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café Jan 26
needs a dark mode
my eyes burn
it's too bright
when I can't sleep at night
I really want to read poetry in the dark
café Dec 2018
in my eyes

The only living thing inside me
is weeds

I cough out

I have two hearts
only one hurts

I am undesirable
no one wants me
I am unfixable

Waking up in cold sweat
I can't remember the nightmare
I dreamt

It's a good thing

    now I'm lost thinking
what was it
I feared

I'm afraid
I'm terrified
I'm stuck inside

I've haven't touched the world

I'm petrified

I've always wanted to be a flower

the one
everyone wants to pick

I've become a plant in the wrong place
café Aug 15
don't ask me about the future
I don't plan on making it that far

I don't wish for tomorrow
I left my courage inside yesterday

I lied
I don't think I'll be here next month
I lied
I said it's fine
I'm so terrified
starting to cry
let me take it all back

don't make me think so far
the vast
corruption of my mind

I'm not making any plans

everything is so temporary
feels like
I never existed
café Oct 24
listen to the music my ears heard
touch the pillows I laid my head
use the lipsticks my lips touched
wear the necklaces that hung around my neck
drink a glass of cold milk in the rain
listen to the sad playlist I made for when I'm sad
wrap yourself around the blanket I felt safe tangled in
wear the earrings that went through my ears
take my clothes and wash them
or keep the smell I'd wear them with
walk in my shoes
maybe then you'll know
wash your hair with my shampoo
write with the pens my hands held
read all of my poems
even the unfinished ones
listen to all of the recordings
don't take it too seriously

all of the things I've lived with

keep them by your side

when I leave
I'll leave small pieces of me behind
find them

keep them
until I come back

in a dream
in a cloud
in a star
in the rain
in the sun
in the wind

find ways to remember me
café Sep 18
Tear apart
paper hearts

sunny rain
****** rainbows
and blue haze

stuck in box
can't push me out

for months
waking up in October

nice talk
now we're back to ignoring each other

lost my bottle of tears
I cared for myself
I never noticed you were here
café Jul 2018
Escaping reality
this is not my real life

My blue life
dark blue

Feel the energy draining from my body

I'm not in my mind

This isn't real life

I forgot the key
to my head

Somewhere in this blue life

I see green

So close to waking up

I'll fall asleep
café Sep 2018
The old days
where I hated everyone
now all I hate is myself

The old days
where I wanted to jump out the window

now me closing them to keep myself inside

My mind is over flowing
with secrets and lies

years ago
I felt this heavy feeling

Is it back

I don't hate anyone
I don't love myself enough

I find reasons to stay
hold onto them
with a grip so tight
I'm left with bruises

It's still better
than not waking up
to another morning
café Aug 2018
I think I'm over you
Don't think about you as often as I used to

I've moved on
a rainbow appear
I know I will be fine

I hope you love me just a little
And think of me in the afternoon's
café Feb 23
Thank you
I've been here forever
still doesn't feel real
Reversible Poem / 10w
café Aug 2018
I'm not scared of your darker side
please come out

I love the mysterious

My shadow runs into the smoke

Does it matter now

How much pain I went through

All the nights I cried

so far away

It doesn't matter

so why bother
give me sympathy
it's too late now

Maybe if we go back to the days
when I slept with pain
if only you could tell that girl
Your worries

Not me now

I'm your sunshine

You don't realize
I'm standing in the dark

Hiding my real face

Feels so long
Since I've felt depressed

It doesn't matter anymore

I sleep it off
café Feb 26
I still wonder of orion's belt
I still wish to see the moon
I still love parts of life

I may never live the best version of myself

I still want to try
café Jun 2018
I'm constantly changing
now everyday I'm dreaming

