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BLuRryFacE Jun 20
Forever forsaken to the blind rage that is quiet depression. Suffering in silence, wanting to speak but forever trapped in the fear that this feeling of lonesome and depression is becoming a severe obsession. Constantly questioning sanity because words and thoughts SEEM to not make sense and SEEM unclear. Spaces in my brain filled by forever haunting memories, and drowning in the missing details of mixed signals and ununderstood words. We swim laps in the same swinning pool of dreams abs memories. You continue to swim but i slowly drown and sink in the bottom. Sinking in the botton of an empty liquor bottle which is joined by a mixture of unknown pills to **** the pain. Not just to **** the pain but also to **** the strain, and quite often to **** away. (Did you catch that, nope probably not) INSANE. Insane like the lines, ropes, and strings that entangle thoughts abd wrap confusion in the open arms od my brain. To quote the words of B.E., books dont make sense if you read them backwards. You'll single out the wrong words. Like you mishear all my songs. Those are not my words, yet, I understand so well that its like a segment of thought blindly retracted from the deepest parts of my brain.
BLuRryFacE Apr 4
I close my eyes. I see pitch black darkness. And in the distance, I begin to see what looks like flames. It is flames. Flames that you ignited inside my heart and soul. Flames shaped, from, and slowly change. Change into long fiery red hair. And as the red hair forms, it floats still, just blowing in the wind. The long fiery red hair continues to float, but a human figure begins to form, fitting along with the hair. And this human figure, pure and forever filled with beauty. The human figure forms, in a red hoodie with black hearts scattered across it. Black leggings, ever so fitting to her beautiful hourglass figure. And long light brown boots to finish her exquisite attire. Beauty and grace seen in her eyes and in the way she walks. Heart beating fast, skipping eight beats at once as she approaches. She draws closer and closer. She stands right in front of me. She lifts her hand and traces it up my hand and all the way up to my chin, teasingly keeping eye contact the whole while. As she keeps eye contact, she begins slowly tracing my chest muscles and then back to my arms, tracing them as well. My body, ever so frozen. I remain silent, even though I want to speak. I open my mouth, but no words come out. You put your finger to my mouth as if to silence me. You trace the finger down my cheek and down my chin again. With the finger on my chin, you place the rest of your hand on my chin and slightly pull it down so our eyes meet once again. You stand slightly on your tippy toes and whisper in my ear. “ You don't have to say a word. I already know.”  You release my chin and begin walking around me slowly in a circle. Once you lap around me twice. You stop right in front of me once again. You once more trace your hand up my cheek, you lean in as if to kiss me. You stop and whisper once again in my ear, “ It’s okay, it’ll be our time soon…”, stopping in the middle of the sentence. Then you come back, close to my lips, once again as if to kiss me. With our lips so close, they almost touch, but you pull back completely and turn around and finish the sentence and say, “.... it just isn't our time now”. And as you say that you further and further walk away. I finally am able to move and speak. I follow and try to grab your hand, but as I grip it, your human figure turns into a figment of my imagination. And all that's left, is the flame. That floating flame that you ignited inside of me. A tear falls from my eyes and rolls down my cheek, dripping to the floor. I drop down onto my knees, and tears continue to flow as my head is dropped, looking at the tears on the floor. While I'm not looking, the human figure and you reappear, but in a ghost-like form. I see your long brown boots in front of me, and I look up, excited. You reach your hand down and touch my chin, pulling me up. I get up and try to hug you. But as I hug you, your ghost-like form separates and escapes from my grasp, causing me to step back, wonderingly. You reform into your ghost-like form and say, “ I can touch you but you can't touch me. It’s forbidden.” , I drop my head, sad. You lift my head up, and say, “ don't give up on this, LONG GAME is still to be played. That is if you're still playing.” You say with a curious chuckle and a curious look as you wait for my answer. And without a second wasted I reply. “ Yes. I'm still playing.”  And then you nod to my reply and say, “good…. But THIS game is over.” And I look curiously and ask, “What? Why?” And you count on your fingers and reply, “ because… three, two, one.” Then you point up, as the sound of faded music starts to play. The faded music grows louder and louder. So loud it starts to pull me away. I begin yelling, “ Will I see you again?”  You yell back, “ Of course you will.” And then after that, the music pulls me super fast and as I'm leaving you turn back into the flame and far in the distance, everything returns back to darkness. And in a snap. I am awoken by the sound of music from my alarm clock and all to realize that it was a dream.  A dream that was all too real.
This isn't a poem. its the beginning of a story that I'm working on, in this beginning. it's describing a dream/fantasy that the main character is having about a girl. and even though this is for a story. this is an actual dream that I had about an actual girl.
(NOT THE GIRL FROM MY LAST POEM) but anyways, I thought I would take the dream and make a story off of it. I'm still having trouble coming up with a name. so if anyone reads this and can think of a good name. please let me know it. it would mean a lot to me. thanks. hope everyone has a good and blessed day and I hope you enjoy.
BLuRryFacE Jan 30
My harsh existence and your hearts persistence,
we cannot fit our hearts together because they just don't mix,
two worlds collide on the brink of chaos and suicide,
two worlds cannot collide without heavy impact,
we both keep fighting to keep our hearts, mind, and souls intact,
but when we tried to work to fix it you chose to retract,
so I must do the same,
I'm sorry.
BLuRryFacE Mar 2018
This isnt a poem but it is a REALIZATION. A realization that most of everybody, every human being has their oen imagination. And each of us human beings use our imaginations almost everyday of our lives, now most human beings like me who have been bullied 24/7 almost everyday of the week.... Tend to use our imagination more than the average human being. You see I use my imagination everyday, in everything that i do. I use my imagionation as an escape. An escape from life. An esape from the bullies. And every other thing that ever happened to me. But after getting bullied so badly, now it seems like no matter how far or how deep I go into my imagination I go, the bullies are always there and now its to the point where i've turned to other things like drugs, I know thats a bad thing but its not bad to the point where im addicted its just that I use them to numb the everyday pain of life away. But as I continue to use the drugs the numbness from the drugs is starting to numb away and now im starting to feel all the pain from life again and now im realizing that I need help before its to late because I keep thinking these crazy thoughts. And they truly scare me. If your reading this please. Help me. Before its to late.
BLuRryFacE Feb 2018
no love, no hate,
no joy, just pain,
dark clouds cover me as i sit here in the rain,
I cant control whats going on up inside my brain,
from what I do and how I live,
I might as well be ashamed,
everywhere I go people play me, like imma game,
I re-live the hate,
when they discraminate,
my life's in peices like a broken plate,
I tried to fix it, but it was to late,
people always judge me for my looks like imma book cover,
but when they really finally find out what's inside, they run and hide.

BLuRryFacE Feb 2018
if you live life in my shoes,
there'll be alot to pick and choose,
and alot that you'll lose,
there'll be alot to refuse,
the thought'll make
you feel abused,
you feel so confused,
there's stuff you want to undo,
but now your stuck in the darkness that you cant see through,
and now you dont know what to do,
your just stuck there thinking,
you feel like your sinking,
then you realize, you feel hypnotized,
if you stay long enough,
you'll lose your mind,
you'll be surrounded by darkness,
and the sun you wont find,
your stuck deep in the pain,
the scars from before come back and remain,
your stuck in your brain,
and you feel so insane,
your surrounded by imagination,
and now your losing your patience,
you come back, and feel like you just woke up from a dream,
and then you realize life's not what it seemed.


— The End —