Rapidly approaching dusk, the sunbeams are bouncing across car roofs, creating a river of deep red.
Below there's broken glass strewn across the always shining like star light bending in the atmosphere.
I wonder what the glass thinks of being shattered by drunk nomad who felt the desire to release the bottle at high velocity?
Does it care that it's avoided by all the passers by?
Does it feel free having escaped the vessel and sprawl across the concrete?
Perhaps I need to be shattered to break free?
Trapped in mental paradox I struggle to find resolution.
Wading in ambiguity without direction, exhaustion settles into routine.
Waiting to see the fruits of my investment in self.
Work in progress... Not sure where I'm going with this
esteemed and influential.
that make me mental.
Not about this repetition.
Locking me in a finite position.
With a moderate delay,
Reminding me that it is alright to thrive.
Maturing at a healthly pace.
Hoping to survive it all with grace.
I actually tried to rhyme for once...
A stark realization.
I'm, for lack of a better word, obsessed with South Park.
Not like collectables, clothing, or other cluttered stuff.
But like ingrained into my personality, seriously, like a face hugger planting seeds in my core. Hatching into satirical, political, ridiculous obsession
Half my inside jokes.
The majority of my random noises.
Sewn within my vocabulary.
Constantly murmuring on the TV like old friends at dinner.
In my achievement list on Steam.
On my blu-ray shelf.
Gently nudging me with phone notifications to collect my free pack.
Definitely used in comparisons at work.
Equally tearing down the walls of anyone and everyone.
I eat it up.
Personal Devil spouting whispers directly into my consciousness.
Streamlined for exaggerated effect.
The internal constant critic of every action and thought.
Highlighting what could have been better in a way so far from constructive I'd need to update my passport to have a chance to see positivity.
Never harping on what was good, what was done exceptionally well.
Only dissatisfied with how it wasn't perfect.
The stark reminder that my toxic self is standing right behind me.
Never feel like there is not
consistency in your life.
There will always be people
that disappoint you.
Rolling over you like
a gravel road.
They will be that wheel crushing you
into the stones.
"I don't need friends, they disappoint me"#RipVine
You know that feeling,
of not wanting to go home?
Because you know there is some trigger there, just waiting behind the door.
Or somewhere in the hall closet,
or kitchen cupboard.
When the wrong tone rolls off the tongue and you end up eating crow for dinner, in total silence.
The hollowness grows like a **** in your chest.
Ceaselessly creating shelters just to watch them burn.
Eggshells crack like atom bombs,
and this emptiness grows heavy with each passing step.
When your biggest wish is to come home to smiling faces.
"If hello, could only drop it's 'o'" - Coheed and Cambria
Ever acclimating to reality.
Suddle differences between then and now.
Hopelessness fades into almost happy.
Depressed all the same but getting better.
Minor inconveniences expolde into melodrama.
Relearning coping mechanisms like burning down sulpher.
Olympian effort for mataining expectations.
Progress yet still nervous.
Like standing on a sandstone cliff on the edge of the Grand Canyon.
No difficulty fathoming how far I could fall.
Challenge is trusting that I won't blindly jump into the river.