You lay by the sun
so I won't see you leave
I can't believe
I'm really nothing

today I feel like a speck of dust
against all these people
who have luck

I just want to go home
wherever that is
café Aug 2018
is it time to go
I felt like an unknown guest
mourning with the clouds
café Oct 31
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
can we change?
café Jul 2015
It says almost time
She would celebrate the day
She came to this world
Everyone would
Hug her
But she just smiled
And went on
She didn't care
What day it was
To her
It was another
November day
Not her birthday
café Nov 2017
he replied
your birthday is this week
how do you feel

it'll be another day
it's another year
one number added to another
one more second to waste
the sun will come up
the moon will shine
I don't see why
pretend that
everything seems fine

It really doesn't matter right
café Apr 2018
I do love the grass
the pretty flowers that grow on the side
I love the ocean
Seeing the sun so big at sun down

I miss the mountains more
I miss the tree by my room
I miss the sun going down the mountains at sunset
I miss seeing Orion

I do love this

It's just not home anymore
café Apr 23
I'm scared
I'm afraid
Of everything and everyone
Mostly fear towards

Hiding underneath my softest blanket
turning off all the sounds of the world
covering up lights

I can't live inside my body
café Aug 2018
How should I fall asleep

with so many memories on replay

it's about us right now
you are with me

you're leaving
I'm with you

by heart

I'm wasting time
looking for things
so many distractions

I'm with you
it's all about us

how will I fall asleep
you're running in my head
café Mar 2016
How much I wish it was
Happiness that inspires
café Mar 2016
My little grey dress
The day is almost coming

The dress is so plain
No rain

But when I have to go
Don't cry my love

My pretty
Pink lips painted
My hair not combed
But messy

The night was made to cry
Because there's no light

My time is coming
And yet I can feel
The sunrise as well
café Jun 2018
Returning the rain
the flowers can stay with me
I'll love the sun soon
café Feb 26
It's me
Can you believe
I still miss you

I'm not the same
who I used to be
when I laughed with you

Don't you remember
Please don't forget

The sun hates me
so I  hide inside all day

Please remember
Don't you forget

The clouds hate me
so I stay in bed

I wish I knew
how to find life
find love
find someone alone

You still make me feel so small
I'm not that little girl anymore
café Jul 2018
keeps me up late at night
wandering around
  the foggy lights keeps us down
Your window view
I can see a tree I never knew

falling asleep
inside a dream

I have to remind myself
this is real life

[time was created to keep us chasing a clock]

I'm living in my dreams everyday now
I can't wake up
café Mar 2018
Cold air
heavy breathing
it's passing slowly
yet fast

I realize
my pain has died
I don't want to
cry about you anymore

So I fall asleep
I've had no dreams
I'll wake up fine

My veins are stronger
I'm no longer small
Not the flower you'll pick
and take
Leave me to die

My roots are everywhere now
There's no death

The sun glows
I see Venus
He is smiling
café Oct 2017
I'm not sure if I should hate you
since I still miss you

caught in the thought
I should be focused on present time
not in last month

are you going say HI
because you never said goodbye

losing time
what are you doing tomorrow
I think I'm losing my composure

thinking about our memories
I was going to delete
not so sure anymore

should I forgive you
since I miss you
café Sep 12
is it okay
if I steal your face

make a living
I'll give it back someday

is it okay
to pretend

it's wrong
I know

can we talk for a small second
can you be quiet
don't ask questions

can I steal your face
I'll keep it
wear it when I see them
they're gonna love me

it's in my hands now
I'll never take it off
café Mar 2018
we don't know how you got here
you're just there
you have no light
no sound
waiting for the sun to come around
pale grey
cold form
tides away
wish you well
see you again
27 more days
our one & only
dark seas
waiting for the sun to come around
she's the only one that makes you feel warm
café Feb 2018
I watch you
walk so calmly
breathe so slowly deeply
I envy you

there goes my youth
wasted on you

remember those years
spent on rooftops
beside you
shoulder to shoulder

every raindrop seemed to glow
from the city

I was to busy staring at you

wasted youth
cold swimming pools
first tattoos

does it matter now?
do you still hear me whisper goodnight

whenever I see you pass by
another new piercing

I dyed my hair
the first time we ever talked

you always had some special power
whenever I'm falling
you catch on
falling together

new adventures
every cloud burns
I was too busy staring somewhere else
to not notice your gaze

come alive
all because of you
in your eyes

having you by my side
I might as well die
reach out
hold your brain
so softly
never want to hurt you

my wasted youth
is not ruined
café Feb 2018
there's a long way to go
from here to a nearby universe

