A boat
I'm not good enough
The ocean I see no shore
Grown mad, the boat is stuck
Between cracking in half
And not
Peace followed by chaos
Dancing in a deadlock
Like Yin and Yang
Grown mad, the man is stuck
Between dying
And not
The man is not me
I'm watching him become me
Living is beautiful
I'm stuck between its beauty and
The beauty of its ugliness
What is supposed to happen now?

Here in the wasteland
Swarming
Cold
Gazed with locked doors
The shadows of your frail body
Scared me
Imminent contagion
The land opened its mouth
To swallow the town
I would've felt bad for the mayor
If he had treated us with an ounce of respect
Our dry throats singing broken tones
Like a detuned string
Air comes out foul and distorted
The hymns were sang and
The souls ripe with hope
Danced
Instinctive motion
Of the universe
Laughed
My gaze was extinguished

The most bitter
A bad tasting fruit
Too rare and rich
Unholy and otherworldly
Grows beneath a toxic soil
Lives at the heart of thorns
Bathes in the rays of a black sun
Drinks the bloods of the fallen ones
Comes from nowhere
Serves no purpose
Exists solely to defy the unwritten rules
Exists only to scry the departed souls
A peak into the void that is unseeable
Eaten by those depraved and miserable

The truth of the world is hidden in its seeds

I look back
Nothing

Concepts orbiting in an isolated space
The empty air smells like uncertainty
Droning like distant dissonant shouts from outer space
A train of meaningless code flows life-likely
Through a pit in my stomach
The darkest black hole is an orb made of heaviest matter possible
Condensed and concentrated nothingness
It's track is not set on a straight line
Neither is it blurry
It's thin and wiggly
It's cut to a thousand pieces
Scattered through time and space
And I have built an empire upon it called life
And I know it will crumble under its own weight
Spires
Spikes of life called memories soar high on a brittle foundation
And at the core
Overloads and explodes
A single node
Overthinking and overheating until it blows
Functions recursively until it breaks
Nothing flows

I look back
Still nothing

While plucking petals from the calendar
The asphalt still smells the same
The moon still shines sideways
And the green of trees is stale

While plucking petals from the calendar
The smoke still smells the same
Shadows still dance in alleyways
And the artificial light is faint

While plucking petals from the calendar
Liars still paint their tongues like peacocks
Colorful words still remain feather light
And a dead light is still bright at night

While plucking petals from the calendar
The days keep getting more and more slender
Hours are condensed into a jumbled cluster
And the ashes of past still smoulder

What would happen
If a giant eye suddenly
existed in the sky
Watched us through its
bottomless iris?

What would happen
If the same giant eye
Suddenly started melting
And rained its moist mucus
On our frail beings?

What would happen
If eyes sprouted
From the mucus that
watered our body?

The eyes
Would serve as a crime
Against nature
But who are we
To define nature
What is nature to begin with?

What would happen
If the world changed
Beyond our control?

Nothing

We either die
Or we co-exist

Confined within for seventeen never-ending years
Greeted every morning by its hollow disgusting sneer
Cutting fingers trying to peel off the layers of this theater
Getting stabbed and kicked in the head again, death is near

Another day, lost in the space
Feeling more and more alien
Piercing the days like a warrior
Have my head cut off a thousand times
Another day, losing my own face
Smells more and more my carrion
Peering through this barrier
Have my body buried a thousand miles down the earth

Existence does not mean belongingness

It's seeping under my skin
Dancing in nothingness between
Flakes
Irreplaceable beauty of harmony
Even with disgusting oily
Flakes
Feels like a drunkard
Living the spring in fall
While it's falling flakes
Flakes of life, flakes of distress
Disappearance of a mandatoriness
It's seeping under my skin
The toxicity of uncertainty
Blindingly bright enlightening
Yet destructively disappointing
Like a cold shower of frustration
Like a suppressed determination
Fakely exhilarating
But depressing in practice
A resonating unreliability
They itch
Stalk you to death
Stuck in a death bed
Going eternally downhill
Still though they're
Still beautiful
Dancing among the flakes

On the tides I ride
Black water splashing on my mind
This ocean I surf is endless
Pain and joy are separated with seconds

Earth was meant to be all water

I surf with a camera
Its black and white filter will portray the truth
I surf with a pen and a brush
The black canvas of my brain is a portrait of truth

Earth was meant to be all water

And sometimes I wish I could let myself drown
Instead of convincing myself to be a sophist with sophistry
I have not a death wish
But how easy it is to be sleeping forever under the sheets

Earth was a flaming ball before it became all water
Will I live to see the same salvation for my flaming soul?

