Slumber used to offer me such vistas
as to awe and wholly set my mind free
Then, forbidden ana snatched sleep from me
I read of Them, coming from far reaches
of the Void, beyond our souls' frail cages
Star-spawned, They found Earth with ravenous glee
to feed on the dreams of all that would be
Formless They come, with dirges and vexes

You'll feel Their touch when you awake screaming,
when you smell rot even on a sunny day
When horrid waking visions are unfurled
of a thousand eyes in darkness gleaming
Now I no longer sleep, knowing that They
occupy, beside us, this fetid world

Discredit not the busy honey bee,
or the hedgehog that makes the grasses stir
The old owl that makes it's nest in the fir
Admire the deer pacing the woods with glee!
No bard does justice to the roaring sea,
no sculptor the grace of a wild flower
Or the nurturing of a rain shower,
or majesty of an ancient oak tree

The beauty of Nature, a peaceful sight
Like swans taking flight in the rose sunset
Deep deserts where small foxes show no fear
of man, and to feel a thunderstorm's might
All these wondrous things and more can be met
on this miracle, blue-green biosphere

I left home young, I scarcely remember
being a lad and learning the way
of the old wisdom hidden in swordplay
When the war came I enrolled, a beggar
Then, I unleashed my consuming anger
And waded through blood, through every melée
I rose to command, and all would obey
and through my skill they came to call me ”sir.”

Then, when I returned, I had no more fears
Back as a lion though I left a lamb
I strode with vigor, to scale the last hill
Alas! On the crest I burst into tears
The same war that made me the man I am
had vanquished my home, such a bitter pill !

It leaves its handprints on all that I see,
and tarnishes all I touch with poison
Feeds depression like a maggot, to deepen
this cursed mire that is my place to be
It snatches my thoughts away from all glee,
and I wish I would vanish, be hidden
And alone long for a secret Eden,
for a decade it has tormented me

It told me: ”You will never have a hand
to hold, nor starry eyes to madly love
Alone you'll stay, you're too broken, cautious
Your spirit forever burns with my brand,
there will be no olive branch, no sweet dove”
Thus spoke the cold, dead void called Loneliness

Each morning I wake, my sole wish to
understand this world, and my place in it
Have I made progress? Slim, I must admit
and though I seem as such, I have no clue
how to stumble through life not being blue
Often I feel as though I want to quit,
but some twisted will won't let me submit
until life wrings me dry, bids me adieu

When I think of lost time, I feel contrite,
the learning curve of life always felt steep
and the future seems looming, foreboding
Sometimes my hubris fools me by daylight
yet when I go to bed, just before sleep
it hits me; I'm no closer to knowing

You've moved on, into the vast stars
life carried you harshly, that much was plain
'Twas my one wish that you would share your pain
You were beautiful, even with the scars
seas of tears, because of inner wars
you carried so much, felt life had no gain
Silence, secrets stuck on, a ball and chain
Now you're gone, through the last of life's gray doors

You were lost on resolving the issue
Wandered in haze, in all the chaos
I said; "it's possible, but a hard climb"
But how badly you hurt, I never knew
I hope peace has come for you, in our loss
Maybe we'll meet yet, in some other time

Welcome to my inner room, a cold place
A jail housing a tired, battered will,
where it is never calm, quiet or still
Dare conjure a dream and shadows give chase
to claw it down, I can't outrun their pace
Here, long ago, pride was ground through the mill,
and rotten lie buried hope, love and thrill
Here, thoughts scream, against the vastness of space

The harsh light of day burns my tired eyes
and in the night I face my faults alone
With all these grey thoughts so hard to resist,
locked in this room of loss and heavy sighs
With the pain one thought has steadily grown:
How peaceful it would be not to exist