This is the beginning of something new...
This something between me and you...
Never had these feelings before...
This something, I just can't ignore...

I've never been here before.

Mom told me once, that if you are very lucky...
someday someone will come along...
that will make you pause...
your head will turn and your body gets warm...
your mind wonders to a place...

Never been here before.

Some people wait a lifetime for it...
to happen but, it never does...
So they settle just because...
being alone is a scary thing...
so they take whatever comes along...
whatever life brings...
And, there are others that it has happened to...
but, let it go, thinking there was greener grass...
then spend their lifetime kicking themselves
in the ***...
So she said "If it ever happens to you,
don't go looking for a better view.
Don't let it pass you by, don't ignore it either.
It could become so beautiful,
it makes you warm thru and thru,
like your coming down with a special kind of fever.
And once you have them..
you'll never want to leave her.
You will know you've found your soul mate,
of that there will be no debate..."

So I'm listening to my Mom's advice..
without having to think twice...
Cause the first time I noticed you...
my head turned, my body got warm...
feelings I've never had came over me like a swarm...

I've never been here before.

But, I know I want to stay...
Cause since I met you..
I know I'm always going to feel this way.

I'm sitting here alone again...
thinking of you..
This wine not working as it used to..
not as numbing as it used to be...
Trying to keep my mind from wondering...
to where you are, trying to be free...
Maybe another glass will do the trick..
or did I tell myself that the last trip?..
I'm going to regret this in the morning...
but, I can sleep in, till the pain fades away
from my head, my body...
These grapes are tasting sour on my lips...
but, I still can't stop thinking about you..
your vision not getting any pailer..
the naught in my stomach feeling like...
it was tied by a drunken sailor...
I've been told all my life these feelings I have..
will fade away, they'll not last long....
Why did I listen to them?..
They were so wrong...
Their like jackals, pulling at me..
until I start to tear...
trying to stuff me into a mold...
only pretending to care...
I feel that I've been left behind..
like bones bleaching in the sun..
And then I think of you...
I find myself not wanting to run...
Fill my glass with your soul..
and let me drink you up..
become my fine wine here in this cup..
Intoxicate me.

Some churches I've been to quote Bible verses at me
while looking down their noses...
Their judgement and words tear at my heart and cut into my
soul like thousands of thorns from hundreds of black roses..
This is not the way God intends you to be...
this is what they keep telling me...
What God are they talking about? Can't be the same as mine..
cause if they were things wouldn't be like this..no.things
would be fine...
Why would God deny happiness, deny love or being loved..
to his children, no matter how they find it or with who?
This is a God I won't believe in...
how can you?
Love lifts me up to a better place, makes me a better version
of myself..
I become more tolerant, kinder and caring...
without it I'm just another book on the shelf..
Never being opened, read or taken down...
just collecting dust and always wearing a frown,,
Love opens my eyes to a more beautiful world...
lifts me out of the ******* that makes me want to hurl...
You can dunk me in your Holy Water and try and
change my path...
But, when it comes right down to it...
your just a bunch of hypocrites giving me a bath...
So you keep your God..
I'll take mine over yours any day...
Save your judgment for someone else..
cause  I have nothing left to say!