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Apr 16 · 210
Eno Apr 16
Today the boat was rocky.
Apr 8 · 122
The last letter
Eno Apr 8
I have sent my love
A letter
In a sealed envelope
On a wooden boat
Due West
Moving slowly
In the fading light
Gentle currents
Leading it
To die
With the sun
And enter the River of Styx
In as much
Turmoil and tyranny
As it configured
In my soul
With all the anonymity
And repression
It encountered within
My life
Which rendered me
To be a lady
That looks on afar
Into the distance
Knowing that
All the love she ever wanted
Was always across the hall
And in the warm arms
Of one so near
Of one so
For someone
Like her
Apr 8 · 61
Eno Apr 8
I went halfway across the world
Because being with you
A strong current
To pick up
The waves
Lapping around
The shores
Of my heart
And what I learnt there
Is that love is but
A fraction of time
Adding you to me
and dividing us by distance
(A space too big for me to bear)

So I followed you
Because you asked -
Under the pretence
That I yearned
For the vast expanse
To learn to be free again,
But I found that your soul
Was not angelic and flawless
It was a myriad of a thousand sparkling shards of glass
Scattered and dazzling

In the moments you were quiet
I loved you
On the days you were eaten by guilt
I loved you
On nights you were weary and ignorant
I loved you
And the moments when we rolled around in laughter
I loved you best

But I made a promise
That after this indulgence;
A deluge of minutes, days and weeks spent together
Cascading around me
Like falling stars
Dancing on the surface of my universe
That it has been time
Time enough
That I have worshipped you
As the centrepiece of my earth
And you still don’t know
And I still can’t tell you

I promised this would be the last time
I would allow the beating of your heart
To interrupt the beating of mine

And you must never break
Feb 24 · 97
Something has died
Eno Feb 24
I need you
To give me a post mortem
Please ***** my rib cage open
Something has died in me
But I feel it sit
In the pit of my chest
Like smoke
The lung tissue
Please relieve me
Everything’s constricting
My airwaves
Like I’m squeezing
Through the neck of a bottle
I’m cold
My fingers are splintered
By minus temperatures
And there’s a jewellery box
Playing somewhere
A ballerina
Dancing around
In front of the mirror
Feb 24 · 136
Eno Feb 24
Can I
Out cold
Burn with
It fills.
My gut
To the brim.
Feb 24 · 45
Eno Feb 24
Perhaps it’s not your jealousy but mine
I can’t bear that you spend time
With another more than me
As if hours are  
The recipe for attraction
I’ve spent 2 years of my hours on you
This trial and error period
Should be over
But like an automatic subscription
I’m still privy to your information
All your promotions
And customer reviews
All I ever wanted was you
Just you
And all you ever wanted was not
Not me
Feb 24 · 37
Eno Feb 24
I am not emotionally safe in this house
One seeks to punish or ignore me because I have the power to tear him down
Another competes with me like a **** for light, hungry for male attention
And then there’s you
The one I love in secret
Sometimes the agony
Is infuriating
And embarrassing
I’m boxed in
By more than these walls
Feb 24 · 179
Eno Feb 24
When there is no solid ground
Just combination
When love is abound
Always conditional
When emotion is potent
Beyond reach
When sleep beckons
Nightmare days
When life carries on
Just suffocate -
When the next day
Never arrives
When pain and fear and shame and distrust and betrayal and dissapointment and disgust for yourself sit like a ball of cat hair stirring in your abdomen.
You’re lying here
And wish you could be anywhere else
Away from destructive characters
Torn right out of a novel where
The genre is
A Psychological thriller
Feb 24 · 48
Eno Feb 24
I do not love you
Only my idea of who you could be
Which is like loving a picture
Of a person you’ll never meet
Feb 24 · 60
Eno Feb 24
Do I project
All my delusional dissatisfaction
Onto you?
Because you’re an easier target to hate
Than the one I love.

If I decide
The blame
Lies at his feet
Then it is a tomb of mine.

I have a troubled mind
That seems to find a
Home in hearts
That do not bear the same capacity as mine
Which dooms me
To forever be locked inside a labyrinth
Chasing something just beyond -
The next corner,
Which I think promises me
All of the wonders my future could deserve;

Children running across the countryside with ribbons in their hair.

