If I have to find forever alone

I shall become a fierce animal when I find home

If I have to live a life where I don't feel alive

Can I deprive another to to end my dependence

If I have to find happiness

In the pursuit does that mean I search miserably

Crawling among daisies and daffodils

Just to be stung by bees 

Do those bees die feeling fulfillment

Does the floral arrangement leak beauty but attract danger

If I have to get you to love me

Would it be worth it

Trying sometimes isn't 

Forcing would be a better option

But I don't really mean it

If I have to make you smile

And I smile in return

If I have to turn you on

Does it seem to just appeal

If I have to break your heart

Will it be on purpose

Is it only that much worth it
If I have to 

Should you to

I crave honesty

Though I weep to it's side effects

I've seen the ******* and many lies

Can you tell from my bitter eyes

Accepting and tolerating

The truth with the lies

I'm turned immortal by a stone dragon

Cursed to be reborn from                     A phoenixs' ashes

Just to be held close

To know it never felt close to love

Because love never felt so good

Which is what made it an enemy

I turned my back to the knife right at me

Hoping another entity maliciously pierced me

Situations change but don't lie to me

This love is all that I got

And when the escapism fades

All I'll have is the shirt on my back

I find to much beauty in the rain,
as I sit here and watch myself completely drain.

I can't seem to process what you said,
as I silently sit here contemplating in my head.

All I can think about is how I wish I were dead.

"They don't care about you anyway."
So why do I sit here and continue to stay?

If tonight I decide to say goodbye,
would you please sing me a lullaby?

Or will you continue to stare at me like I'm some foreign creature
and watch me cry?

To be broken

Without repair

Is a game without a token

To have been caught and snared

I've got a bad habit

We all do

A favorable habit

Let it forward and ensue

The smile is a trap

With all the warning signs

I guzzle the drugs

To take the plunge

And shift through the wreckage

Piece it together with perpetual guilt

We can't cure the sickness

When it's cold before you hit the ground

Let it snow let it snow let it snow

Hopefully the cold will numb it

As it did before

Then when summer comes to melt the ground

Pick me up as you did before

Broken and battered

Repaired and bruised

When I jump again

Maybe just maybe

You won't put me together

And help me again

A humind day,
tears of heat
drip  from my
eye brows, clothes
soak up the
water, as if
a rain cloud
had opened above
and singled me out.