each morning we'd sit
and sit
only sit
and view the worlds first awakening men
the sun would come crawling from behind our hills and
buckets of light would be poured right above our head
but I don't think we ever shielded our eyes
we'd just sit
and sit
only sit
we shared quite the routine you and I

I watched him hypnotize
the other girls
as he does the fruit in the trees
the clouds in the sky
As he did me
-Jandy Nelson

Each night as I'm stuck in bed
My eyes our sewed opened
So I could relive all my sins
I lay each one out on bulletin board
In my mind
Connecting each one to one another
With simple red yarn
Im trying to pinpoint
the exact moment
My life became filled with
secret regrets
Its suffocating me
I want to speak up
To tell some other living soul about
All the bumps and bruises
That is my life
That is me
But i cant
So I lay with my dry eyes
Unable to blink

Admiration is best from distance
The pure thought of you
Is beautiful
You however is tainted by
The ugliness of reality

*** was never vulnerable to me
I krept into a small corner of myself
Attempting to keep me safe
While  hundreds of your hands
Groped every inch of what you thought was me
So you could come undone

Lavender linen
Swallowed me whole
Waddled me up in
Silky sheets
Cradling my skin