A lot of what I write
Is Tripe
Whatever that is

I seem to find it
Must know that smell
Or is it a sound

I've been around
That's Become invisible
Background

My baseline throbs
at this way
beating forward

shallow fetid strokes
Of opprobrium
reign

And nowhere is where
We're going
To be dissapative

As if we were there
and here tonight
for you

I'm very ugly
So, don't try to convince me that
I'm a very beautiful person
Because at the end of the day,
I hate myself in every single way
I'm not going to lie to myself by saying
There's beauty inside of me that matters
So rest assured, I'll remind myself
That I'm a worthless, terrible person
And nothing you say will make me believe
That i still deserve love
Because no matter what,
I'm not good enough to be loved
And I'm in no position to believe that
Beauty doesn't exist within me
Because whenever I look in the mirror, I always think
Am I as ugly as people say?

(Now read bottom up)

Is it wrong to tell you how feel
When I know you're with someone else?

“and I still hadn’t changed my
opinion,” she said. “I still
believe that
a double suicide is the absolute
highest
display of love there is. Think about it,
two lovers dying in each
other’s arms. What in hell
can be more romantic?”

“I don’t know,” he said, “staying alive
for each other’s sake, maybe?”

“What? That’s, like, not
romantic at all. The longer you stay alive,
the higher your chances to fall
out of love. Nothing
chews at love like life does. That’s
why death is the answer.
It’s the only way
to immortalize love. It’s the way towards
that plane of existence where all
you feel is love and nothing else.
I wanna go there!” She squeezed her fists
and eyes, braced herself as
she said it.

“Well,” he said, “We’re both out of a job,
unwanted by family, no home,
no cash, no future…”

“All we really need
is love!” she screamed, jumping into his arms

“Yeah,” he said, “and an overdose.”

“I’m with you, dearest cousin!”

hear the falling rain
hot coffee and poetry
love is in the air.
8/7/2021

It's selfish
and it's cruel,
to tell you
that I'm thinking about you.

So I'll just go to bed.

Quietly and alone.