say out loud.
Love letters never sent,
memories never spent,
because the love never existed
in the first place,
you've only ever been an idea
that I've meticulously made up
inside my mind.
The perfect person doesn't exist
and I know I'm still a kid,
but when I look at you, I wonder,
Are you my perfect person?
Or am i just getting my hopes up again?
May 11 · 67
Fairy Tales
Sarah Spencer May 11
Today is the day.
Exactly one year ago,
there was you and me
spread out on the bed sheets.
We laid out our bodies for each other on easels
and you were my work of art,
all smiles and 'I love yous' and promises of forever
as I gave myself to you
and you gave yourself to me
on those rumpled sheets,
a perfect tale of young teens.
Now, no matter how much I will myself,
I can't recall that day without crying
because I know that day lead to the last few good days
I had before our chapter ended,
before you closed the book
on a perfectly good story
and left me with nothing
but a trail of empty pages
to pick up by myself.
Sometimes I wish
I wasn't such a sucker for fairy tales...
April 28th
May 11 · 75
Thin and Frail
Sarah Spencer May 11
Thin and frail,
worn and tired.
When will this end?
When will I finally look in the mirror
and see someone worth loving?
someone whose worth holding the breath in their lungs
and the food in their stomach,
someone who deserves the same amount
of tender attention I dump on others everyday.
I'm afraid that day will never come
because I'm still stuck in this mindset,
falling in and out of this vicious cycle,
fading in and out of existence,
and because all I'll ever see when I look in the mirror
is a monster whose
thin and frail and
worn and tired.
Sarah Spencer May 11
My heart doesn't beat,
It ticks,
like one of those old grandfather clocks
you see in movies
about to strike out.
Midnight turns to morning
and only time will tell
what plans fate has with us,
and whether she'll be cruel or kind
I'll never know till the very end,
but at least I know
that right now,
right here, in this moment with you,
I don't regret a single second.
May 10 · 166
Leave Me Alone
Sarah Spencer May 10
I have a fire in my throat
and angry, tired eyes.
I've seen a thing or two
I've flown as far as the moon,
and these experiences,
these burdens,
have aged me far beyond my years.
I no longer feel fear
or happiness or sadness,
all that's left is this madness
that I just can't seem to shake.
So leave me alone before I break,
because I have a fire in my throat
and angry tired eyes
that aren't afraid
to watch you die:)
Sarah Spencer Apr 27
Is it normal to be this sad?
Will I ever see past today?
because I can't remember
a day I haven't felt this way...
Apr 27 · 65
Pressure
Sarah Spencer Apr 27
There's this pressure in my lungs
that keeps building and building,
making it harder to breathe,
so hard that I'm afraid my lungs
are going to burst like a balloon,
because it never gets better,
because you never stop pushing me.
I'm on the edge of a cliff about to fall,
yet you think you know what's best for me,
I'm getting tired of it all.
Maybe I should jump
before you push me too far,
because I'll never meet your expectations
when all you do is raise the bar,
because all you want is more and more,
and this pressure keeps on building and building,
making it harder to breathe.
Apr 23 · 76
Humanity
Sarah Spencer Apr 23
This is a poem
for every breathing soul,
for those who have been beaten down,
for those whose names have been taken away.
This is a poem
for those who scream but are not heard,
for those who are treated like dirt,
for those who just want to belong.
This is a poem
for the broken hearted,
for those who wake up in an empty bed,
for those who have made mistakes.
Yes, this is a poem
for every breathing soul,
for everyone who has ever felt anything,
for humanity as a whole.
Apr 22 · 79
The Day of Silence
Sarah Spencer Apr 22
My voice was stolen today
from those who suppress me,
who cut me down
and treat me like I'm a ghost
when in reality I'm
the only one who realizes
that the world is changing
and I shouldn't be afraid
to change along with it,
that it's okay to be different,
that love is love
and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
So for everyone whose voice was stolen today,
join with me in creating a new world
where we can all be equally unique<3
Most of you guys won't understand this poem, but The Day of Silence is a real day. Google it. I dare you<3
Sarah Spencer Apr 21
When I walk into a room
I always scan the sea before me,
helplessly hoping that
one of them is you.
Sometimes I see someone with your brown hair
or twinkling, turquoise eyes
and your name leaps off my tongue
like a freestyle diver,
only to leave me feeling lonely
because they're just another person
who isn't you.
Apr 20 · 226
She Was the Melody
Sarah Spencer Apr 20
She was the melody,
the song my heart
has always been searching for,
the beat that could always make me
stand up and dance,
and just like the song
I can't get stuck out of my head,
I will never forget you,
even after the last chord strikes
and my head hangs heavy.
Apr 19 · 121
Watching the World Go By
Sarah Spencer Apr 19
Watching the world go by
with tears in my eyes,
oh, how fast time flies
when you're sitting on the sidelines.
Lately I haven't been living at all,
and though I may seem small
in the world's grand view,
I'm only being put down by you,
the one who puts me in chains,
the only one to blame,
you think this is all a game
when all I've ever wanted was my own name.
No, I'll never be ashamed
to not want to be cut down by the knife,
it should be my God-given right
to live my own life!
Haven't written in a while.
Sarah Spencer Apr 14
She plays with her food,
pushing it around on the plate,
watching the vegetables roll
and the chicken broth drip,
the aroma is mouthwatering.
She tries not to make eye contact with her food
so not to think of the tender juiciness
the chicken would bring,
soon to explode on her tongue,
the crisp crunch the vegetables
will make when they touch her teeth.
She can feel the hunger growing inside her,
an angry beast trying to claw its way out
that she's suppressed for far too long.
She wonders if eating is worth the risk
as she looks down and observes each
part of her frame that isn't ramrod straight,
remembering that she'll never be good enough for anyone,
not even herself.
Dropping her fork as if it were a worm,
she tried not to give eye contact
to the dismantled family sitting at the dismantled table.
"May I be excused?"
I feel like it was easier to right a poem on this topic about myself in the third person...idk if you guys will understand what I'm talking about here
Sarah Spencer Apr 13
You are beautiful
even when you don't feel it,
every time you smile,

