My reality
is cracking
at the corners
And I’m leaking in all the wrong places

And he is left sitting alone
on a cold stone bench,
watching her disappear.
The setting sun touches the tree tops,
illuminating the fading evening
with leaves on fire.
He sits
and remembers
as she is stolen away
He sits and wonders
what would happen
if she could just stay.
And he remembers
holding her close
She was so, so warm
and her lips so soft.

And she is left on a shooting range
disguised as a speeding car
Taking her away, far away
from him.
Bullets are fired, aimed at her brain,
but she deflects the inquiries
and reminds herself of backup plans.
She pulls him to the front of her head
and wraps the thought around her,
a blsnket to keep her warm and safe.
Then she just sits
and watches the world blur past
and she remembers
his arms around her, the safety
and the warmth.
he was so, so warm
and his lips so soft.

And now they are suddenly
alone
and
cold,
Shivering in anticipation,
Waiting for the next embrace;
Each one is dreaming of the other,
with ghosts of kisses still imprinted on their lips.

I'm just so tired of being so strong,
and the secret is that I really just want to break.

Hey,
are you still there?
Or have you run away
like all the others?

Hey,
I’m feeling pretty bad today,
I
I just wanna say that
I wish everything would disappear
so I can stop feeling so gray.

It feels like this time of year
is just the worst for me
even though it’s supposed to be
happy and bright
My soul feels black as night
and I can’t take it anymore
I can’t bear this anymore
I
I wish I could fly away
I wish that you could stay
but who even are you?
I’m speaking to a ghost,
to someone I wish could be real
Someone to hold me tight and
remind that things will be okay...
How can anything be okay?

Everything is back to how it used to be.
Everything is a mess, a shamble, a waste of time,
It feels like this year didn’t really go by at all
I still feel exactly the same
How can I still feel this way
I was supposed to be better, supposed to get better,
Everything is supposed to be better now!

It’s hard to believe in change
when my failures stay the same.
And no one seems to see
just how much I’m struggling...
I just want everything to be okay.

It feels good
To be free of the burden of sadness,
Even if it’s only for a short time.
It feels good to breathe, to see, to listen
It feels good to live and be whole
It feels good to walk
On feet that are light and quick,
No longer burdened by achy fatigue
It feels good to smile,
And know that it is genuine.
It feels good to be alive,
And happy.

and if I wrote a poem about you,
would you ever know?

I don't know,
but you shine so bright

it's impossible not
to feel inspired

I hope I never
lose sight of you.

Our bathroom wall,
light blue with a glitter topcoat,
looks gaudy and childish
in the daytime.

At night, by the glow
of a small nightlight,
my eyes blurry with sleep,
it looks as though
a piece of the night sky
has materialized before me.

I am made up of fragments
Bits of memory stain my skin
And I can fade
Into the woodwork, silent wallflower
I have one foot stuck in the past,
And I don’t know how to get it out
Without twisting my ankle

Oh, like-minded soul,
Could you come
To take me home?
Oh, like-minded soul,
Please, take my hand and lead me home

It was so random,
I dont even know how
I spotted you through the fog of thoughts
You caught my eye, your skin tattooed with memories
Just like mine
I saw the shadow in your eyes
I couldn’t look away
I couldn’t turn away from you

Oh, like-minded soul,
Could you come
To take me home?
Oh, like-minded soul,
Please, take my hand and lead me
Home

I swear I see my own tearstains
Turning your skin blue
And I swear that those are my scars
Shining on your arms
And I might be looking in a mirror;
Those eyes match mine
Even though the color is off
Our souls are the same,
We feel the same odd heartbeat
So, like-minded soul,
Tell me, do you know way home?
Oh, like-minded soul,
Let’s go find the way home

Oh, like-minded soul,
Could you come
To take me home?
Oh, like-minded soul,
Please, take my hand and lead me home

Ooh, like-minded soul,
I’ve come to take you home
Oh, like-minded soul,
Take my hand, I’ll lead you home.

HEY!
Y'all listen up now
Ima gonna tell ya somethin'
and you betta listen up real close
There are people out there
who feel UNLOVED
who feel FORGOTTEN
who feel like THEY DON'T BELONG
Well, listen to me now
I'm tellin' you that these kids
ARE LOVED
ARE REMBERED
AND THEY DO BELONG
It doesn't matter who you love
It doesn't matter who hurt you
It doesn't matter what you said
YOU BELONG
YOU ARE HUMAN, TOO
AND HUMANITY HAS TO
STICK
TOGETHER!!!
So, listen up, kids
Go out there
Into the big, scary world
and tell those
who keep their minds shut tight
that they need to
OPEN THEIR EYES
OPEN THEIR MINDS
AND KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT
IF ALL THAT COMES OUT
IS NEGATIVITY AND HATE.

NO ONE DESERVES TO BE HATED.
WE ARE ALL HUMAN.
WE ARE ALL OF EARTH.
WE ARE ALL
ONE.

These bits of hope
are dimming more and more,
but maybe this one will stay bright.

