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Nichelles Eye Jan 2015
Imagine.
the moment where you come face to face
with someone who will control how you feel
from now on.

You just know.
You know that this person will affect you
no matter how heavy your fists
will try to fight back.

Fight the fact that you want to see what it feels like.
That you can try to lie to yourself
and not believe it for a second.

Imagine.
Slowly punching the denial with one hand
trying to reach for a heart with the other

How can a being cause you to fight with yourself
about what is right and wrong
knowing how you truly feel

The feeling started at a slow and ripping rate
it grew and grew with the denial you threw
it had no chance against the rawness of this being's affect on you

You let it grow faster the more you dodged it
the more you ran the more it played Michael Myers
and appeared right behind you
when you thought the coast was clear

Imagine.
imagine no longer dodging

You keep still this time and let it hit you back
with the most powerful hit of intense friction

It creeps into your body
flows through your veins
chills your core

theres no such thing as butterflies
you hold falcons in your stomach

imagine.
accepting the thing that scared you the most

and it turned out
this intenseness only affected you

that this feeling caused you to invest
and the reciprocation was empty handed

that the fists you fought to share this feeling
were completely empty

there was no beating heart that you could grasp
and yours was no longer beating in your chest
  Jan 2015 Nichelles Eye
Rochelle R
I wish I could stop all the time around me.
But keep moving, myself.
So I could have time.
And see it all.
And get better.
And know what to do.

It's not an option.
So I have to do these things
while everyone keeps moving.
Which makes it all more complicated.
And confusing.
And hard.

Please know I hear your offers for help.
And appreciate them.
But I cannot accept.
Helping me is just not something that will actually help me.
I have to sort this,
with out anyone else.

But...
It's so loud.
And Oh!
It's too much.
The white interference.
A symphonic cacophony.
And I'm just more (and more)
lost than before.
Caught in a tide.
Frantic to hide.
Drowning.
And I want to stop.
Breathing.

Yours,

Trouble
  Jan 2015 Nichelles Eye
Nessa dieR
You sometimes wish
You had a rewind button?
*Second chance?
Time to say :

         "It's become too much
          It's time to move it on
          I've been here way too long
          Enough now is enough"

Time to set my sights :

         "On where I need to be
          On the things I've got to do
          On the inner fuel that
          Drives my soul to free"

Time to set my sails :

         "And cross that sea
          To my island Paradise
          To stand on the sands and shore
          I will , I will , I will , be free
Nichelles Eye Jan 2015
Amazing.

Amazing how a human being can be the reason to your sanity or insanity

To drive you insanely happy or crazy, you never thought it would be you right, how can it be?

It seems so much more simpler to watch the idea of love to someone else's vision

You go from low to high to high to low, your butterflies grow then go, your temperature has risen

Get yourself prepared for the roller coaster of the dose of another human beings presence

You'll learn a thing or two, from the deadly feeling of the unwanted turn of events and their lessons

You have no idea what you're in a ride for, get on, go high, go toss and turn upside down

You'll laugh, you'll scream you'll fear for your life and your stomach will torture round and round

Leading to starved insides from the lack of the dose you so desperately need

Your eyes will get too heavy to close  for it all to be over as you plead

To get off, to please be over, you can't take anymore, its too much, no mas no mas

Its frightening to know how much you lack of self control for this ride, keep your fingers crossed

Will you make it? Will it be worth it? Can you make it through it to the end?

It slows down after a while, the craziness settles down until you let it begin again

You're off, you made it, the drops of your insides switch off and you feel empty

It wasn't that bad, even more so knowing you could do it, its so tempting

To try it again. And again, you crave to get on once more.

The roller coaster of another human being can excite or scare you to the core.

There's nothing else like it, its a powerful drug that can cause us to deplete

To look back at an end or beginning with the thought of it as a victory or defeat.
Nichelles Eye Jan 2015
She
She…

Is...


Constantly searching for answers. Constantly questioning surroundings…..places…things.

Always curious.

Always distracted.

Mind bobbling and rattling with ideas. Ideas that come and go. But ones that never really stick.

She desires attention.

She’s not sure what kind. Just any kind.

She reaches out to people for validation of herself without knowing. For comfort.

Beautiful.

Wandering, sparkling brown eyes. Full lips. Bright smile. Lights up her face.

Upbeat.

In small ways and big ways.

Talented.

That’s scattered in different things. Poetic in certain emotions that are expressed.

Anxious.

For everything. Anything.

Aching for change. But changing nothing.

Excitement.

She shows. She likes.

Naive.

Her eyes light up to new things. Growing more curious. Unaware of consequences.

Unknown.
To others. Herself.

Stuck.

In her mind. In her expectations. In her demons. In her betrayal. In her regret.

She.

Is……

Yearning.

For self assurance. Accomplishments.

Guidance.

I…
Want to…


Show her realization. Reality. Art.

Beauty.

In herself. In her talent. In her aspirations.

Patience.

In her skills. In her growth. With her mind. With her future.

Peace.

Within herself. With her past. With her doubts.

Show her that….


She…
Is….

A Diamond in the Rough.

That she has to fall down. To get back up.

To brush herself off. To want to keep going.

On one path at a time…with one foot at a time.

To stop running.

In her mind. With her thoughts. With her feelings. With her analysis of herself.


That it is ok…

to move slow. To take her time. To perfect her craft. With one desire at a time.

She…

Is…

A work of Art that requires time.


She….

is….

Beautiful.
Self doubt exists due to insecurity due to comparing yourself to how you think you should be. Find beauty in yourself despite your self doubt. Tell that voice in your head to ****.
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