I want to see your smile,
Share your happiness for awhile.
I wanna be your hero,
But always been a zero.
Tired of being just like myself,
Tired of reading those books off a shelf.
Want to live my story, my life,
Never be boring, in strife.

Numbers do not lie,
Simply quantify.
Equations do not feel,
Can't make them a deal.
Digits do not care,
They are simply there.

Social recluses, We only met to dance tarantella.
secluded away one night in a dark cellar,
I was captivated as she taught me the steps,
From that moment she had me trapped in her web
Her body was poison to the eyes,
the way she bit her lip had me paralyzed.
As she had me wrapped in her thighs
my hips moved like i had been hypnotized
I asked if she loved me with a sigh
a kiss goodbye was her reply.
This woman will be the death of me
and her name was arachne

lust for summer blues
trust in someone's truths
cluster of sunny views
busting out sudden clues
bluster over pumpkin stew
dusting off sullied suits
fussing over dulling shoes
gushing over sunday news

Here I’ve just been doing the same thing,
Over and over, just another gear in a clockwork world.
Wishing that I’d never heard you sing,
Over and over, music playing like a broken record.

I want to break it all apart,
Take every single piece and polish them until they shine,
Maybe they could light up my heart,
And finally convince me that everything will be fine.

Making our way through with wide open eyes,
with closed hearts, crossed swords.
Not telling the truth, not telling lies.
made no ties since cutting the cord.

With a tongue of steel, sharp and cutting,
asking for nothing, giving nothing.
Angry at them all, proud and strutting,
acting like the world owes them something.

Sing to me o darling please,
A song of when we’ll be together.
Sing me a sweet song of love,
of a day that never comes.

I’d sing to you, love of mine,
but there’s no music to my words.
Your voice is like an angel’s,
I’m too bitter to sing so sweet as you.

Blue in the sky, blue in the sea,
'Twixt them's the blue hidden inside me.

Falling out in the form of my tears,
They’ve shown themselves through all these bad years.

And when it rains, sometimes it drizzles, sometimes a storm.
A crack of lightning and thunder and my world is torn.

It’s less than you think, more than you know
Don’t let everyone else shine while you barely glow

This life is more than just a fiction,
It’s not belief, not just addiction.

What a disappointing waste it would be
If you’re looking for more than you can see,

Take hold of what you can feel,
Even if it hurts, you can heal.

You can’t have regrets if you don’t look back,
Learn as much as you can, still won’t know jack.

Unless I say something with conviction,
Better not speak a single word.
Having an opinion is an affliction,
Best that I went unheard.

The contentious masses choke on opinions.
Coughing, suffocating and spitting.
Each side disseminates their dominions.
Every "fact"-spewer unremitting.

Every one of them a man of straw,
Ablaze with righteous zeal.
So many blind to their own flaws,
Proclaim the same old spiel.

There's no room for fence-sitters,
no gray area or neutrality.
Dead men are the only quitters,
of this black and white morality.

Step up and say your piece,
And someone will find reason to **** you.
Otherwise, rest in peace,
Because you can't escape their petty feud.

Our everyday blends together
becoming a mess
gathering dust.

Everything’s the same,
nothing ever changes,
nothing happens.

I’ve figured it out,
what life needs,
My Answer.

Life needs ups and downs,
can’t just let it plateau,
That’s what you learn from the EKG monitor

They say there’s plenty of fish out there in the sea,
Shame I’m stuck without a fishing rod.

No, I’m no catch and that’s plain to see, lil’ old me,
Shame I’m so far from blessed by God.

I’m a rowboat among yachts and freighters.
And there’s no strange taste to which I cater.
I’m no master baiter,
or am I?

In the Atlantic they’re shooting me down,
In the Pacific they all only frown,
They say no man’s an island but what about boys?

And God I wish I didn’t feel so very alone,
But I’ve no shooting stars, no luck, a broken wishbone,
I suppose I’ll just drown out all this whiny noise.