It all ends.
Every. Time.
In despair.
I need to let go
I need to try again
To let you be a smokey wisp carried away by the winds

I do not love you
Only my idea of who you could be
Which is like loving a picture
Of a person you’ll never meet
Feb 24 · 33
Eno Feb 24
Attention seekers
Do not care for you
They are addicts
Of their own inadequacies
They are compelled to run at what you love
In the belief they can become what you love
Attention seekers
Often wreak some havoc
In my life
I try to sidestep them
But extroverts like me
Entertaining company
So perhaps it’s my fault all along
Feb 24 · 64
Eno Feb 24
You covet your neighbours belongings
Well I’d gladly gift you
Silver and Gold
But you bay for blood
Aim right at the jugular
But miss and puncture my heart
You demand my loves attention
And throw it high in the air like confetti
To which you throw back your head and laugh
For the crowd
Well I see you cast an eye in my direction
You’re searching for a tell in my composition
A wince or an expression of the sick that rises in my stomach
But I can’t give you that
I’d rather die
Than provide you with such satisfaction
Basic creatures
Cannot comprehend the network of conflicting and concerting virtuosos of my heart
The snaps
And the strings
You approach with sharp scissors
You can hide your malice from yourself
But I
Always know
It’s coming
Feb 24 · 71
Attention Pony
Eno Feb 24
It feels like
You look at me
And see a finish post
A thoroughbred
Clearing hurdles
That you are too pathetic to attempt
Still you steal my paddock
You prance around
And around
The rider
And get him to choose you best
But darling
It only means you’re the best at performing
Like a pony
Eno Feb 14
I’m thirsty
For a Life that throws obstacles at me.
When I shall dig out the courage
To dodge and conquer them
In the name of progress,
For some kind of benevolence
That I’m not quite sure of yet.

I propel forwards
Only for my eyes to meet,
For my nose
to graze-A ladder
Between me and my next step.

Who I Am


Who I need to be.

Up and down I go,
Over the edge,
My feet barely touch
the groun
d.When a phantom wheelbarrow
Careers it’s way into the back
Of my knees. And I must fight gravity -
Jump up and out the side!

Oh, but
In this way
Both thrills and stilts;
Exhausts the very foundations
Mighty seeds of ambition were sown on,
Till there are no nutrients left
In the body
For a common ****
Even to bloom
Tir - - - ed

I rest here for a while
It gives me time
To really look around.
The man to my right
Just runs around the same 400m track
Every day.
Every month,
Into years.
He seems happy
But he doesn’t seem to really go anywhere New

Curiosity and discovery
May lead to misery
Beckon the shadowy places
To spread like cancer inside of me
And scoop hope
Like a melon baller
Out of my cavities.
But the man to the right of me
Never knows.

So I tell myself
Maybe he doesn’t have the capacity;
Does that mean
That he does not feast on the senses
Of each fruitful experience
As I ?
Dissecting every moment
Searching for beauty and cruelty
That I might consume its knowledge
And be led somewhere
Higher up
To a room brimming
With sisters and brothers
And as I open the gold embossed doors
Solid Oak
I will rejoice
Because I have found my people
And we will fight
The good fight
Eno Jan 10
My obsession used to be
with unrequited love
I’d write about the dreariness
Of my unfulfilled life
For days
But I’m afraid now
I’ve lost all imagination
And I just think about death all day
Every day
I’m not at liberty
To dream anymore
Or want for anything better
All that I have
For as long
Eno Jan 10
How are we not all in chaos rocking back and forth in dread?
Grabbing every little thing real and imagined and pulling it close to us?

Maybe we are -

It’s too hard to accept that
It will All get taken away from us
That Nothing will ever stay long enough
The world will constantly be running off with somebody Else
And you will never be quite Yourself
For very long

There will always be a

                     an end.
Jan 10 · 136
The will to live
Eno Jan 10
I remember the days
                 I used to wake up
                          And beg the ceiling to
                                           Fall down on me.