Why does there seem to be
a sudden chain of sadness
taking lives?

I worry
that depression
will wipe out
the world.

But I will still plant
my bright yellow flowers
because hope can never die
And neither will you, or I -
not today.

There’s a lot of heartache here,
so much that I feel like
I should leave a little note
Every time I show someone
this page.
I’ve been trying too hard
to find someone,
and that has led me down
a frustrating path.

I’ve got ghosts that aren’t really dead.

Dark house, dark rooms,
empty rooms;
Only one room is filled
with light, with life.
It is the room that I reside in,
huddled under sky-blue covers;
I wish I had sweet cotton candy clouds to match.

So my heart has been stomped on again
The aftermath of feeling the swell of love
He decided that email wasn't enough
He said that he misses me too much
¨We should see other people,¨
he typed, evil and alone
¨Then we won't be lonely anymore.¨
Well, ***** that
You were the only guy for me
And now I don't want anyone
Because I like having my heart intact
And I don't need another ******* telling me that
¨We should just be friends.¨
So...
***** YOU, MAN.

Oh! What is this,
What have you done to me?
It’s like I’m addicted
To the smell of you,
The feel of you,
Hands on my waist and your lips on mine;
And when I’m away,
Filled with the thought of you,
Longing pierces my chest
So that I cannot sleep
Without imagining you by my side
Holding me close and keeping me
Safe and warm in your arms;
It;s where I’d like to stay forever,
Safe and warm in your arms.

Look at me
with your dark eyes
and tell me another lie.

Tell me about
how you are absolutely fine
and worry is a waste of my time.

Don't let the truth
escape from your mouth
and lock you in a place where you are forced to shout.

Just keep saying
that you're okay,
let the monsters destroy your days.

Look at me
and tell another lie
even though I already know that you are ready to die.

I yearn for the days
when I could pull poetry
from my brain
like a string of pearls,
shimmering opal,
so beautiful to all.

Where    have    my    pearls    gone?

To find someone
who feels like
your other half

It's like you're
meant to be
in my arms

I get so lost
in your presence,
feeling safe and seen

You are a wonder
that I've searched for
for years untold

Finding you
makes everything
fall into place.

And with you goes a piece of me...
lost as long as you are gone.

******, love,
you torture me!
You take my heart and wrap it in the softest blanket
And as I start to feel safe
You suddenly whip out the dagger that as behind your back
and ram it through my chest
You rip my heart to shreds
And the blood stains my soul.

And then you take the one I love
and torture him, too!
I have to watch his agony, I'll drown in his tears
You leave him feeling hopeless and lost,
so that he doesn't want to stay.

Love, you are truly an eternal flame;
you warm and nurture or burn and torture
You cannot be controlled
You have cursed us, haven't you?
Cursed us with your fiery gift
While giving us hope you also opened us
to pain.
Love,
you are the greatest of treasures
and the most painful of tortures.
You can bring life,
But you can inspire a death

Oh! Love, I could go on all day
It is endless how I can say
That I depise you, love,
but at the same time adore you.

I once wrote a love song,
describing my heart as a butterfly,
trapped in a net with nowhere to go.

I could write a million love songs
describing my heart as a butterfly
in a bell jar, and you as the one who freed me from imminent death.

Our eyes absorb the sun-bright light
of a swollen moon, so big
I fear it may swallow us,
hungry hungry moon
It makes no sense,
that a sphere made of cheese
would devour two tiny humans in love,
but that is the nightmare
spinning in my head,
the dance partner of a daydream where
your hands travel
across the world of me,
memories staining your fingertips.

Settle into this
Soft place, comfort
Settle into this warmth
Sunshine filling your veins
Settle into this,
It is not reality,
Settle into this,
Escape from reality.*

Take my hand a lead me away from this place
Lead me away from the insanity, the pain
Take my hand and pull me up
Out of the hole I’m in, pitch-black
Scream into my ears, yes, scream
So loud i just may go deaf
Scream until i finally open my eyes
To look at you
Scream until the fog lifts from my face
And you can see me clearly
I can see you clearly
Walk ith me down the bumpy road
These hills keep popping up
Walk with me, up and down
Round and round
It’s a circle, it’s a cycle,
It repetitionrepetition
Repeat it again and again
Bro-ken rec-ord, bro-ken rec-ord
Spin me around,
Round and round the town
Hear me laugh
Maniacal
The neighbors close their shutters tight
So they can maybe sleep through the night
Hush, children, she’s on the prowl
Listen close, you can hear her howl
If you go out alone on this full moon
She will catch you and turn you into a loon
Loon, lune, luna, lunar, moon
It is fun to sing to the moon
Sing with me, love, sing with me
Dance with me, love, dance with me
When they come for me, i will be gone
I’ll dissolve in the moon’s silver light
And leave just a trace of my laugh in the night
You can hear me in the latest hour
If you go up the wooden tower
Hush, and listen:
Here lies an insane little girl.

I always knew I could
weave magic with a pen,
but I never realized that
the magic could pull
tears from dry eyes,
or pain from numb hearts,
or warmth from cold souls,
or inspiration from empty minds.