You’re the closest thing to an angel,
That I’ve ever seen.
Feeling more like I’m in a living hell,
Than I’ve ever been.

Because I can’t bear to be near you,
Knowing I’m just no good.
Always wondering what I should do,
I never understood.

if i end up a coma patient,
give me a split second cremation
for the fire that burns the brightest
burns the quickest
And charge people tickets
make the event the biggest
bonfire festival and witness
my wonderful photo finish
I might not have been able to live life to its fullest,
but I was never worried about doing things I knew i couldn't.

deep below the crashing waves
that crush the apostles into cliffsides
and way past underwater caves
inhabited by mysterious sealife
somewhere below there are fools' graves
drowned by invisible riptides
And the ocean consumes their remains
indifferent to their demise

and though the living die
the killers still make their living
Even stealing tears from their eyes
the cold depths have no misgivings
And without a chance to say goodbye
The heart of the sea is unforgiving

I want to do something like I mean it,
but I only ever believe something if I seen it.

I want to say something nobody has ever heard,
but how? Everybody's using the same words.

I want to feel like I'm more than nothing,
but I've never even done anything.

I want to live without any regrets,
but I know what all that wanting gets.

I need to stop only sitting and wanting,
But trying to change is so daunting.

"Everything will be alright,
If I could just see you tonight..."

But how can I be so sure?
Doubts questioning from the core.

No, I don't need any sunlight,
to see that this isn't quite right.

But oh, she makes my heart soar,
Heart's saying, don't shut that door.

Oh I'll be the ruin of me,
Just wait, Soon enough you'll see.

Yeah, soon the cracks'll start to show,
Because I just can't let go.

Now, see how stupid it is?
I really should just quit this.

It’s about what I want you to see,
when you’re looking at me.
It’s about what I want you to say,
Something more than just ‘hey’.

So look past the empty smile,
notice we haven’t made eye contact for a while.
Hear more than what I’m saying,
Notice how little attention I’ve been paying.

If this is only a dream,
then let me sleep a little longer.
Escaping loneliness,
in night-time imaginings.

It's closing time,
and I haven't another dime.

This empty glass
and I haven't got any class.

So why'd you come sit next to me?

Haven't you got somewhere to be?

Someone just a little better,
Could get you a little wetter.

That doesn't matter right now,

Cause I ain't holier than thou.

But I haven't got any class,
lain on the grass.

But I haven't done a crime,
Still feel like grime.

this **** ain't free

telling me **** is abundant, low quality
dealers catcalling across the streets constantly
contrary I'm a bit of an oddity because

this **** ain't free

telling me **** is low value, high quantity
i may be made in china but I'm not available so commonly.
Don't worry about money,
I'll never be broke, don't need a warranty.
my only struggle is making our ends meet.

this **** ain't free

don't try to explain the inequality of the dichotomy between our biology like it's simple economy of two commodities
I don't want an apology, I'm out, don't talk to me but forget about a return policy

Tell you what I do for a living,
Just keep taking and never giving.

Tell my dad I’ll never forgive him,
for this cursed gift he has given.

This life, this will, and this sin,
A twisted game I can’t win.

I can be the last man to fall in,
doesn’t change that I’ll still have fallen

So what if the world is going to hell,
you won’t mind burning if you liked the smell.

Maybe I’m a bad guy, I don’t really know,
Just take what I can and go with the flow.

Fingers dancing, tango with the pencil,
Like Mozart at his piano, a new concerto.
Words flowing from his fingertips,
Black on white and a coffee stain in the corner.

This story, finishing, coming to a close,
Another day come and gone.
A smile upon his lips, triumph in his mind,
words to sentences to paragraphs and soon the story ends.

Then, a new page, a new story.
He hesitates,
He pauses,
He stops.