Now when I wake
             I beg the world
                      That I may have more days
                                      To talk to the ceiling.
Dec 2018 · 135
The Grim Reaper
Eno Dec 2018
Death follows me
And I follow death
I wish I could have a cheery companion
But you have to work with the facts
The facts of life

He gives me a look
And I give him one back
Raises an eyebrow, taps his bony fingers
Maybe you should take your time
Take your time with this one

Please -
She’s my mother.
Dec 2018 · 50
All consuming love
Eno Dec 2018
Love only helps
In so far
As it does not consume you
Watch, it will stretch out your life
It’s been proven.

But true love
Real love
When you would refuse
A life without them
Well, that’s not built for survival
At all

A life
Your love
Gives me
A deadline
Dec 2018 · 167
Loves last breath
Eno Dec 2018
Blackbird at first dawn
Your bittersweet song
Has awoken me;
My entire being
Rolls out
Like the Bayeux Tapestry
Fighting to survive
But now I see it
After decades
Oh, how -
Every intricate
Leads back
To you

Oh, my loss -
My curse

I am terrified

What am I to do?
One day you will die

One day you will die
And all of the songbirds
May well drop from the sky too
All the trees may wither and *****
My heart
It’s weight
Will break my back

I will not drink from the lees of life
Ever again
I can’t
I can’t have that
Dry, burning feeling on the insides of my mouth
The back of my throat
Gulping emptiness
Into the gut
Where a pit of sick awaits
Day upon days

No- it can’t be!

I refrain from loving anything
And anyone

How could the greatest of loves
Be already upon me

What have the years woven
Around my bones and my blood

Oh, I do not want to look at the face
Of this earth
And for it to stare back at me
Like an unborn child
When you are no longer here
I will become frail of mind

I live in fear
Of the inevitable future
I wake in fits of agony in the night
Anxious that
Without you
Without the spectacular shining of your light
On the dark alleyways of my soul
No compass to guide
No voice to console
I’m just one half, of a whole.
Dec 2018 · 48
Eno Dec 2018
It’s about time for me to leave
Before my heart unravels
I’ve got to step quickly away
Fantasy cannot be allowed travel
In our space
Ribs rise and fall
What a mistake
To try and hold
It all

Sometimes when I’m with you
I forget to breathe

Living just
On the
Nov 2018 · 304
Survive with me
Eno Nov 2018
You give me hope when the greys start to bleed through into the pure white spaces, where I hide my greatest inventions and shine the brass and copper networks of my mettle.
You are the carpenter of all my broken pieces when the master of my mind takes annual  leave and the control panels begin to fracture and puncture the fettle.
You are my raison d'etre when the weeds and the warts of the world start to curl up my calves and strangle the song, wrapping around my hummingbird heart pulling it into the cold,silent ground.
You, survive, with me.
Nov 2018 · 384
Human, keep on moving
Eno Nov 2018
Headaches of consequence
Branch out
Like the passage of time
Carrying echoes of past
2ams crying on the phone
Holding the pillow as close
as the child that you have lost
Each memory like a closing bud
Petals blown away
circling slowly down and around
being crushed onto the ground
like that Winter you spent in Paris
to get away from your family
and their traditions
Like an extradition
of the soul
We will stand trial
on our own identities
Until there is
nothing left          
to recognise         any more.
Nov 2018 · 429
It’s time
Eno Nov 2018
I have to let go
I have to quit you
Like cigarettes
Oct 2018 · 63
Eno Oct 2018
It doesn’t bode well
To think too much into the future
Is the new ******
Oct 2018 · 160
Eno Oct 2018
Every single day
Without you
Is a convalescence

Your effluent
Is my scourge
No more

Once more
Into the light
This time with feeling
Oct 2018 · 52
Loveless one
Eno Oct 2018
Stare me down
Like the barrel of a gun
6 chambers in your heart -
Empty, each one

