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Mikaail Sep 2017
I used to run once,
now I just walk,
I used to care once,
I doubt I ever will.
I used to smile once
I still smile...

Maybe I'm no longer the person you used to know

You'd think I'd have known better
than to listen to people.

But I never said that I knew myself
And my body is a cage
With no way out.

I'd like to leave

Yet my thoughts are restrained
by my skin.

I'm always tearing
and ripping and
scratching at it.

I just keeps growing back.
Mikaail Sep 2017
Have you ever heard?
of the trusty old nerd?

He worked all day long,
Nothing went wrong
But without a friend,
things come to an end
Things needed to change,
At least that he could arrange.
He varied his looks,
ditched his books
Changed his words,
forgot about surds.
Tried a different crowd
though they could get quite loud.
Cut his hair
though few were aware
Desperately trying to keep up the fight.

But nobody cared

So he disappeared...
Mikaail Sep 2017
As I write this
right here,
right now,
Tears are flowing down my face.

I don't mean,
to sound overdramatic,
but sometimes,
all that unpredictability

it can be

Control is just an illusion
the world spirals
in and out
of focus.

I've done something
I regret
I am so sorry
This is all

my fault.
Mikaail Sep 2017
What comes to mind
when we think of weapons?
A knife?
A gun?
A bomb?

We've got idiots firing missiles
at each other
left and right,
They seem to have forgotten what
the real weapons are:

Sure I bet you're wondering.
how much damage
can a word do?
A lot actually...

Forged inside the mind,
Perfected by the brain,
Tipped with emotion
Sharpened by the tongue
Fired from the mouth.

I'm not saying all words
are weapons,
some are soft and gentle,
they should be treasured,
they help you to see
what little good is left in this world.

But I am telling you now,
there are words in existence,
that tear you apart,
like wrapping paper,
hoping for a surprise.
Luckily for me, there's not much left.

It takes a minute to make someone's day
And a single word to destroy someone's life.
Mikaail Jul 2017
My eyes snap open:
I am walking
not by choice
for I am weighted down
it lurks behind me
every second
of every day.

People stare
and goggle at me
tongues throw knives
"Why are you so strange?"
some miss entirely
"Why can't you be normal?"
others hit home.

Doubt is constantly,
gnawing at my brain
Too many questions

What if all I ever do,
when light recedes
Is stare up at the ceiling
And drown in the past
When I think I've come up for air
I find a crashing wave of nightmares
That shoves me further down.

I do not understand
I lack perfect vision
Yet it is not I
that cannot see clearly
Even when the trees
***** at my eyes like needles

Nothing stops the pain
no matter how hard I try
I cannot escape
No matter how hard I try
No matter how far I get.
I end up
Closer than ever before

One day
I will be too tired
to keep going.
It will consume me.
And I will be lost.
Forever.              I Am Sorry
Mikaail Jun 2017
I sit
in the Sun
its rays pass through me
I am transparent.

I feel people's eyes on me
every day
but to them
I am glass
they see nothing but my smile
don't let it end there.

Maybe we should shed some light
on the situation
things happen
people talk
and everything
goes to ****.
light glass
Mikaail Jun 2017
I don't get vision
I've studied science too

Light through pupil
Image flipped
Produced on retina

But here's the thing?
I don't see the light
I see nothing but darkness
There is nothing ahead
the Void

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