Then a bee sting, a bell’s ring
Inspiration strikes, a giant’s left hook.
The dam breaks and a black river flows.
Black on white, the pristine page soiled.

I hurt myself today,
I wondered what’s the deal.
don’t matter what I say,
Nobody cares how I feel.

I cut myself today,
Feeling pain that’s real.
Wash bad thoughts away,
Mental scars don’t heal.

I feel the blood on my face,
but the pain has disappeared.
All these cuts cannot erase,
What has always been right here.

I walked out in the rain,
To see if it felt real.
Maybe it could wash away,
All the pain that I feel.

flies circlin as i'm breathing in smog
gravel in my throat making me choke
with a voice that sounds like a bullfrog
I tried calling for help but just croaked.

If all my lies were miles my tongue could pave tiles on a path all the way from  home to heaven or hell
I must have come off course where the road forks, no time for remorse, oh well.
Call me silvertongued i could make monks buy trunks full of ladders with no rungs, but i've got nothing left to sell.

and the devil could do just as well

it doesn't matter now,
however much i wish and pray,
or vow that I'd go a different way,
I keep inching forward every day but I think I've gone astray.

And I long for a place to stay,
somewhere i belong,
I hope to find it someday.
But it's not today.

I hope your phone dies and you lose your charger
I hope you get a bad haircut from your barber
I hope you get splashed by a passing truck
and after you get **** on by a duck
I hope your **** gets stuck
when you're ******* and zip up
I hope you confuse milk for bleach while eating your breakfast,
at least your white teeth will finally please the dentist
hope they switched your panadol for cyanide at the chemist
and nobody minds at all because who'd cry for a public menace?
I hope a car drives off the asphalt
and hits you while you walk
and nobody even stops to gawk.
and as you're dying, crows start to flock,
pecking your eyes out as they squawk
because it's all your fault
that my love is living in chalk
outlines on the sidewalk
and I tell you that every that time we talk

I know you know exactly how much I hate you
if you wanted to die I wouldn't dissuade you
don't bother saying sorry we know it's too late to
but they tell me that I really shouldn't blame you
because it's all my fault
that my love is living in chalk
outlines on the sidewalk
and I tell you that every time that we talk

Come and take my hand,
Feel my pulse racing.
Can’t you understand?
You’re my everything.

Need to stay by you,
No mistaking it.
Don’t you feel it too?
It’s too late to quit.

I’ll keep on talking,
Confessing all day.
You’ll keep on walking,
walking far away.

Today I awoke
with a broken heart.
Hardly even spoke,
Just felt torn apart.

Tonight I now know,
Better than before.
I learnt to let go,
And to feel no more.

I can’t rip through these bindings,
maybe it’s myself I’m finding
That’s in my way

So I just keep on fighting,
The hate inside I’m inciting
It’s in my way.

In my head there’s a war being fought,
Contradictions, self-loathing in every thought.
Don’t get in my way.

I find it hard to sleep at night,
Wishing you were here with me.
Finding it hard to see the light,
Wishing I could make you see.

I thought it was love at first sight,
But you just don’t feel the same,
So how can I make things right?
Is it my fault? Am I to blame?

feverish scrawling writing in tongues
speaking in fingers
eyes blind to the outside world
mind's sight fixed on a familiar girl

who are you
you already know my name
I'm confused
you only have yourself to blame
leave me alone
I know you'll be easily tamed
please stop this
I'll teach you to love this game

I wake to the pain of pencil splinters
and a poem ended with bloodied fingers.
washing my handsin the sink
I need a moment to think
I need a breather
drown myself in water
muddled, all my thoughts are.



eyes open to the outside world
I check my reflection
eyesight catches a familiar girl
are you ready your lesson

I won’t dance like some puppet,
Strung up on hopes and expectations.
This show’s just started,
But it feels like it’s already gone on too long.

Nobody’s there to hold me up
I’ve got so much weight to carry.
The past and its disappointments,
Holding me back, holding me down.

