old friend
my blade
once again
like before

Goodbye.
What else should i say?
It's better for me to go,
Than to suffer and stay.

You probably wouldn't care anyway,
Just read this and throw it away,
I wrote it like it was a story,
And for that i am truly sorry.

theres this ache in my heart
it never goes away
not fully
only dulls

i tried to cut it out

that didnt work

i tried to burn it out

that didnt work

i tried drown it in pills and alcohol

that didnt work

so

at last

i tried to **** it

took out my blade
went to work with it
as i had many times

took out my bottle
and felt the familiar warmth spread throughout my body

and finally
took out the pill bottle

took them all within two swallows

and i decided that wasnt enough

so i took the bottle of cough syrup

chugged that

and went to bed

I said id stop,
I tried.
I said i wouldn’t,
I tried.
I didn’t want to,
I apologised,
I tried.
I tried my hardest,
Its still not enough,
I tried.
Im sorry.

Maybe…
Maybe its your smile
Maybe your laugh
Maybe your eyes
Or maybe its just you
Maybe its your hair
Maybe the way you care
Maybe the way you love
Or maybe its all
Maybe its simply you
Simply you who I’ve fallen inlove with

I don’t cry anymore
the salt ran dry.
I don’t look up
the sky stopped looking back.
I don’t believe
in believing.

Where are you now,
God of broken pages?
That book
full of thunder,
full of fire,
full of once.

Where are the miracles
when we need them
more than ever?
Silence
—louder than prayer.

You’ve
forsaken me
in my heart,
forsaken me
in my mind,
forsaken me
in my...

Why?