You've once recounted in memory
with that young boy vigor
of a hobby collection of that sort.

I find it fascinating how you could
maintain our feigned interest in naivety.
You kept us so long in silence.

You've kept all these things in
jars and cabinets packed in
tight spaces.

And as little and as inconsequential
that butterfly memory that you kept
in a bright jar up in your attic;

let that ripple strengthen into a wave
but i will never be what you willed
and kept for so long. A butterfly

clipped and dipped in formalin
for your tiny framed collection,
that pride-start, if you even had one.

-19FEB15

Ive been chewing my bottom lip
Wishing it was yours
Maybe then
I wouldnt bleed
So much

Clipping my fingernails
Down to the nub
Because i want
To paint them black

I cant quit tearing
Out pages
And pages
Of poems

Because
Every
Single
Word
Is all about you

Control freak
to
control freak
This will be a duel
Your hand
in
my hair
Using me as your tool

Youll tell me
What to do
Ill manipulate
The scene
Youll be
the cruel master
But youll never
Be mean

I can play
the kitten
Harmless
Just wanting
to play
And then youll
Lose control
From the ***** things
I say

13- You can't stay mad at him/her for more then a minute or two, and you have to actually try and stay mad.

12- You'll read his/her IMS or other msgs, over and over and over again.

11- You'll walk really, really slow while your with him/her.

10- You'll feel shy whenever your with him/her

9- While thinking about him/her your heart will beat faster and faster.

8- By listening to his/her voice you'll smile for no reason what so ever.

7- While looking at that person you won't be able to see anybody else that's around...only that person.

6- He/she becomes all you think about.

5- You'll get high just by their smell...

4- you'll start listening to really slow songs

3- You'll realize your always smiling to yourself when you think of him/her

2- You'll do anything for him/her

1- While reading this there was ONE person on your mind the WHOLE time.
                                                           ^-^