Leave me cold
I’ll spin the cylinder
Squeeze all the triggers
Be gone

No Russian Roulette
When you’ve got nothing
To deliver

No Mexican stand off
When confrontation
Makes you quiver

Your soul is foam
Floating on the ****

You let it loose, out
In the world it’s colours run

The devil of ignorance
Gave birth
To a selfish jellyfish of a son
Oct 2018 · 24
Now is wrong
Eno Oct 2018
O this cruel world
Leaves me thankless
In all consumed love
Yes it is selfish
To minimise the wonders
Of autumn leaves
Colouring in time
Of colossal seas
Swarming the globe
But inside
Focusing really tightly
On this made up world
Of you and I
It seems to offer me an answer
To the question I’ve been asking all along:
We met too soon
It doesn’t matter what I feel for you because
Now is wrong
Oct 2018 · 342
A lifetime at sea
Eno Oct 2018
We ebb and flow
On the same
..     ..  ..
  ..  ..     ..
..   ..  ..     ..
Our waves lap upon one another
Sometimes more like a lover
Sometimes more like a brother
..     ..  ..
  ..  ..     ..
..   ..  ..     ..

The difference is
That I have journeyed
So far
To get here;
You have only just

And this is why
You’re not ready.

I must find the strength
To leave you
Dancing upon the oceans surface
On your own


For only then
In years to come
May we find each other
At the right time
And love what remains
Sep 2018 · 134
In awe
Eno Sep 2018
Hand-crafted by some master of fine art
Your soul is a tapestry of integrity and loyalty
Of brutal depth
And powerful honesty
So few are granted access
But I have always seen
The passionate glint in your eye
Heard the symphony of hopes and fears playing its melody just outside
The quiet, polite boy everyone else meets
And I’ll love you for years to come
I hope you never find out just how much
Sep 2018 · 334
I go willing
Eno Sep 2018
Like the moth to your flame
I will worship the blinding light
Of your contradictory nature
Without another to blame
When I am burned
By your see-saw soul
Sep 2018 · 1.2k
Let me paint for you
Eno Sep 2018
If you gave me watercolours and the talent to do my worst
I would paint you a watery scene where the colours bleed from grey to green
We would be in Venice
And you would be walking away
From everything we could have been

Off centre strokes a single gondola
Of blue black streaks in the rain
And smudged opposite
A brick built opening
A canal side doorway

But it leads only to the bottom of the Sile
Dashing any dreams I had
Of our deep connection
And of minds, fertile
For a love together;
Of intricacy and intimacy.

Let me be your Doge’s palace
Standing in honour for you,  
Or there will forever be a reflection on the water
Of the fading light in that cold September sky
The evening that could have been
Not a dark but a guiding night
Where our hands and our hearts
Find each other
And pull us up and over
The limitations of my cover -

My closest friend, this is the worst;
To know you
Is a blessing
But to love you
Is a curse
Sep 2018 · 115
The push/pull of longing
Eno Sep 2018
I hate that I am wrapped around your finger like a pretty silver bow atop a Christmas present that’s only brought to your attention once or twice a year,
Well I don’t have space for Christianity because you have become my religion and I believe in nothing but you, the very fibres of me, firing neurones and chemical matters are set in motion just by the gaseous particles that sway as you move your hand from the edge of the chair and run it through your hair,
this malleable predisposition sends me into despair, I can’t even hear you compliment someone on TV I wish I was her - spirals of frustration cushioned by many memorable moments cherished with you when we are close, too close.
Sep 2018 · 106
Take your own advice
Eno Sep 2018
If I were to come to me
With the things I’ve done
With the things I’ve been
The mistakes I hate
The moves I made
When all I really needed was to wait
I’d say
“little darling,
you’re still great
And it’s not too late
To show them.”
Sep 2018 · 127
Worries on the water
Eno Sep 2018
Run my fingers through the water
Around and round
The ripples