So hold your chin high,
you deserve each breath you take,
you deserve the world.
Apr 13 · 56
Three Words
Sarah Spencer Apr 13
There are only three words
that I feel like saying right now,
three words
that I've thought about over and over again
as I lay awake in bed,
three words
that soar like a bird
wild and free and full of fresh breath,
three words
that I want to shout till my voice
becomes so sore I can't speak
three words
that I hope you feel like saying back
but have just been too afraid to,
three words
I. love. you.
Sarah Spencer Apr 13
This world feels too small
even though there are seven continents
and five, frothing oceans,
maybe I just feel small
because people today don't touch
each other's hearts the way they used to,
instead, we go through every social setting
without so much as sharing a smile with another,
we no longer lift each other up
when we feel sad or lonely or small,
we just sit and stare down at our phones,
no, that's not loving at all,
that's just lonely,
and that's the last thing I want to be.
Apr 11 · 103
Dream Girl
Sarah Spencer Apr 11
You tell me of your dream girl,
and every time you do  
there's this tiny voice in the back of my head,
ignoring the angel on my shoulder,
whispering,
What if that girl was me?
Could I make you happy?
...
Apr 11 · 77
Amber Colored Bubbles
Sarah Spencer Apr 11
Amber colored bubbles
rising within me,
I can hear each one
coming to the surface,
then popping.
Amber colored bubbles
fizzing up
like strawberry soda,
making me feel all tingly
from my fingers to my toes.
Amber colored bubbles
slicing through the dark,
beaming as bright
as the smile
you placed upon my lips.
I'm gonna pretend like this poem doesn't sound totally weird XD
Apr 10 · 514
I Can't Take It
Sarah Spencer Apr 10
I'm one step from falling,
one push from breaking,
one tear from bawling,
and I don't think I can take it.
Apr 10 · 63
Bipolar
Sarah Spencer Apr 10
Being on top of the world one moment
and hitting rock bottom the next
is one of the worst feelings in the world,
like life is just one huge ferris wheel
that never stops.
up, down
even after you've run out of tickets
up, down
even after your skin turns stark white
from motion sickness.
The cycle will continue
until you choose to take control of you
up, down
What are you going to do?
love yourself. stay positive. it's okay to have a mental illness. just don't be your mental illness. you mean so much more<3
Apr 8 · 56
Rupi Kaur
some people think
writing a sentence
and hitting enter
a hundred times
is poetry

but poetry is
that on-the-edge-of -your-seat rollercoaster ride
that only goes up,
that ending ******* all pretty with a bow,
that washes you with a wave of emotions,
the crumple of paper and the smell of ink
that hits your nose as you sit on your bed,
dreaming so hard you can see the stars in your eyes.
No, poetry doesn't just scratch the surface,
with simple, shallow words,
poetry makes you feel emotions
you didn't' know existed.
I don't know if you guys will understand the poet I am referencing, but if you don't, that's okay. This poem can stand alone by itself
Apr 8 · 89
Sorry
I'm sorry
I couldn't be like her,
I'm sorry
I couldn't be the daughter you wanted,
I'm sorry
I don't share your beliefs,
or dreams,
or perspective,
but most of all,
you should feel sorry for yourself.
Strangers on the the street,
just you, just me,
no longer us.
No longer two people holding hands,
who walked with the same gait,
but two people who are too scared
to even give the other eye contact
as they brush shoulders
on the way to their new lives.
But even though I can't will myself
to look you in the eye anymore,
I will always remember those four years
where I would smile at just the mere sight of you
and you would smile back,
where I would fantasize about our future together
as I spilled my heart out on the pages.
No, I will never forget,
but you did,
throwing those memories out on the curb
to be hauled away on trash day,
erasing me out of your life,
like I had never been there to begin with.
Time has sprinted by,
and I've moved on with someone new,
but I know my heart will never forget you,
and when her and I walk with the same gait
and just so happen to pass you by,
I will always want to look up,
because, deep down, I wish we were more
than just strangers on the street.
This poem hurt to write...
Apr 6 · 48
Center of My Universe
The phrase "love of my life"
doesn't even come close to my love for you.