I kept reaching further
Further down and deeper
Into my soul
Scratching
For bits of gold
Scratching from inside
Hacking off small pieces of life
Excavate cravingly
Hungry for a piece of myself that meant something
A piece that was worth something
So I could exchange it for forbidden pleasures
Scratch and scrape everyday
Wounding and eating like a pig, any day
Rainy or foggy
Blue or yellow
I scratched and degraded
Until nothing remained
but a shadow
An empty husk
that was once I
Remains
Remnants of myself

Shaparak's flying too close to the candle
Film is paused
The memories die when the cinema is caught on fire
The tapes lie when a black cloth veils the lens
The eyes blind on purpose when a soul caught on fire
Is taunting your dependence on your fragile life
Do you love yourself more or your children or your wife?
The choice is yours, who's gonna be set on fire?
The choice is yours, will you fly close to the fire?
The sun is a lie, it's just an cognitive illusion
The life malformed, an unholy fusion
The moon is hung from the gallows of the sky
Taunting the fragile existance of life with a faint still smile

There's a before, and there's an after
There's an in-between, which is a hell
There's an anti-in-between, which is void
There's something before a before, which is birth
There's something after an after, which is death
There's an in-between between birth and death
Which is the same in-between between before and after
It is called life, it is called hell
And there's no heaven anywhere

Death
Starts with panic
Ends with never-ending peace
Dying
Will grant you access
Pain
Will fill your absence

I am orbiting Saturn
Bathing in an unholy calm
Digesting the universal justice
Finding peace in my untimely demise
I drift in the ocean of void
A worm hole ******* the time out of my soul
The black lotus of the world unfolds
Everything happening before hasn't happened before
Relatively nothing means anything anymore

His feet trembling
And my tongue sticking out
His breath numbered
Ant dancing in my hand

My blood too sweet
Heart wrinkled in cold sweat
Cold gaze on his face as
I constantly made him fret

His heart too sweet and
His blood to sour for my tongue
These ants too sour for
The blood on my palm

This skin too pale for
The radiance in his eyes
This chest too open
For someone to hide inside

Gave me his heart he who
Had none for himself
Took my blue heart and
Stuffed it into his chest

My eyes shift into focus
His chubby face is too dumb
The subway station too cold
My skin was too numb

The gentle spring breeze cuddles and caresses your skin
Sun bathes its light in the sea
And beyond the clouds lies the god's grin
To not be buried in all these pleasures
Is a sin

As the demons are born from metal pipes

The trees dance with the wind until their necks break
Sun bathes its light in the dirt
And beyond smoke and gas lies god's wake
Let us bury ourselves in all this pleasure
For our sake

As the demons are born from artificial volcanoes
Warm and filled with fiery toxins
Earth has evolved into a stranger form
And we were but an echo

Feel helpless
Ask for help
From the figureless man
Supposing he resides
Somewhere in the sky
With a giant
Helping hand
That only comes into existence
When you decide
When you feel your most selfish
When you cling most
To your meaningless life
Next time
Don't ask
Break the paradigm
Accept your fate
And die

Savor the metallic taste of truth
The melancholic chromatic haze of vertigo rushing to your head
As you see you've been stuck in a cell all along
The beautiful uncertainty of a prisoner is hiding at weird angle hard to see
I'll be stuck in this cell for a while so i might as well color its walls pink
I have no windows but i can dream of fresh air
Things only a simple mind can get, it's only fair
Tragedy written all over it and that's why my life is bare
I have tried to separate my mind from the time
Not knowing I'm already stuck in moving forwards with times
So i might as well let the waves carry me onward
And language is just meaningful emptiness for a coward