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Natasha Byrd May 2019
Passing trees and blurring scenery.

Young curious eyes that still glisten upon the sight.

Looking out and seeing land to be explored.

Dreams and futures waiting to be shaped and molded.

Older eyes seeing destruction and grey.

Once righteously built land that crumbled and fell.

Dreams that stayed dreams and resided in people's consciousness.

Two pairs of eyes that are separated by wisdom.

Ignorance is bliss.

Wisdom is forlorn

A light that blazes within the youth that has long since faded in the older.

One looks at the other in admiration and the other in vain.

Wishing to once again see the world in color, to be able to witness the joys of being naive.

Why so quick to grow up?

Why so eager to turn back time?

Two different views yet they wish to trade places.
Natasha Byrd May 2019
I wonder what your smile looks like

No, I already know

I almost forgot because it's been so long

Not the one on display but the one that is genuine

I can't remember the last time you laughed

I miss the sound of your chuckle

The long nights that kept me awake thinking if whether you were going to be okay

Don't think I didn't notice your colors fading

Turing into a darkened black

It's been a long time since we had this talk

Don't hate me

I want you to heal

I reach for you but for some reason you're the hardest to get to

Always so close but so distant

What is this sudden chill

Where did your warmth go

I miss the old you

We only have each other

Oh how tired I am from having the same talk with my own reflection

It was still a good talk, let's do this again

Let's do this together
Natasha Byrd May 2019
They ask me why my tears don't fall.

They wonder why amongst sadness my face is dry.

Who are they to assume my tears fall in the form of clear liquid.

They pour like hot magma that burns boils onto my skin.

A reminder of my ignorance.

“You walked into it.”

“You asked for it.”

The lines of damaged skin that cascade down my cheeks are a reminder.

They got to you.

They broke you.

A broken machine, that's what I've become.

One that needs fixing.

Born with a pair of eyes that leak my sanity.

With every drop falls a piece of my strength.

Pouring and pouring out. More and more by each passing second.

Making me ceasingly more vulnerable.

There's a crack somewhere.

Somewhere within me that I can't reach.

The me I once was seeps out of it.

I become less and less of the me from yesterday.

The me from a second ago, a moment ago.

I walk around leaving drops of myself behind.

I wonder what happens when I run on empty.

Would I disappear into the world that threw me into despair?

Would the evil that was thirsty for my purity come and lap up what's left?

I bind the cells together with the cold.

My heart can't melt and pour out if it's frozen stiff.

The fire of relationships and attractions temp the block of ice to convert to a flow of emotions,but my fears drop my state back to solid.

Oh liquid, how you flow within me.

I question where your loyalty lies

Is it with my head or my heart?

You betray my head when you flow out of my eyes, and betray my heart when you freeze it over.

Bitter sweet liquid can you answer this question,

Why, even though you flow within me, do I feel so hollow and dry inside?
Natasha Byrd May 2019
Standing amongst others, yet we stand alone

My surroundings are darkened by you, a distraction

I constantly envy the wind that gets to touch you

My attention is grasped by the subtle attraction

I long to hear the melody of your voice play

But we only cross paths for a moment

But in that second I'm left clutching my chest

Afraid of the starved predators, the approaching opponents

When you walk past your presence demands my attention

I reach but you're too far to hold

When I see your emotions run cold in your face

It tempts me to comfort you and be bold

I know that my looks aren't meant to stand next to you

But will you blame me for what I feel for you inside

My breathtakingly beautiful distraction

With this love letter to you I say goodbye
Natasha Byrd May 2019
A voice that lingers in the back of my mind. 

No one can hear it but me.

Why is it only me who hears it ?

Why does it always make me sad?

Why does it only tell me bad things? 

People tell me to see the good in life .

But where was the good when everything turned against me?

Why use a razor when I can just listen to my thoughts?

These cuts aren't the type you can put a bandage on.

I want to play with everyone else but the voice stops me.

