Washing my hands
Doing my ***** laundry
On rocks of regret
Wondering
Just what got into me
Crawling under my skin
Without my noticing
Catching me off guard
Unstable and insecure
You are the virus
Overtaking me from every angle
Until my brain is drowning
In thoughts of you
memories replaying on a loop
Wondering just how you got here
And how you’ve planned your escape
Or if you’ve decided to haunt me
Infinitely until I’ve returned to you
But that day will never come
Beaten and bruised
From the saga of our downfall
Unable to return
To the scene of the crime
The one where you mistook me
For some kind of fool
And fed me lies
Until I was choking on proof
Leaving me abandoned
Searching for the truth

Lost
In this moment
Where our lips touch
And the world falls away
Terrified
For the seconds
Where this ends
And we return
To the world
Released
From this spell
Cast over us
In those minutes of ardor
Consumed by each other
Blinded by the light we create
Ignorant to the circumstances
Uncaring of the consequence
Then the sun rises
And we find ourselves
Alone
Once again
Echoes of the night before
Haunting us
Creating an intense desire
Feeling wicked

Wanting so desperately
To give myself to you
Lost in the idea
That this might unfold
The way we’d hoped
Dreaming out loud
About the future
Knowing tomorrow
Is never guaranteed
Because we’ve been here before
Caught in the crossroads
Of who we are
And who we used to be
Searching the seams of each other
Hoping to find meaning
In the passion of your kiss
An explosion of sorts
Where our mouths crash
And the tide rises within us

Searching for validation
in all the wrong places
Dark spaces
Appeal to me
Moth
To a twisted flame
Glutton for punishment
Every day
Begins the same way
And by the end of it
I am a fool
Waiting patiently
For the days that never come
Where you can find yourself
Bare enough
To bare your soul to me

You make me want to kick and scream
Because I hate that I love you
and hate you all at the same time
Break the plaster
Shatter the dishes
Destroy the photos
Ensure there is no proof of us here
Because I believe now that love is a lie
A myth to get us all twisted
On reality and illusion
A trick to reel us in
When in truth it is a sin
The amount of destruction
That results from this word
Let’s start from this apartment
Then we’ll investigate the world
Love creates peace
But where does peace exist?
I’ve lost faith and I am petrified
Of what results from this loss of light
I punched a hole through the wall
And saw myself on the other side
A simple reflection
Terrifying when it comes through
Like a mirror
Existing in another dimension

Lost
Empty
Apathetic
Varying degrees of self hatred
Effortlessly breaking me down

Making me doubt
Everything we ever were

Asking politely
Let me be
Or learn to grow
Not digress
Existing in solitude is what I do best

Your assumption
As usual
Is incorrect
The line
where I don’t miss you
Because I was the one
who walked away
But I do
With every fiber of my being
The time
That never seems to pass
The scars that never go away
Your words that echo
The big picture I wasn’t seeing

Empty spots on the walls
Where our photos used to be
Orchestrated perfectly
To tell the story of us
Now the we becomes an I
And our stories have been smashed
Nothing but memories trashed
And discarded
In favor of dishonesty

Dents in the walls
Show my anger
At you
At this
At the destruction
Of a treasure
that was seemingly perfect
There was no way to measure

Everyone seeks but very few find
The relationship that I created in my mind
Built on lies and clever stories
The rust that corroded us over time