You're the center of my universe,
the gravity that holds everything together.
Without you all of the planets would crash into each other,
the moon would no longer control the tides,
the sun would never shine again.

I would fall apart at the seams without you,
you're more than just the "love of my life."

You are my everything.
Apr 6 · 50
Love of My Life
She's the sweetest little girl I swear,
the girl with the halo of hair.

Her eyes might be an icy blue,
but deep inside there lies a different hue,
one that's brighter than the sun's rays,
that blooms far wilder than the flowers of May.

Yes, she may be beautiful,
but she's also the girl who pulls
on my heartstrings when she holds me close,
who doesn't make me feel like a ghost,
whose smile brightens up my day,
who doesn't judge the things I do or say.

I knew the second I saw her she was the one for me,
the one who will always make me happy
and though she's a girl, she's the love of my life,
who I hope will one day become my wife.
Yeah I know this poem is cheesy. Deal with it:P
If these walls could talk,
oh, the things I'd say,
I'd tell them of the past few days,
about these feelings that won't go away.

If these walls could talk,
I'd probably end up crying
from always lying,
from all the feelings I've been denying.

But these walls will never talk
and neither will you,
because you were the one who withdrew.
If only you knew
how lonely I've been without you...
I've always been able to admire
those girls that can go about their day
without caking concealer on their face,
those girls that wake up in the morning
and look in the mirror
and smile at each of their imperfections
as if they were beauty marks.
And when I see that same girl
walking down the street,
I can't help but smile,
because that girl decided
to block out the screams of society
and love herself despite her flaws.
That, to me, is the most beautiful thing.
Apr 3 · 59
When I Die
When I die
I don't want to be buried.
Set my physical body ablaze
the same way my soul
will be burning in hell,
carry me to the top
of the highest cliff overlooking the ocean
so I can see the breeze ruffling
the fabric of your sunshine dress.
And then you'll sit beside me one last time
and whisper you're deepest darkest secrets,
your fears, your dreams,
because you know I no longer have a mouth
to tell anyone these things.
Tell me of the places we never went,
the sights we'd never see,
those memories so bittersweet,
and finally, when the sun sets
and the time feels right,
pop open my lid,
set me free,
watch me fly
the same way I flew off that bridge
some summer nights ago
when the wind was in my head.
I'll relay my regrets
as I fall towards the frothing waves
and the gaping jaws of the rocks below,
the black, murky depths
and the hands of Satan
reaching out to greet me,
the dying light of your sunshine dress
the last thing that I see.
Apr 3 · 51
Let You Down
I'm afraid of letting you down,
my voice is sore, my hands are shaking
and my thoughts are screaming  way too loud.
I've tried so hard, I tried my best
and now I'm being put to the test.
Hours of practice just to make you proud,
but what if I let you down?
Apr 2 · 68
Dog-Eat-Dog World
I drag through every day
with invisible cement blocks
strapped to my feet.
I let nobody in,
nobody sees,
nobody knows my struggle
except for me.
I've kept up a smile
through these tears for years
because I know
the world won't stop revolving
just because I'm depressed.
It keeps on spinning  
through suicide attempts every second
and climate change,
and world wars.
No, the world won't stop revolving for anybody,
it's every man for himself
in this dog-eat-dog world.
Apr 2 · 91
Friend
My heart leapt to touch yours
when you looked at me with those eyes ,
with understanding,
and though we just met,
and I don't know you just yet,
I feel like I've made a friend.
Mar 29 · 275
I Crush Spiders
Sarah Spencer Mar 29
I crush spiders
Instead of taking them outside.
If they break into my house,
then they deserve to die :)
random stanza that's been in my drafts for too long XD
Sarah Spencer Mar 29
I can't wait to be older,
I can't wait for my skin to wrinkle,
to have lines etched into my face
like an old tree who's seen too many seasons,
proof to anyone who lays their eyes on me
that I lived a life of laughter,
and genuine smiles that make
my eyes constantly crinkle around the edges.
I can't wait to gain all the weight
after having kids who will have their own kids
who will extend the limbs of my family tree
and be there to one day take care of me
the same as I did for them,
no, I can't wait to be older
and live a life of love.
Mar 15 · 73
A Slave to Freedom
Sarah Spencer Mar 15
Freedom is such a beautiful thing
that makes you feel weightless,
like you're on top of the world,
like you can control the constellations.
And why can we feel freedom?
Because you can't have light without darkness
or happiness without sadness,
we all know what it's like
to be chained down,