In this dark, murky sea,
My anchor drags me down, deep under.
Drowning in the reality of it all,
Dying as I live, there’s no escape.

I fell so in love with a girl like you,
She talked to me when I was feeling blue.

Feels so long ago, when she smiled at me,
Thinking of her, she’s like a fantasy,

To me, reality couldn’t compare,
The thought without her, I just couldn’t bear.

So most every moment was torment,
You never understood what it meant.

Nothing else mattered, just her, don’t you see?
But then I became the worst kind of me…

So what if I’ve fallen in love again?
Doesn’t take away meaning from the first time.
Does it matter that I’ve found love again?
Doesn’t mean that before I had felt a lie.

Do I even feel like I had back then?
I don’t care, I like the way she makes me feel.
So I guess I’ll say I’m in love again,
After all, my heart’s had enough time to heal.

She's perfect
An unrelenting pervert
A taste of lemon sherbet
On her lips
and my eyes
On her hips

Hide behind the curtains
I'm her slave and she's my servant
We come together in the furnace
She plays tricks
On my mind
As she strips

I'm nervous
Her blade where my nerve is
Stimulation keeps me wordless
I'm herbivorous
She's hypercarnivorous
I'm her prey and she's gonna eat me up
But it's okay because we're in love

"Nothing ever doesn’t change,
But nothing changes much.”
I have always been strange,
But please do stay in touch.

I know I’ve not got much,
But I think it’s enough.
And I don’t need a crutch,
But maybe that’s a bluff

I want you love. No, I need your love.
Cause I’m falling, like a baby dove.
I’ve got no wings,
Nor shiny things.
But aren’t we birds of a feather?
Maybe we could fall together.

Would you kindly
hug me tight
with your hands
around my neck?
Would you kindly spend the night
and comfort this nervous wreck?

Could you show me a smile
while you tell me that I'm trash
Could you insult my lifestyle
without even batting an eyelash

Should you care about garbage like me
your tastes must be perverted
Should I be allowed to feel this happy
honestly, I'm uncertain.

I need you to use your claws
to draw out the blood from my skin
I need you to break through the walls
I built to hide my true self within

I need you to split me open and dig inside
to grasp at my heart if you can
I need you to know the thoughts that I hide
and love the person I really am

The reason I run away, though there’s no place to hide,
Is You.
The reason I feel this pain, killing me inside,
Is You.

What’s wrong with the asking?
I don’t care if you don’t answer.
Spending so long masking,
Thoughts spreading like a cancer.

The sweetest thing, lick my lips, I will never taste,
Dear You.
Cruel little thing, you’re with him, such a waste,
Hate you.

Can’t stop feeling like I’m not going,
Start moving, but everything’s slowing.

Can’t start stopping, now that I’ve begun,
Don’t stop, cause when you do, you’re done.

Everyone else shines, I’m barely glowing,
How far I’ll get, there’s no way of knowing.

It’s like an EKG, hope it doesn’t stop,
Go as fast as you can, go until you drop.

Unfeeling as you stumble through a fog,
What’s history matter, it’s just a prologue.

Did I ever get over you?
Ask what kind of person I am.

Stuck here wondering what to do.
When does a boy become a man?

When you’re smiling, I’m feeling blue,
Where do I find the strength to stand?

Asking questions, still got no clue,
Will nobody give me a hand?

I guess it’s too late for you and me,
I was so deep in love back then….

Sure I fell hard but can’t you see?
That I just got back up again.

I’m going away to be alone,
Taking a little trip of my own up to the moon.

For my sinful mind, I can’t atone,
So I guess I won’t be coming back anytime soon.

Maybe, someday, I’ll look back and smile,
But right now, nothing gets in or out my dark cocoon.

Out here, I cry in silence awhile,
But then my eyes dry, and I remember a tune.

It’s no good, living on the dark side,
Silence is too loud, endless thoughts all mindless shouts.

