Oh by the way
Happy Valentines day
I hope you have
A smashing day

So it is
That the poet is lost in translation
By all that was
All that shall never be

What you see is not me
You see what use to be
That outer, now, hollow shell of me
I guess you could call me free
With nothing and nowhere to be

I'll be around
For a while
It's no doubt
Weary
Lost
Hoping that the day I see you again
You're happy
You're loved
You're smiling
This is all I want
It's all I've ever wanted
For you
I just hope
You don't see
What's left of me

I've met Art
In the form of woman
The likes, a realm outside my reach
Afar yet so near
The likes of one still
Changed one's darkened ways
Instilled values grasped in moments
Guiding to this very day

I know now
Exactly
The monster I am
Thank you
I guess
For letting me know
Goodbye

My homeland
Under siege
Looted and burned
To free the corrupt
The ignorance of a nation
Indoctrinated into chaos
Yet here I sit
Hoping only for the safety
The safety of all I love so dearly
Be it the love I have
The love I never had
My concerns only
For the safety of all
Where pieces of my heart resides

I get it
Hopefully it brought you closure
Just understand this
I did as I did
For you
For you alone
It tore me apart
Far from the point
I'd done it all for you
I had to leave
My presence your toxicity
My absence your healing
Many things went unsaid
Most likely best that way
I do wish you well
Only ever
I could never be mad
Not with you
I wish you well
In health
In life
In love

This evening my life changes
For better or worse I couldn't tell
The outcome dependant
Many variables in play
This evening
I change my life
For the same I cannot remain
Much in preparation
More so in deliberation
My ultimate conclusion?

This evening I must change my life forever

Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs

Oh how I've prayed and plea
In excruciating agony
To be free
For you and me
I feel as if thee
Were all for me
But I had to flea
Impossible I'd thought for us to be
To realise unfortunately
I couldn't even save me

The mark has been made
The X of pain
Crimson it flowed
As tears
Cowardice
For I couldn't handle it
I ran again
The X of cowardice
Shaking
Trembling
Because I saw you again

I sat with Dahlia today
As if some animal intuition
She'd known I'd thought of you
I saw her eyes light up
For such a bundle of energy
She immediately sat in my lap
She knew I missed you
She misses you too
So it seemed
So unreal
Afterall
My rescue pitbull pup
Until she became our rescue pup
The moment your face lit up when you saw her
I think she'd recognize you anywhere
Even after such a long time
That's love
Our love
Our hidden love
Our past love
It was there
There's no doubt
As I regret leaving with Dahlia
I still think it was best
Atleast I've got her
My first day with her
A beautiful memory of us
I guess this is all I can take from this

Dahlia
The name of an absolute beauty
A soulful being of splender
Delight and wonder

DAHLIA
The dog
Above all others
The dog that saved me
A time I'd gone yonder
When I'd fallen for an angel

Dahlia
Her name recalling
My fondest reminiscence
Our first walk
Our walk with that woman
I'd pictured to be my wife
Leaving me now with only
Irregular breathing
My mind bleeding
Nothing more for life

Brisk
The two different meanings
We'd spent an hour analyzing
How long ago
What I'd give to talk to you again
To see your light
Only to see you shine so bright
No matter what we'd talk of
You brought out my light
On days like there
Brisk
I want nothing but you
Your presence
Your love

He resides deep down in the ribcage Amidst the dead leaves
Of his own dying heart

I am the only one who can save me
Seemingly you were my only need
Here I am begging on my knees
Begging for my existence to cease
Hands shaking, knees weak
I haven't the heart so see you again Anic
I am but poison
Maybe a little frozen
A heart returning to stone
Prepping for a journey all alone
To me you were home
To you was I only cold to the bone
Now heartless in appearance
I seek only disappearance
Let the void consume me
Do not look for me
Let me
End me

You asked me to leave so I did
This slowly destroyed me
Killed what remained of Liam
So much to the point I had to leave
This time for good
From here a solitary journey
You've given me purpose
Shown me the direction
I thank you for this
Just do me a simple favour
Forget about me
The way you pretended to

Stand with me in the mirror
Tell me what you see
All I can guarentee
That I see is definitely thee
Unfortunately
That which you see
That's no longer me
For I murdered he
Only to live without she
I wish ever so to let it be
Yet still so haunted by memory

Life isn't what it seems
Sometimes all we have is our dreams
A little lucidity between the seams
Something to show us what it all means

I use to write poetry
Apon a time
Thereof a woman
Dearestly held
Another later found
The other now a mother
This one the last to make me suffer

A hot shower
Had me in tears
Not even hot water on this cool evening
Could bring me the warmth
Of your smile alone

