I give myself,
I give it all.
You never notice,
No one ever does.
It’s like the more I give,
The more you’ll take.
The more I love,
The more you hate.
I’ll most likely delete this. It’s not my norm.
It seems like pointless rambling. Just need to stop bottling it up before I explode.
Sorry. Hope you enjoy.
Do you ever find yourself infatiouted with others? Not with their body, but with their minds and their story.
Do you ever wonder how they became their present selves? What shaped their being to it’s current state.
Do you ever find yourself sifting through their thoughts? A desperate attempt to learn more about their desires, hopes and dreams.
Do you ever take a step back, to truly understand the caverns left unexplored in their mind? What broke them? What made them?
In a world that has grown superficial, I’m left in a place of teetering exploration. Traveling through the words spoken and those left unsaid. For I wonder, if I learn to understand those around me, those I care about, maybe that depth will ground us into something meaningful. Something worth fighting for.
To have meaning, is to have purpose. That’s what I aim for. It’s what I desire.
My unknowing heart
A future as uncertain as the wind
She speaks too much
I learned too young to never get my hopes up
What will become of me
My tornado of disappointment
It ripped all the flowers from my garden
I need a future as certain as the tides
But I rarely go to the ocean
All the petals that fall from your mouth form a pipe dream
The dead end tunnel I reside in
I built a little garden at my feet
Ill try and use the new petals to build a way out
I have a passion to give.
A passion to inflict love onto others.
A passion to become the best.
However, as the time peels by, the passion churns into an obsession. An obligation.
I must help others.
I must love others.
I must be the best.
The time keeps ticking, and even though I’m barely keeping my head above these flood of emotions, I must be this ideal, “passionate” person.
I can’t keep up.
What have i become? These self-made obligations are killing me.
I’ve become obsessed with giving so much of myself that i didn’t notice i was drowning.
I don’t have the energy to keep going. But i must.
How do you recover from giving so much of yourself, when you have nothing left to give? To others? To myself?
This life of passion has made me hollow and i just want to feel again. No matter the cost, because i must.
Relapse is a *****.
Hello old friend,
I've missed you.
And the dark blanket you skillfully wrap around me.
I was a fool to think you were in the past.
When in reality I've always been your *****.
Always will be.
Until you finally call me home.
Sinking lower every day.
You played me like a fiddle and while I was lost in the enchanting music being slithered into my ear, you undressed me.
Are you happy now?
The chaos of the world has drown me.
And I can only ponder the thought of what could have been.
What I could of been.
The blanket of night brings back the illustrations of my past.
Who I was.
Why did I hate her so much?
Now I envy to be her.
I craved change, and now, I resent it.