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When I am all alone
Envy me most,
Then my thoughts flutter round me
In a glimmering host;

Some dressed in silver,
Some dressed in white,
Each like a taper
Blossoming light;

Most of them merry,
Some of them grave,
Each of them lithe
As willows that wave;

Some bearing violets,
Some bearing bay,
One with a burning rose
Hidden away —

When I am all alone
Envy me then,
For I have better friends
Than women and men.
 Jul 2019 Alaina Moore
every time I'm in the state
of euphoria -
you're always that gravitational force
that pulls me down
 Jul 2019 Alaina Moore
 Jul 2019 Alaina Moore
my name isn’t emilie
and i would like to say
nor is it anything else.
but whatever is covering you up
eventually melts.

sweat off your walls,
a simple choice
between hidden or exposed.
the wind gets louder
carefully absorbing my every move.

change your facts
every single one.
no one will know
it’s really you bleeding
beneath all the snow

block out the sounds
the colors are white
the search is out
i’m fading at midnight.
you act like you wouldn’t like to know.

my name isn’t emilie.
or mary or june.
under six feet of ice
no one knows it’s you.
a confession
left my phone unlocked
on the taxi’s back seat,
won't be the last time

called it a few times
finally, the driver picked up

he had a fare immediately after mine,
and was now headed way downtown,
and would call later
when fate returned him nearer my office

and so it came to pass,
very shortly thereafter,

we met on the street,
he rolled down  the window
and with the greatest smile of pleasure,
as if he had won the lottery
handed me my phone

I had two $20's to cover any expense he might have incurred,
neatly folded in my hand  
and offered it right up, right away;
but the driver repeatedly pushed my hand away
as I insisted,

"No sir, no no, not necessary!

Allah sent me a fare
that took me soon back close to you, so,
  no loss of time did I suffer,
so your offer is kindly unnecessary!"

to which I replied,

Allah sent you to me
so I could reward you!"

and with an equally, beaming smile continued,

"our ride and meeting today,
together was pre-ordained it was

Inshallah!" ^

something he could not dispute...
or his amazement, disguise...

  we parted ways
   each believing,
   each receiving
a heavenly check plus,
each, credited with a mitzvah^^
on our
respective trip logs,
our humanly divine balance sheets,
kept by the
supreme taxi dispatcher
Arabic for ^"God/Allah willing" or "if God/Allah wills," frequently spoken by a Muslim

^^a meritorious or charitable act in the Jewish tradition

NYC taxi cab drivers are suffering economically by the explosion of ride hailing app cars, many unable to pay their bills, earn a living, have committed suicide over the past few months

true story, poetry is there for the taking
Waking up to a heavy chest
My body begging me to sleep again
And my anxiety begins the second I realize I'm alive
I'm trying to learn to function
With all of this negative energy inside me
I know it'll pass and
I know it'll get better
But right now it hurts
I feel unloved
I feel lost inside myself
A place I can't stay too long
Before I lose my mind
I can tell myself I'm worth it and
That my worth isn't defined by others
And it works for a bit
Until something else comes up and
My heart loses its energy
And I either feel like giving up
Or ready to fight everyone
 May 2018 Alaina Moore
Our bodies may never entwine again
In their lifetimes
Our skin may eventually shed
Every touch and kiss and grip
Of you and I
To be all but mere dust
My longing for you may seep
Into every sweet letter and noun and adjective
I choose to utter
Unto my speech is but lost scripture
But the very ashes of me:
Bones, organs, salt and all
Will sleep with undying peace
In Earth’s nomadic bed
In the knowledge
The hands of time are tied 
When we’re together

It’s as if the cosmos, the stars
The planets, unknown forces
Whatever it is, banded together
To preserve a timeless pocket
Of our love’s lint
That transcends us
And the us that comes after us
And thereafter
Until our paths collide again
With a big bang
And time will roll into motion
Along with light and love
And our hearts
Will grow old together
As sparked from the very same
Atomic lint

My dearest, this will be our beginning
And it will be the most beautiful thing
The universe has ever seen
 May 2018 Alaina Moore
He doesn't burn photographs
He doesn't join therapy sessions
He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes
Nor he drown himself into alcohol
He scratches his wounds daily
And never let them heal
He doesn't try to get rid of the pain
Instead he let it grow on him
He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears
He feeds it with the manure of old memories
He takes it to sleep with him
And nurtures it in himself
Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain
Until his fragile heart can bear no more
And his soul starts overflowing with emotions
That's when he dip his pen into this pain
And empty his heart on a piece of paper
He bares his soul for us to feel
He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come
That's how true poetry comes into existence
 May 2018 Alaina Moore
I do not love all the words you say
I have finally found one flaw in you
I hope you understand my critique
I stumble on repetitive insults you spew

That's all you do wrong
There is just no other fault
I let you shout, release your anger
I despise each verbal assault

Used to hold thoughts inside
Opinions I was too scared to express
Been putting expectation on my shoulders
Change my life or cave under overwhelming stress

Speeding from surprise struggles
You attempt to control your violent rage
I want badly to erase heavy words
Eternally printed on life's page

"I hate you so much right now." You glared
Hearing that directed at me hurt like hell
There are many sentences you could have used
That is the one you chose to yell

My ears weathered sharp remarks
Shrapnel searing through my drums
With every passing second you seem uglier
I am riddles with holes and an ache that never numbs

I am so worried there is truth in your shouting
I don't know how much honesty is hidden in your anger
You are not the easiest book to read
Sometimes I feel as if I'm talking to a stranger

I am beginning to believe you do detest me now
Difficult as it is for me to admit
I know you love me, but I fear not enough
The hatred is growing, I don't know how to stop it.
When things are good they are amazing but ehen they are bad they are awful. I have never said I hate you to you, at least not yet. You have no idea how it feels.
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