All life’s wanderings
Placed in order
Ready to repeat

Winds whip up the autumn leaves
And I am
Sep 2018 · 158
There’s life there too
Eno Sep 2018
If you look closely you’ll see
A pattern
Between those rocks
Two lines
One greener than grass
The other a shade of grey
And if you stay with it
There’s a hollow space underneath
Big enough to fit a metre or two
Of rope ravelled
There’s actually more pattern
The colours more shaded
And movement
The original stripes gleam
Away from the light above
It’s a body
A thick hide
Of resilience
And distress
Seeking solace in what’s left
Behind the fingerprints
In a glass cage
Of a zoo
Sep 2018 · 126
Life/death balance
Eno Sep 2018
Yin and yang
And somehow
There’s progress
Slipped in between
Like a debit card
Swiping through the machine
We pay for our sins
And there’s a cost for the sun too
The ultimate sum
Will take us all down
In a final gasp
And a laugh from a clown
It doesn’t matter then
Whether you’ve had a crippling fear from birth of a white painted face, a ****** wig and a fabricated smile
Or if you like to have them around
We’ll only regret the things we didn’t do
Sep 2018 · 151
Icarus mentality
Eno Sep 2018
I will
That in a theme park of life
I am the Big Dipper
The motivation to rise
Comes from the dive
And the drowning
Gains its momentum
From flying so high
Sep 2018 · 1.7k
The exhibitionist
Eno Sep 2018
There’s 3 left now
To state their case
For past and present
They’re all happy to show their face
One more so than others
Gets up on a podium
And shouts
When everyone
Was already
Hard to let it in
Without the illusion of choice
A soliloquy
Of triumph
Should be spoken alone
You wonder
If modesty
Breeds honesty
Or the other way around
Or neither
Sep 2018 · 879
Fate vs Feet
Eno Sep 2018
In the great race of life
Had I missed the starting gun?
No it was much more subtle
Delicate than that
What does comparison serve
But a hollow pit of tar and discontentment
We’re all in the same race
But our tracks don’t look the same
Whether beast or feast
For some wayward predator
We’re not all looking the same way
Or volunteer ourselves into the same games
Hush now
And let the world have its way
Sep 2018 · 2.0k
Old friends of mine
Eno Sep 2018
Theres still 5 more lives
Connecting and disconnecting
In this scene
An American diner
In south west England
Sat in a booth
That holds thousands of shared
And narratives that only we feel
With characters we played and knew
There’s no stronger drug
Than those things humans have collectively been through
But I didn’t think of this
When I looked at you
I’d never seen you look this good
Not in years
You’ve just upgraded
Your vehicle in life
No paper boy bicycle
Doing the rounds
But a brand new direction
You don’t need to worry for the next 3 years
Joined a scheme that will take you where you want to be
I wished it was me
Sep 2018 · 3.8k
A nostalgic visit
Eno Sep 2018
7 lives
Some were breaking
Now riding the wave
Others were drowning
Now swimming up and away
There’s secrets cleaning the tables
Unanswered questions serving food
And I cannot comprehend the distance

Between me



We began in tandem
Building this great pyramid
A myriad of hope
Block by block
Carried by our journey to discover new lands
Off the shores of collective success
Some higher than others;
All in it.
With smiles
And parties
Tears and fears
Winding along and around
Working intensely
Loving concepts, people, food
It was just good business
They say...

3 years on
Time sweeps our intricate
Fast paced
Warped and winning
Bodies and brains
Under, once more,
The same old roof -
Oh my, how things have changed

Those men who were ringing the bells
Calling the shots
Trail scandals behind them
Like pieces of toilet paper
Still attached to their shiny, worn out shoes
Are we a pleasant reminder of a band of brothers in arms
A loyal family of resilient workers
Who played a note or two in your orchestrated dream?
Rather I fear
It’s much the opposite
Although we were greeted like old friends
With lopsided smiles of nostalgia
In the pit of my stomach
(The one you used to feed)
It just seemed like we were evidence of ghostly shame
An unwelcome reminder of a past which tried to swallow them up for dinner
A quiet embarrassment
That knew it did not deserve us
Like a lover who had tried to move on
When we’d decided to move in next door
Sep 2018 · 135
The function of fantasy
Eno Sep 2018
This function to fantasise
What many wonderful inventions and schemes
Problem solving
And creating it offers a human being
Right now
all it’s
Is breaking
Eno Sep 2018
Where my imagination ends and you begin I do not know
It’s probably in the spaces between
The majestic idealistic powers I give to you as one would the protagonist in a book and the pathetic weak minded bore I see through when I’m too tired to give a ****
Too tired of the back and forth
Serving as a mere amusement and confidence boost
Neither embracing nor rejecting
Just stirring everything
Slowly beneath the surface
Sep 2018 · 1.2k
Pain pangs
Eno Sep 2018
Jealousy rises up in me
Like **** to the surface
I try to read a book
But each word fades into the page
Hiding from my fantastical rage
I see no option
But to give up my love.
Jun 2018 · 304
Eno Jun 2018
I am another species
I am nothing special
You would not offer your time to me
Although I’m not sure why
I think sometimes I must be intimidating, intense, incomprehensible
And you must be calm, certain, celebrated
To act the way you do
Although I’m not sure why
Am I more me?
Or you more I?
Blurry, blotchy, blinding lines
Where the edges of my perspective
Meet the perimeter of your lies
Or vice
Quite hurtful
Much harder
To carry on standing tall and strong
When everyone I meet
Makes me feel weird and wrong
An alien, a wanderer, the only one
It makes me leave your party
That picnic in the park
It’s why I leave you watching the TV
Before it breaks my heart
Jun 2018 · 255
Eno Jun 2018
I climbed 2000 feet
To ask the sky
What will become of me
At the peak of a vast and mountainous wilderness
It spoke to me
In all it’s vividity
Streams of golden orange
A brushstroke of clouds spread along the horizon
Like the sea
And it said:
That all which lies beneath us
Mirrors who we do not want to become
And still -
You must not fear the coming day
Because of what the last has done