It seems it’s myself I can’t abide,
Put on headphones, so I don’t have to hear my doubts.

The morning sun looks so bright,
Nothing actually feels quite right.
Birds singing their pretty songs,
They can't ever unmake wrongs.

Waking up to new nightmares,
Where nobody ever cares.
I just want to make them smile,
Seems like I just have to rile.

I can't cheer them up or on,
I don't care, Soon it'll be gone.
Oh, The night can't come too soon.
I've been missing that white moon.

Suddenly, a clap of thunder
tore the night asunder,
and ripped through my troubled mind.

Lightning came soon after,
along with frightening laughter,
Which I realized was mine.

We had always been friends since childhood
and we stayed just as close in highschool
then one day that girl said that she loved me
I guess at that time I felt happy

We still teased each other like before
we started to argue a lot more
and she'd say I should be more manly
I guess at that time I felt angry

I realized too late things might soon end
"maybe we should've just stayed as friends"
she asked me, confirming my worst fear
I guess at that time I shed tears

My other friends came to hear the news
and then offered their own points of view
told me not to let it bother me
I suppose that they felt sympathy

but at that time I just felt empty

Don't look at me with those empty eyes
Don't think of me with your empty mind
Don't flatter me with those empty words
Please don't make feeling empty hurt

It seemed like our eyes only met by chance
but when you smiled and asked me to dance
I've never believed in love at first glance
but something about you had me entranced
and we moved all night to the beating of my heart
and I guess that's where I felt the first spark

I suppose I was blinded by her dancing's wildness
so i asked if she'd like to go somewhere more private
but I was surprised by her sudden shyness
eventually she slowly, coyly nodded in silence
something inside my snapped at that sight
and soon we were kissing by flickering candlelight

I don't remember when we took off our clothes
but the sight of her body was beyond description in prose
I was so enraptured that for a moment I froze
then she drew me close, a faint smell of rose
finally overcome by our desires,
we were making love like wildfire.

but there was no happy end
nothing so romantic
There was no fight
nothing so dramatic
simply returned to friends
something so diplomatic
for that night filled with magic
perhaps it feels anticlimactic
but left with our burnt out passion
all that remained of love were ashes

Today’s a good day,
a day to live
or a day to die.

An ocean resides in the sky,
With rumble and flash it bursts.

And the sky falls in so many pieces,
its tears fall all over the ground.
Crying for each and every one of us,
All our tears, fallen to Earth, again and again.

I didn’t think that the time was right,
And so I made you wait.
But when I thought it would be alright,
By then I was too late.

Be patient, darling, and I will come,
Slow and sure in my way.
Or come take my hand and lead me on,
I’ll follow you all day

Here I am, left wondering,
and wandering.
all alone but for passing shadows.
Walk my own path pondering,
and pandering.
Nod, wave, smile, nobody cares or knows.

I don't feel the same love as before
I don't smile when i see you anymore
I used to show up to dates early
I used to make strange jokes to seem quirky
I used to act perky when i was hurting
because you were flirting
with some other guy and i was worried

you don't feel the same love as before
You don't make time to see me anymore
you've started to flake where you used to be late
texting me it must've been something you ate
then i saw you that same evening at dinner eating
with that guy and you were beaming
I couldn't believe in what I was seeing.
Because you, who gave me meaning, a reason for living, were cheating.
I had trouble breathing
and then suddenly i was fleeing the scene and I was screaming and beating myself until i was bruised and I was bleeding.

We don't feel the same love as before,
I got complacent and you got bored,
while i was still sore from what i just saw
I called you over just to show you the door,
and I'm sure I don't want to see you anymore

Spiders crawling, under my skin,
And I feel like I’m burning.
How can I atone for my sins,
When I still feel the yearning?
Pursued by the mistakes of my past,
chased through dark corridors in my head.
Can’t hide from the shadows they cast,
all these voices screaming that they want me dead.