I awaken to find myself dreaming
Palm pressed flat against my fingers
Pushing on the barriers of reality
Everything is sound
My own thoughts cannot keep my attention
Drifting between them
A superimposed facsimile
An impossible locale in a probable location
A passenger on the highway
Screaming for release
Hungry for abandon
Who are you
This female driver without a name
Why aren’t you bothered by the situation
But I barely have time to contemplate
Your unshakable determination
That peculiar knowing smile
The way the setting sun finds its comfort in your eyes
This direction, before I am climbing
known stairs to an unknown location
a wall where a door is supposed to be
I know where I am headed
Its just that its not here
Descent into familiarity
Friendly faces from the past
Unchanged and un-aged
Successful distraction
Unfinished

Pages turned, memory bound
Your life is resting in the lost and found
Uncertain, creation and evolution pound
Affirmations, sought and found
Bleeding questions, pulling you, southbound
Frantic scramble, run from the hellhound
Your body and soul, earthbound
Awaken from this nightmare, underground
Unadulterated Exploration, consciousness resounds
Absolute freedom, profound

open sores and festering wounds
searing souls and mounds of bleached white bones
why are they bleached?
what, I don't know, that's just what you do with bones
you bleach them
oh he says
as he forces his ears inside my head
then he takes a garden hose
and thumbs his nose
at all my paper-thin relationships
like he knows
piles and piles of dripping wet has beens
hills and mountains of ended possibilites
opened and closed
my life was a story
you can take what you read
like wow this is boring

then why even tell me
if your plan wasn't to rip out my
(insert worthless metaphor)
just once
why cant our souls speak
tan pants and butterfly clips
lakeside conversations and moments of eternity
succumb to a starvation like lust
leave it alone
take another sip from a cup full of memories
drowning in another diluted moment
ill never surface for air
and my body will never float to the surface
of lies and deceit
you can bury me in the honesty of this moment
headlines and headstones
ive already been erased
you cant revive love
dead is gone and gone is dead
incoherent?
hardly
you know how i think
i dont pretend to know me
youll never understand me
suffocating even as you try
asphyxiation alluding to inner clarity
don't be fooled by my lack of reality
trust me
and take heed
no swimming allowed
in my head
that could have been the perfect ending to this
but ive been wrong before
maybe its another begi....
no don't say it
that phrase is overused
my heart is overused
wretched and heaving
vomiting past indiscretions
volatile projections of regret
limitless wandering of the eternal enmities of my life
smile
i just did