a slave to society,
to the cards we've been dealt if life.
Lately I've been stuck in a cell
screaming to be free,
fiending to feel weightless again,
willing to do anything to take off these chains,
because deep down I will always be
a slave to freedom.
Mar 15 · 64
Free
Sarah Spencer Mar 15
My heart swelled like the sea
on that night when you told me.
I remember it so vividly,
your voice was so lovely,
on that night you set my soul free
should I try to make my poems longer? I feel like they're kind of short a lot of the time
Mar 14 · 63
Moon
Sarah Spencer Mar 14
We'll see the same moon
when you watch from your window.
Sit and remember me,
soak in our memories
till you taste those tears so bittersweet.
But do not stay sad,
instead stretch a smile
and be happy that I was your's
and you were mine,
even if it was only for a short time,
if we share the same moon
we'll both be fine.
I will find my way back to you,
when the sun sets
it doesn't go away forever,
but comes back just as beautiful as before
as a blazing sunrise.
So for now look to the moon,
I will be back soon,
I will find my way back to you.
I promise.
I will be giving this poem to someone special, so any criticism, even if it's harsh, is welcome and will be appreciated.
Mar 14 · 116
Not A Goodbye
Sarah Spencer Mar 14
I'll place a whisper of a kiss
on your pale lips,
even though this isn't a goodbye,
though you've run out of time,
because you'll forever be alive
and breathing inside my memory.
Mar 14 · 1.5k
I'll Be the Sun
Sarah Spencer Mar 14
If you seek me, I will always hide,
if you chase, me I will always run,
if you hit me, I will always fight,
if you turn out the light, I'll be the sun
you'll never get to me
Mar 12 · 73
Rapunzel
Sarah Spencer Mar 12
Whenever I sit and ponder upon my life
I can always count on fairy tales,
on princesses.
But no, I'm not talking about all the
glitz and glamour and happy endings
most people imagine,
I think of the little things,
of how jealous I am of Cinderella.
And no, I could care less
about her prince or fairy godmother,
all I care about is the ball,
of how Cinderella got it all.
Cinderella at least got
to stay out till midnight,
when my ball came around,
when prom came around,
I was never even allowed to attend,
I never get the chance
to see the twinkling lights
or the dresses long enough to trip over,
I'd never dance till my legs turned to jelly,
or walk in with the love of my life,
no, I'd never even be there long enough
to drop my glass slipper.
I will never have till midnight,
all I'll ever have are four walls to stare at
under the surveillance of my strict parents,
I'll never be a Cinderella,
I'll only ever be a Rapunzel,
locked up in a tower,
waiting on a prince to save me
that will never come.
Don't know if this poem is trash. This poem is just me. I guess it's up to you to decide that for yourself.
Mar 10 · 61
Lone Wolf
Sarah Spencer Mar 10
There are plenty of people
who push others away,
who say that
they're fine being a lone wolf,
but even wolves in the wild
who leave their pack
go off to find a mate
and sow the seeds
to start their own family,
they still surround
themselves with others.
Lone wolves don't actually exist,
only the idea of it,
so if wolves need others
in order to survive,
then why don't people?
"It's the little battles that win the war,"
I repeat over and over again
even as my war paint wears off,
as I'm fighting an uphill battle.
I know I can't give up
because surrendering means
sacrificing my humanity,
everything I've been fighting for.
I won't be the daughter
you want me to be,
I will break free,
I will be me.
"It's the little battles that win the war."
It's time for The Day and The Night
to finally fight
for their spot in the sky.
One will have to say goodbye
because their's not enough room
for them both to loom.

The Day wants the people to dance
all day and to prance
through their lives with unwavering smiles
that stretch for miles,
for them to take control of their lives
and squash the strife that follows life,
while The Night wants to spread good dreams
that won't fall apart at the seams,
because waking brings reality
and a feeling of mortality
that lies in the eye bags of the world
and haunts each boy and girl.

They both believe that they're too different,
that they are incapable of seeing the magnificence
in the other that the world sees in them both each day,
because the truth, deep down, makes them afraid.
And though their their similarities may seem far,
the sun is also a star.
Mar 8 · 75
Lullaby
Her lips on mine,
can't help but fantasize.
Imagining her angel eyes,
whether they're real or just a disguise,
keeps my head in the skies
and tucks me in tight,
a loving lullaby
that sings me to sleep each night.
A poem about my gf <3 here's to almost 1 year
Mar 7 · 61
All Hope Is Gone
My time is up,
the flame's burned out
and there's no wick left
to start it back up.
All hope is gone.
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