Never has a greater wretch walked on this here land
Her wrists are bound in iron
In torn and stained attire

Never has a sadder ghost drifted on this sand
Her sallow skin translucent
Atoning for cruel abuses

Never was a sicker girl seen on an empty path
Blood flows with every sneeze
Her lungs rattle with a wheeze

Never has a woman been dealt with so much wrath
Rocks bruise her skinny legs and arms
Wicked people visit her with harm

She walks in quiet misery
She drifts from place to place
She never stays in one town long
Or shows her tear-streaked face

She walks in utter silence
She never whispers a single word
She never notices those around
Their devilish faces all a blur

She walks in quiet misery
From civilization to the wild
She will always be in misery
Remorse at losing her only child

Absolve yourself, with sick rationality
Tell yourself that it was okay what you did
Never look back and face that sad visage
Sling your bag over your shoulder
And lie to yourself
Just like you lied to us

speak my name and I come to you
be it day or night, I'll run to you
you say my name and I am captured
whisper those two syllables enraptured

you shout my name and bring me grief
you growl my name through gritted teeth
spit my name out on the cluttered floor
she swears she'll speak my name no more

say my name, I still exist
I back away from your clenched fist
please, oh please don't close your mouth
her silence shoves me out the house

I miss my name upon your lips, the way my hands felt on your hips
the way you uttered it in glee, my name no longer your soliloquy

I still say yours more than I should
if I could stop it, then I would
your name bursts forth through muffled cries
but my names forever lost under our lies

A simple lonely street corner
Indistinguishable from any other intersection
Her face poked in the window of a loft
I imagine that her eyes were green,
I could be wrong

My attention was interrupted by her stare
So inquisitive and curious, maybe 6 years old
I didn't see him coming
His hard brown eyes glaring over a crooked nose
And cracked teeth

I felt the wave of anger and desperation
As he slid the knife into my guts
Cold waves flew over my body
Slow-stop-motion as I fell to the ground
like a poorly drawn cartoon

His grip was rough as he took my wallet
My fingers drenched in crimson
The concrete grew slick beneath me
I didn't try to grasp his arm or stop his hand
Or even acknowledge him above my pain

Each beat of my heart spilled life's precious blood
As I became the paint to a concrete canvas
Smeared sloppily without painterly strokes
A professional background of uneven greys
With a child-like smear of crimson

I reached out frantically as the temperature dropped
It was so impossibly cold in this temperate spring
Her face still pressed against the old bay window
Her expression never changed as I reached for her
Her innocence was lost
In a human painting of concrete and crimson

It was on summer's knoll that I found you
Gentle soft skin and quirky quick smiles
My breath was taken and I knew
One day I would take you from sun-soaked isle

And in forest wreathed of vibrant autumn
I laid with you amongst the leaves
Quick, flirting laughter as we lost our decorum
We were rapt in love and stories that it weaves

And on winter's doorstep, I finally found you
Tear-soaked cheeks and hurtful accusations
You swore, "twas no love" that bound true
Two souls, one heart, now empty formations

I sat alone in windswept meadows of spring
Yet to thaw from arctic winter winds
My prayers as of yet unheard for better tidings
For I am here, beckoned to summer knoll
As spring ends and summer finds me

I live every day in a self-inflicted wound
With self-destructive tendencies, my insides are festooned
I fill my lungs with nicotine to keep me calm
Adderal to keep me going as the day drags on
Alcohol to slow my breath and make me smile
Caffeinated beverages push me through each mile
Streaming television at all hours, night or day
To forcibly make vicious thoughts of self-loathing go away
Painkillers are administered every night for sleep
Behavioral modification so crazy thoughts won't make a peep
I drank, I smoked, consumed, and used
Altered, Changed, Rewired, Abused
Danced in the streets, a wistful fool
Clearly a vagabond, with pharmaceutical tools
     Can't I stop?
Dance for us you idiot, give us delight
     Why can't I stop?
Stand up like the stupid puppet you do each night
     I'll stop!
Make merry like the fiend you are
     ...and it stopped
With the screeching brakes, horrible crash, and flipping of a car

Oh for a poor vagabond like me
My only drug now is the long road of recovery