A house that breaks down upon my back
A life I’m willing to give for it
Rotten columns with support that they lack,
but how I raise my arms in support of It.
Crooked little place that I call my own
How I love you for your imperfections
For you contain hidden beauty within your bones
A Fierce independence that resists alterations
Crawling rats that rob my pantry daily
they are the only company that I know.
Spite and hatred towards them is plenty
But fear of quiet solitude is a greater blow.
Bring in foreign guests full of presents
only to have them hurt my home
Empty boxes and hungry pockets
Make me wish I was here all alone
A solid but divided foundation under me
Creates hidden cracks upon the structure
Why I cannot fix what I cannot see
But must tear it all down in hope of a better future
I question my freedom of will
as my actions feel controlled by a cosmic puppeteer
I do not know why or what future awaits me
But every action seems controlled by logic of some degree
The movement of cosmic giants
Can be measured by certain variants
My thoughts and emotions are predicted
By doctors of the mind telling me “it’s scripted
Within every individual by evolution
Of ancestors that were blinded by illusions
That there was more to this world than the physical
Such as gods and tales that were mythical”
My behavior and desires are constrained by a society
Which I must please to the fullest of my ability
Telling me how to act how to be and what to wish for
But it seems it’s never enough and demand more
So when I’m sitting still in this moment in time
I’ll write my thoughts and worries and express that I’m fine
To be controlled or not is an unanswerable question
So even if I were in chains from my actions and interactions
I’ll be content as long as that puppeteer
Makes me different from anyone near
I dreamt of a house on a hill.
A gentle gaze looked through the window
And a sound of the sweetest tune filled
The scenery from a flute’s blow.
The image of an aged adventurer fulfilled
With his journey ends as the dreamer grows.
The man on the cliff they say
Looks upon the future
For his sight reaches everything
Like the sun’s rays.
A soul born outside of nature
Could only explain such a being.
His eyes are deep and keep at bay
Future events that he captures.
The ignorant come to him and offer rings
for answers, but they must remain away
For he dislikes any company or nurture.
A long time ago as I am recalling,
I disobeyed came close and asked to play
He did not turn and instead said “fortune”
I did not understand what I was hearing
So he turned and with eyes that were tearing
yelled with saddened anger “torture”
With fear, I ran away for I was a child that day
But I now understand his words of lecture
he was answering what you’re currently desiring
And responded to how is it like to see his way.
It came like a flash
A candle so bright it blinded me.
At once a sunset grew within my eyes
So beautiful and free.
Knowing it would burn out
I greedily stared into its flames.
Until my sight became clouded
By the dancing red dames.
In darkness I felt a warmth
More vivid than any sight
True beauty is not seen
But feeling gives true light
Impossible colors appeared
Among the newly formed shadows
Painting a scenery
More beautiful than golden meadows
Joy fills my heart now and forever
as tears ran down like flowing cascades
It left in a flash
A candle that now fades
— The End —