I'm deeply scarred
I wasn't too fond of how you handled
your anger
I felt like danger
ran through your veins

I cut a hole in my arm
to take away the pain
I noticed I had no blood
circulating through my

I was very sorry
when I told you how I felt
I shortly regret it
hope you don't
hold to it

It's a long way here
to the most open galaxy

If I'm going to get there
I'll have to sacrifice
my visions
café May 2018
now that spring is gone
where is winter

I don't  like this summer
please don't take away the flowers

I'll pick up a pen
write on these empty pages

I'll behave
I'll love my mother

I want the rain
these sunny days
are burning away my brain

are disappearing

I don't remember my friends

the walls are closing in
I don't want to lose myself

in this sun

this sun
blinding away
my hope
café Jan 2016
I was at the window
She was at the door

I smiled
She waved

What a beautiful day
café Sep 2018
Truth is
I feel so heavy
The feeling
Won't leave
Inside my head
I'm going in circles

Truth is
I'm depressed
I don't know what to do anymore
café Jul 2018
Come and save us
before we destroy ourselves
café Oct 2018
In 565 days I'll be somewhere dead
I'll be in hotel room 31
It'll be 1:22
With a window so high
I'll almost believe I can fly
Not so far away
I can hear you talk
The promises you break
Burn away
I want to sleep away
dream a reality
I'll never see
café Aug 2018
I've been hiding my face all day long
you know my name
you don't know it's mine

peeking through tall windows

I hope you haven't caught on

I'm all poison
shouldn't come closer

one day I'll be there
most of the time I'll hide
café Feb 24
Magical moment
I don't know why
the sun rise
café Jan 2016
We all have
Our depressing

That makes us
Feel awesome
café Jul 2018
en la luna

no veo nada

los momentos que estuvimos juntos

en el espacio que nunca tocaré

y ahora me arrepiento

porque no estoy contigo

necesito una eternidad
para pensar
lo que hice mal
café Oct 2018
I think I found love
within the letters you type

forming words
I've read a thousand times

suddenly they feel so different

I'm trying to know

I'm confused
keeping a distance

no goodnight kiss
no good morning message

me a

I think I've fallen
into a toxic puddle
of unknown chemicals

my mistake

It's my mistake
café Dec 2018
I'm full of light
When I open my eyes
the darkness blinds me
Thanks for 777 followers! Stay lucky
café Jan 2016
What is poetry now ?
What you think
What you feel ..
Your thoughts

Or just words you can't say
So you type it down instead
café Feb 2016
He didn't see her
But it didn't matter

She was in plain sight
No one noticed

Her wish of being invisable
Is real
café Mar 2016
I will be ok

Maybe if I read this a million times
I'll believe it
café Jan 2016
I got lost
in the music

instead of their voices
café Jan 2016
It's cold
but the memories
of you holding me
still keeps me
café Feb 2016
The cold wind hit my face
Like ice in rain

The sun could no longer
Keep me warm

I fought to run
Though no one really saw

If I were to Fall
I wouldn't dare hold on
café Dec 2017
Show me the way
To the field
Filled with flowers

Show me the way

Dancing in the wind
Singing in the pouring rain

Show me the way
I've lost myself
I don't where I've been
Thought we were still in 2016

Heading towards 2018
It's seems over
Let's just skip one more year

I'm off to hibernate
All these teenagers
Look at me
Oh it's to late
Go away we won't make it

Vacation is over
We'll have no brains

Stomach filled with pain

I really don't want to see you again
café Dec 2018
You get sad
when she leaves

that I am here

I'm not leaving

/I stay/
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