Feelings
A mix of chemistry
I'd thought ceased to be
The thought of me with somebody
Feelings
I'd felt were dead
Outside of this poetry platform
I've used for healing
Now for someone I'm again feeling

Standing alone
Amidst the killing field of one's self
Left with little of a past
Not much of a future
Hands and a mouth
Good for only destruction
With Graves to close
Years of work ahead
To fix myself further
Gragments of souls
Filling places mine once was
I have only their humanity and love
With my knowledge
Critically In use
Only for the betterment
Of those held dearly
Amidst the rubble of a once
Ever so fortified heart
I now allow the foundation of the greater good

Blood stains
Body pains
My sanity
Bringing clarity
Purpose defined
Skills refined
For love I did deny
Only so to get by
Knife wounds
Healing my mind
For I was born a fighter
Thus I could never be your lover

I've failed again at being withdrawn
For an individual
I must mourn
Not for death
For a friend I do so much adore
I wish only her well being
As we stand to watch our nation healing
My concerns fleeting
I might aswell be bleeding
For tonight I go forth
Assisting my fellow countrymen
With my God at the reigns
My heart filled with love
Against those
Destroying our country
Making sure only they are fleeing

We went from building futures in one another's eyes
To building futures in others arms

I know I haven't the right
Yet still I dream of you at night
I dream of the first time we'd been introduced
That moment I was instantly seduced
I dream of you laughing
You're always smiling
Your every move graceful
Impossibly beautiful

I lay here now

I just want to love you

Questioning how

How could I have loved you

I'm just a should have been
Could have been
Never was and never ever
Will be
I was just the friend
The neighbour
Overstepped my welcome
Drawn by purity
Defeated by love
A weakened heart
The broken mind
Drove me insane
Drove me away
Fully accepting
My poor decisions
My insensitive choice of words
My ignorance

The role of the bad guy

For you to live peacefully
For you to be happy
You awoke something dormant
Something powerful
Within me
As if your eyes were your key
Seemingly tailor made

I'll forever carry you in my heart
At my weakest you were my light

Teaching me
Moulding me
Releasing me

I can no longer think of you
My thoughts your torment

I leave you to be
As we weren't meant to be

I'm proud of you
To have called you my friend
My hearts first true love

The love you are to spread
His gift to the world

You are so bright
Brighter than you'd ever know
Bright enough to revive a darkened soul

Goodbye my Friend
Goodbye Anic

Thank you
For saving me

Now go forth
Spread love and healing
You're good at it

In God's name
I pray for you
I wish you the greatest
The most wonderful
The holiest
The most loyal and loving
You deserve nothing but the greatest
For you are and always will be

Goodbye Anic
Goodbye my Friend

I love you but have no right
The center of God's heart
You shine so bright
I am so sorry
This is the only way
So I must go away
I cannot help but drown
In you
You are all I ever wanted
More so
Everything I ever needed
Yet still so much more
I know I've hurt you
I cannot do it again
I'm doing this for you
You will flourish
This is all I want for you
Only so without me
Anic
Please take this as a blessing
You never needed me
Not the way I need you
I'm setting you free
Essentially
To Grace you your full potential
I cannot help but cry
As I reminess
The times I felt such love
The times I ******* up
With this poem
I free you of me
This is the end of me
The beginning for you
Please understand
I do this for you!

Gone are the days
Those glorious days of happiness
To what it may be
My own deceit
Destroying myself
Aseak my own hidden self
A raw being
An ugly sight
A truth I do not like
I'd torn love out of myself
Gone cold and void
Seeking Wisdom
Looking for peace
It wasn't there
Never could it be
Only in love
Anic

I'm sorry
I'm dying
Soon heartless
So with this
I might as well
Do as I was taught
Help others
With this time I've left

I haven't felt happiness
Not in a long time
Then you came to me
My mornings dream
Simply sweet
Forever with me
Oddly enough my reason to be

Morning lies
My trial for error
Hearings and lawyers
My boss and his wife
Three indivuduals
I've to convince
I'm sorry
Then
Why it happened?
How could I tell them
These things in my brain
Roots to likes classified
Something I myself denied
A penalty cursing through time
With no resemblance of my old sight
I really did not mean to start a fight
It's just I've truly lost my might
You see I'm afraid I'll never someones knight
Self demise, my very own plight
I guess it's now time for me
To drift off into the night

I feel my heart crumbling
A weakened beat
Lacking motivation
To beat any longer

This war in my head
Without end
My once trophied mind
Torn and tormented
Now a rusted bell
From actions regretful

My heart lost
Yearnfully seeking you
In everything I do
From the once favorite hobby
To the long sit talking to the moon
It always returns to you

For you
My golden arrow
Wedged so elegantly
Inside my chest
Self-inflicted
What I've done to you
My damning

Could I once more
Find peace in your heart
Warmth in your touch
Love in your tone
The fire in your mind
That light so bright

When will the inner me
The subconscious *****
Get a grip
You were never hers
Those soft eyes
The true stairway to heaven
The very same eyes that only saw pain
Reflections of my own distraught world
It was only care
She never loved you
Get it into your head!