I ran in a frenzy
From the summit
Down, down to the lake
And as I did I passed
The racing water whipping against
The aged stones in its way
Wide-eyed I gazed
as the ground fell away
And I whispered the question:
How do you find your way?
The waterfall it chuckled and rolled
It rippled and swayed
Having only one thing to say:
The trick is to listen
Out for directions
And then
To trust and to wait

I could not be saved
On this wisdom alone
Hours of solitude have taught me
That I must clamber up many more roads
And gather
To assemble
A home
Made from what the elements have shown me
And what they have yet to behold
So I retreat back
To the cave
Of my soul
Only to daydream of the next time
I can exhale
And escape
Into the solace
Of nature
The real world
Eno Jun 2018
Sometimes you make me feel a little restless
I can see it in your eyes
How you don’t understand
I can’t stay
Sometimes just being there feels wrong
Like you really want me to leave
I can see it in your eyes
And I don’t understand
Just what I’ve done
That’s makes you want rid of me
Sometimes I feel betrayed
All those 5am’s
Spent talking about the future and the past
You were the sunrise for me
But our friendship must have fallen asleep
Oh I miss those times
You look like you’ve already forgotten
Our memories are already rotten
And have joined a compost heap
That now grows negative weeds
With my name
In your bittersweet brain
You’re just so easily swayed
By the ones who shout the loudest
And come to you
But now I’ve gone quiet
You don’t look for me
-    And you always said that was your strategy
Well that seems hypocritical to me
Jun 2018 · 221
Revolving loneliness
Eno Jun 2018
Oh stranger, it's nice to meet you
but can you reconcile my mind?
I'm tired of grasping empty hands
that are not mine to find
I know you wanted a friendly chat
something light to pass the time
but if you could help me forgive myself
I think I'll be doing just fine.

I'll sit and talk to the bar stools
Made of harder stuff
than the sticks and mud of my soul
Well that's just tough.
And hope the desperation
To be something else
flies out before I try to
be someone else again.

I stand up on the seat
Shout ------
That I just want anything here
to understand me
and grow
and watch me
check in with me
find the time
to care enough
to want to know what I'm doing
on Saturday days.

I can't make connections with anything
it's all alien
to me.
[Another man walks in]
Oh stranger, it's nice to meet you
but can you reconcile my mind?
Eno May 2018
It's like I've lost you all over again
Before, was when i realised
You were not the mythical King of Everything
my 12 year old brain could see through
the appeals you made to my "maturity"
This is normal
the destruction of the idolised infallible parent
It must come with time.

But now, I have seen.

You have
A faint glimmer

At the parts of you
that look just like me.
I was never sure where certain feelings came from
and my capacity to profoundly know them
Was it you?
I won't know
because you've invited me onto the red carpet
for the premiere of "Who you really are"
and then disappeared again
pulled, what I can see now,
was only a tatty old rug
from beneath my toes
And now
my feet are
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