Synesthesia is a neurological condition in which information meant to stimulate one of your senses stimulates several of your senses.

It was a normal Sunday
A normal dinner with a friend
We had come to know one another
Over the course of a couple years
Through often fractured conversation
When I arrived she sat at a table just inside the front door
Flowing curly locks a fire red,
Eyes that made the sky look dull.
Immediately, my mind began to race…
What if she’s not who I think I know,
What if I’m not who she believes she knows?
What if we don’t connect the way I had come to expect?
I take my seat, we order a drink
Without hesitation I fill our table with my noise...
Speaking, Explaining, Asking…
Hoping, I can drown out the noise in my mind
In the midst of what I can only explain as babble
She looked up, she smiled, she spoke…
At this moment, time slowed…
As she opened her mouth words didn’t simply come out
They flowed like a gentle river,
Caressing every surface in blues, purples, pinks.
An overwhelming calm,
As the world came alive bursting in color
In that moment I knew I needed to know every part of her
In that moment this had become more,
Than a normal dinner with a friend
This would never again be a normal Sunday

Step inside from the storm,
You are safe here.
Please mind the fixtures.
I am told they are unique,
I am told they do not make them like me anymore…
Through these halls you’ll find so many pictures…
Oddly enough I stare for hours,
And I can’t find their smiles
Down those stairs is the basement,
I’ve packed up memories too hard to revisit.
We don’t go down there anymore.
Come sit and talk a while,
I’d light the fire but the flame went out years ago…
I can’t seem to find a spark.
There is a quiet I’ve found peace in,
These walls used to be filled with joy…
But, that laughter doesn’t live here anymore.
If you’d like you can stay,
it’s getting dark soon.
Sadly the only light that stays on,
Is the porch light.
It’s stayed on for years,
In hopes that wandering through the dark,
Laughter finds its way to my front door…
And this time…
Chooses to stay.

You don’t see me.
I mean…
You do… see me.
You see, a warm smile.
You see, direct eye contact,
You see, a quick joke.
You see, a random fact.
You see, us laughing.
You see, “Why do you even remember that?”
You see, confidence.
You see, certainty.
You see, a shoulder to lean on.
You see, an ear to listen.
You don’t see, drowning.
You don’t see, shrinking as you walk away.
You don’t see, a mountain’s climb to simply get out of bed.
You don’t see, doubt.
You don’t see, fear.
You don’t see, being alone in a crowd.
You don’t see, lingering on every word.
You don’t see, “What did they really mean by that?”
You don’t see, a plea for help.
You don’t see, no self-worth.
You don’t see, gray days.
You don’t see, lost.
You don’t see… me.