You're not good enough .

You're not skinny enough.

You're too dark.

Too light.

Too ugly. 

Too big .

Too small.

I try to ignore it but it always comes back.

And I always listen.

It sometimes hurts to always be thinking .

The voice never rests.

Who will hurt me next?

Who will use me like she did?

Who will throw me away like all of them did? 

I wish someone would come along and shut it up.

You can't turn away from your mind.

Every quiet room or every time you're alone it creeps on you.

Feeds on your insecurities and dark thoughts.

Grows on every fear and doubt. 

The voice sounds like me but I know its not me. 

It whispers into my ear and lays a hand on my shoulder. 

It makes sure that I compare myself to everyone else.

That when I look at my reflection, i'm never satisfied. 

Someone, please I beg you to make it stop.

Someone please cover my ears because my arms are too sore. 

Someone please wipe the tears that keep falling. 

I don't ask for much.

I don't want money.

Fame.

Fortune.

Love.

Security.

All I ask for, 

Is silence.
Natasha Byrd May 2019
Who are you

Why does your figure bring pain to my entirety

My hands pass through you like water

You're just a memory I can't quite grasp

A floating image that tugs at me

Your face, blurred by my mind

Afraid to feel again

To let my heart bleed drops of regret

My mind, to once again be tortured in agony

I shiver at the clarity of the once foggy past

Now I know why I ran away from the you in my memory

My body shakes, I convulse within myself

My apologies to you are stuck in my throat stopping my sigh of relief

I wail to your remaining afterimage

Left chasing after a non-existing entity

An angel, now ripped of its wings

A once snow white dress painted in a dark red

Who hurt you, why didn't you tell me

Why do you protect those that tormented you as a source of release

I left you when I thought you were safe

But you returned broken into more pieces than I could put back together

I still bare the scars from when I desperately tried to hold your shattered soul together

Reopened wounds that I willingly let bleed to heal yours

But I was too late to stop you

Not strong enough to bare it all

I'm so sorry

Why did you leave me behind

Why run to a place I can't follow you to

It's okay, I'll see you soon

My toes crinkle as they dangle over the edge

One step separates us

We'll be reunited again my friend

My angel

I'll fly freely, I'll spread my wings to reach you

I can't help the emotions that whell up in my chest

The repulsive emotional ***** that's built up

I scream to the heavens to bless your soul

To save you from your demons

The weaker me steps down from my ****** freedom

My feet reconnected with the Earth

Faced with the people that made you hide your pain

I won't break my promise, we'll meet again

But not today, my sweet angel

Goodbye, for now

In time, I'll be strong enough to welcome your forgiving smile at heaven's gate

Wait for me
Natasha Byrd May 2019
Why can’t they see your pain, Why is it only me?
It feels like both a curse and a blessing to bare witness.

Its like I see that you’re constantly suffocating from your own image.
Bearing the weight of a pain that ***** the life from you like some kind of sickness.

You remind me of something from my past and it's honestly frightening.
It's like looking in a cursed mirror that constantly reminds me of my once committed mistakes.

You seem to be surrounded by a black cloak that won’t allow you to breath.
A hand resting upon your eyes blocking you from seeing the good in yourself no matter what it takes.

You and I both know that the words they say aren’t just a joke to you.
It seems as though they are eating away at what is left of your pride.

Please don’t forget the you that lays deep within your saddened shell.
Sometimes its not a crime to just curl up and cry, don’t be ashamed of your human side.

I’ve lost many people that were swallowed up by their own darkness without a warning.
They slipped through my fingers as I desperately reached for their security.

A desperate cry won’t always be answered.
Some cover their ears and block out the sound for their own sanity.

A crack can be covered up and painted over but in the end its still a crack.
Your pain is never less important, it doesn’t matter if your wounds aren’t as deep.

Here’s a little friendly reminder, pain will always be pain no matter its degree.
So please, I beg you, don’t hide yours from me.
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