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I'm a late person. To be honest,
Feeling like that I am drained, but can't sleep,
The reason why that I will just cry,
I get horrible nightmares,
That i just have flashbacks
From the people that hurt me
The ones that made me suffered,
The ones that bullied me,
The ones that made me weak,
The ones that called me horrible names behind my back,
Also the worst of it all is the ones that made me naive to them.
I am just tired and i had tried to sleep,
But i can't....
It just so hard to deal with.
Living a lie makes everything worse,
seeing the truth makes me want to leave,
getting hurt by everyone,
I feel torment,
getting distress by my anxiety,
makes me feel weak,
so much grief in my past,
that I can't be happy,
I have so much weight on my shoulders,
no one even knows the hell i been through.
I wonder how the ocean will feel like,
I wonder how painless it feels,
I wonder how beautiful it is,
I wonder if I will see the day will come,
My emotions would be better,
I wished it everyday,
Wish to be happy,
But it hard when I am in still a cage,
I almost escaped once,
I failed..
I been dragged back and it double locked,
If I tried again it could feel worse.
Like I would be *******,
It would make it even harder than before,
I just want to be free,
Just like the Ocean..
To be free.
nothing simple anymore,
i am trying,
it hard,
why am i like this,
do i hurt people,
do i blame myself..
without thinking of it,
well I don't know why I am like this,
I am just what I am..

My personally is nothing,
like I just don't know what I am,
do i feel like this everyday,
am i selfish that much,
i don't know...
that the point,
I will never know....
When sometimes that I feel lost, confused, hurt.

~I try my very best to get along with everyone that I once knew in my whole heart.
Sometimes, I don't want to move on just yet.
Bit I have to let it go.
They just don't know me at all.
I just need to breathe.
I always get to worry all the time.
I just don't know why?
My heart always been broken.
I have one problem after another.

I just with that I just fix all of my mistakes,
but all that the people I once Knew,
just blocked me away.
It just not going to solve anything.
I just wish that their's another way.
They just want to shut my out...
I just guess that life doesn't matter to me anymore.

A few years ago...
Even though it forever.
I once knew a girl that she was my best friend
that she was a sister to me,
At least that I got to talk to her a little bit.
I gave her a graduation present a few months ago
before she left.
Then a while later,
she blocked me.
I felt so confused and lost
I never ever wanted to hurt anyone.
'Sometimes that I always thinking that people are saying to my head in thought like, "Go **** yourself" I don't know why that I thought of that.

I always thinking that I'm always alone in my heart. That people that doesn't understands me anymore. People that I once knew that doesn't know my past stories, They don't know what happened to me.

People breaks promises to me and it hurts a lot. I just don't understand. I just want to get along with everyone that I see.

I just bet that the people that I once knew that won't see this, the ones i knew in my heart. It feels what they are saying to me, "I am glad that I ruin your life and no one cares about you. Go jump off of a cliff... and others that I don't want to say.."

My head been thinking these things over and over and I am sick of this ****!!!! I just don't know why am I here in this world anymore?? My life is here for no reason for what it looks like........

I see why I am still feeling this way.. Thinking of my past is still inside of my head... It just don't want to stop.. I hate this feeling.. It's eating me alive...
"Never Change
Always be yourself
you are the best friend
a person can have.
Love yourself, be yourself
for you are beautiful
beyond skin deep.
I'll never Will forget you."
My ex best friend put this
in my yearbook in high school,
it was a lie and i feel pain and lost..
still....
I still never forget those words, in my head... My life will never will be the same.....

Never............

As I am still trying... I will never will stop until i will die... That a serious promise...
'You and me
We used to be together..
Everyday together always
I really feel
that I'm losing everything.
I can't believe
That everything had ended,
It looks like that you moved on,
And if it is Reality?
Well.... I don't want to know....
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