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Katie Oct 2019
Happy Birthday
that's it
A year later and older
So much has happened
During that year , we laughed and cried
But here one year later and older
It all has changed
I can here you laugh down the hall
But I haven't seen you in a month
Who knows what changed
Between 10-20-2018 and 10-20-2019
I know I shouldn't
But I miss you and
Happy Birthday
Katie Aug 2019
Have you ever lived your worst nightmare?
Sitting on your best friends bed
Daggers leaving her mouth
Stabbing you straight through your heart
Half expecting to see spiders crawl out of her eyes
But it’s real
You can feel her soft blanket under you
The one you used when you slept in her room
It’s real

So there you are
Sitting on your best friends bed
The person who knew you best
The person who you told everything
Is staring at you like you’re a stranger
Like you haven’t spent nights drinking wine out of ***** mugs
Like you haven’t gossiped about boys together
Like you haven’t cried together

After you frantically flip through
The pages of your memories
Searching the moment when things changed
But things didn’t
All you can remember is laughter and fun

So it’s real
And no matter how much you think and wonder
And no matter how much you pinch yourself
There’s nothing you can do
You’re alone now
And it’s real
Isn't great when you start you're second year at college and all you're friends decide they don't like you anymore? Especially when you arranged your housing to share a bathroom with them and had graciously volunteered to have a random roommate because they aren't good with strangers.
Katie Aug 2019
Dear joseph,
I just wanted to quickly thank you for how good you’ve been to me. I don’t know if I can communicate how much it meant to me. THank you for going out of your way and picking me up when you were at work. I know it was inconvenient for you but I don’t know how I would of been able to stay in my room. Have I ever mentioned how wonderful you are? You were so great and knew exactly how to cheer me up. I know I was probably extra clingy and annoying. I’m sorry for that but it was like one of my worst fears realized. I always have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that everyone secretly hates me and one day they’ll all realize it and leave me. Normally when I feel this way, it’s all in my head and never true but this time it wasn’t. I honestly thought it may of all been a terrible dream and I would wake up and everything would be normal. I’ve had people leave me out of the blue before and I don;t trust people to stay around. And they knew that and they did it anyways. I honestly don’t get how people can just decide things like that. Even if I felt as if I was growing apart from someone, I would always be there. With you, I don’t feel the impending doom that you’ll realize that you don’t want me anymore. Thank you for always making me feel loved.
<3 Katie
I know it's not a poem but I wanted to put this out into the world in case I don't have the courage to actually give it to him.
Katie Jul 2019
I will give you 90% of my heart
Please disregard the broken fragments
And don’t ask
That little dark splinter has shriveled
It’s not worth giving

I will open all the doors to my soul
But please don’t go into the basement
It’s dark and damp and full of spiders
It can’t renovated
It’s not a place for living

Please be satisfied
With holding my bright beating heart
And walking the ornate halls of my soul
Attaching the splinter may spread its disease
Opening the door may release the spiders

I’m terrified of showing you the splintered remain
And answering the questions that follow
I’m terrified of opening the basement door
And seeing your face change from adoration to pity
So please let them be
I'm currently in the sharing your whole soul part of a relationship. I was previously in a emotionally abusive and sexually manipulated relationship, like years ago. Almost know one knows and I'm still not at point in my life that I can but it's hard to keep the people you love most out of that part of my history. He can guess that something has happened and has always respected my wishes not to talk about it.
Katie Apr 2019
I rest my head against your back
Pressing into your warmth
I can hear your heart beating
I can feel you breathing
As you fall asleep

You are the shore to my tide
Stable and dependable
There when I fall
To cushion the blow
There when I rise
Sparkling in the sun
Reminding me to come back home
No matter how far I rome

With you I flow freely
Exploring the ocean
And when I’m tired
There you are
Warm and comfortable
A perfect to rest

So as I rest my head on your back
My arms tightly wrapped around you
Our legs intertwined
Safely surrounded in your scent
As I fall asleep
Katie Apr 2019
Blindsided when you left
Even though i shouldn’t have been
Blindside when you came back
Saying the things I wished
You had said months ago
Things I never thought I would hear
Things I wish weren’t true
'
You said we had no “spark”
You said you weren’t sure
You said you were confused
You said things that broke me

Now you are taking it back
After four months of me being happy
With another
After all this time
I thought we were just friends
Now you are taking this friendship away
Proclaiming your continuing feelings for me

I hope you know
That even without Joe
I would never go back
The moment you said it
My first clear thought
Was not of you and me
But of him
soooo the  guy I barely who strung me along for a good couple of months and that i recently decided to be friends with confessed his feelings for me
Katie Feb 2019
Three words sitting on the tip of my tongue
With the weight of a thousand great white horses
They flow in my veins like honey
Sickly sweet and sticky
They float in my lungs like bubbles
Crystal clear and coaxing
They flutter in my stomach like butterflies
Perfectly pure and playful
They beat in my heart like a drum
Brightly booming and beaming

But here I am engulfed in silky sweet caramel
Hesitating to let the words free
Whispering them silently
Screaming them in my head
I love you Joseph
And while it’s seems to soon to say
I feel it in every inch
This is for my beautiful boyfriend, who doesn't know what dark hole he brought me out of
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