Forget it

She's permanently etched
Deep within
Along fibres and neurons
From thought to coping mechanisms

You were mearly her friend
Wait
Acquaintance at most
You ****** it all up though
Just someone she now wishes she'd never known

Sometimes and still feeling
I had to die so she could live

Her heart
The Grandest Sunflower
Not to wild but free
I wouldn't catch it
My fear, saved her
I had to let her be
Only truly free
Without me

I'm tired of denying myself what feels most right
Until I see you again
I hope you sleep tight
Til that moment I look in your eyes
To see if you let me in
I still love you
I will not allow myself to walk away again

Gun fire and blast beats
All but to drown out
Ones past deeds

Why did it have to be you
I never wanted this to be
I couldn't have given you eternity
For the first time in my life
I'd loved so hard
A love that couldn't be
I would not break you
My intentions pure
My influence poison
You were perfect just as you were
I hope you haven't changed
Oh what I'd give to see your smile again
Just to see you happy
A happiness I could never give you
That's all I'd ever wanted
Your heart so pure
A love unparalleled

I wish we'd never met
You're just too hard to forget

Be it he
Or be it me
Forth through time
Shall it ever be
Me
The one who chased away
HER
My Guardian Angel
With you goes
The remains of me
The core of my heart
For yours it will always be

I need you to forget
Forget him and all you saw in him
I've buried him
He was weak
He wanted nothing
Other than to love you

He ran
For you
His cowardice and actions in silence
His Sacrifice for you
To prosper
You'll always be the Angel of his eye
The sole heir to his heart

He walked away though
His greatest regret
The regret that shattered him
Torn apart at every seam
He loved you more than himself

Although
We both know he couldn't make you happy
Neither can what he's become
What stands in his image
Is not him anymore
It's me
If I speak for him

He still loves you
We both agree
You deserve so much better
Forget him
This can't go on
Neither him or I
Have place in this world
Let alone place in your magnificent heart

You never needed him
Not the way he needed you
We did this for you
You've moved on
For the best

He tried
He failed
There is not other like you
Carry that with you
Your love so pure
As he'd said
A love to pure for this world

He missed his chance
Now let him rest
Forget about him
Allow what's left of his soul
To die

Along with what remains of his flesh
He never wanted to be in this world
Not until he'd met you
That's in the past
It's nothing either him or I could figure a way to fix
You're better off without him
Besides
Liams' gone now

For love I pushed the Dearest away
When all I want is to hold her
Burning within to this day
Could she have been my cure
The miracle I saught to save
Instead saving me
Ones kind too rare
Now lost in the wake
Seeing her be swept away
The best for her sake
Happy for her I wade off indismay
In silence and poetry I break
Solitarlily I fade

I miss you
I miss me
As bizarre
As it may be
I feel I cannot be
Without thee

Who am I
But only a lost lover
For my love I did find
Fearful I'd hurt you
I had to leave
Day after day
This haunts me
Down I plummet
Beneath rock bottom
In you I found peace
I found true love
You are so close
Yet so far
Only to be further
I love you
Oh how I wish I'd told you
Although you already knew
For you I give my heart
I need it not where I go
Just know that I'll always love you
No matter the time
Nor the distance
You are always
The love I lost forever

Standing in fistfuls of blood
Shattered glass pulled to the floor
A man in hand
His doings unquestionable
Undeniable to my community
My actions just
To civilians surprise
My inner
Enraged by stupidtiy
Pained by loss
What it'd taken to release
My worlds might
I cannot project
Not my pain unto others
Standing aside
As law enforcement arrived
The situation contained
My muse
Saving not only I from
My pain
Saving mens lives
With her drive

What cruel items
Mirrors
Why would someone create such things
I looked in one today
The first time in months
Fearing what I'd see
I was right
I couldn't recognize that person
Eyes hollow
Skin porcelain
Face expressionless
Then to
Looking at old photos
Comparing
What happened to that guy
The one who loved
The one who cared
The one with a plan
Now callus
Eyes cold
Future unditermined
Life meaningless
Fading
This isn't what I wanted
Losing myself
I created this monster
This is what I am to live with
My burden