I'm beginning to wonder
if I lost that magic touch;

These words used to come so easily,
to frame my dreams and nightmares

The paper used to beckon,
gleam like a beacon

While I was lost at sea, the words
would be the rope to pull me free

They gave me just a little bit of clarity,
until they faded away.

I reach and grasp,
maybe catch loose threads,

But it's never strong enough
to pull me to safety.

I miss the magic of words,
of creating invisible images.

It's just starting to feel like
my magic has faded.

A soul full of stitches is mine,
A soul full of stitches and scars
No, they’re not from lost loves
No, they’re not from frequent grief
I’m just a little broken inside
I’ve got a loose *****,
My programming is malfunctioning
I’m just a little bit incorrect,
A math problem constantly done wrong

I thought I was unfixable,
I thought there was no hope for me
But then you came along,
Desperate to learn how to fix me
You reached into my head,
You tapped your knuckles against my heart
You found the refresh switch
And brought me to life
My glitches are still malfunctioning,
But I’m not frozen in place
My sticthes still sting and bleed,
But I’m not hiding from the pain

Something you did fixed me,
Even though I seem more broken
But the only reason I’m so
Uncontrollable
Is that I’m finally alive.

We are made of many faces,
how does anyone know
their own true form?

Business face
Friends face
Kids face
Alone face
Stranger face
Too many faces

Every day we go through
our trunks full of
masks
Switching out our faces as needed
Everyone sees someone different
Everyone is someone different
What is anyone's true face?

The face of being alone,
the face of no one looking for faces because there is
no one to show a face to.
The true face is the face that no one sees.

No one knows.

I can't stand this prison
with bars made out of
numbers and equations
I need to escape
Give me
an iron spoon
So I can dig my way out
Give me
a sleeping pill
So I can put
the guard to sleep
Steal the key
Unlock the door
Set me free
C'mon, bell
Hurry up and
                      ring!

Hey, everyone, and to all Star Wars fans: May the 4th be with you! :D
  I hope everyone has a good day, and remember the wise words of Yoda: “You will know (the good from the bad) when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”  :)

Tonight, I’m just a little bit gloomy,
with eyes to match the clouds outside;
The sky is swollen with unfallen precipitation.
A blast from the past
bruised my happiness,
and a shot of anxiety left me shaking in my love’s arms.
But I’m just a little bit sad,
and there’s no need to fear,
all I need is some beauty sleep for my smile to return.

Hiding inside of me,
Inside a girl made of ice and fear,

There is a woman made of fire

She spins and dances around my heart,
Trying to melt the icicles

She’s almost melted all of the icicles

Every kiss adds to silver puddle
That forms a pool deep in my belly

And then, melting into your kiss,
I want nothing more
Than to make it last forever, this
Perfection;
Just let me sink into you.

A weary soul, stained silver with tears,
weighs more than the body it inhabits,
for this host is too tired to eat, too tired
to sleep, unless the nap can last forever.

You live in a city underground
Where screams don't make a sound,
and voices are physical.
Words slap you across the face
They kick you in the gut
Knock you to your knees
Leave you gasping for more oxygen
The only way to survive
in a city full of words and pain
is to take your voice
and weave soft fabrics into it
Stuff it full of sun-soaked clouds
and add a few burrs to make it stick
Wrap a rope around it, easy grip
for something to hold on to
Then sing out loud
Pull the letters, strung together;
Twinkling Christmas lights,
pull them from your throat
And toss them across the pavement
String them over windows
And wrap them around staple-ridden light poles
Then dump what's left into a bucket
and fill the spaces in with liquid gold
instead of boiling blood
And pour it all over your head
So you can shine bright and be seen
Then sing, messenger bird, sing
And show the city the light of hope.

See the paint
dripping down the wall
Watch it as it falls
to stain us all
Red-streaked fingers
and mercury shining eyes
Eyes staining the sky
Silver and gold
to make new friends
But will you keep the old?
Or just ball them up
anicent poems in a torn-up notebook
toss it onto the pile of wood
Toss the lit match, watch it burn
Gold flames melt the silver down
until it dissolves
and is gone
Blackbird swoops down
and the tip of his wing
whispers to the fire
“Ignite me, I beg you;
your golden flames are just so beautiful.”
The shrill scream of the blackbird
pierces the sky
And makes the clouds cry tears of
clear sorrow and bitter sympathy

Standing below, face tilted up,
a little girl pokes her tongue
through her teeth
She can taste the sorrow and sympathy
And she can taste the fear
She can taste a world of pain
just in one single tear.

Shooting stars
Toss themselves out of the sky
Just to burn.
Tired of watching everyone below
Scream and cry and bleed
It’s torture to watch these people, all in pain,
Unable to do anything about it, so
Shooting stars toss themselves out of the sky
Because they’d rather burn.

Why is this all so
wrong?

I don’t belong
in this backyard
among their joy.

I lost my home,
but I never
really
had it.

There is a person
instead.
He is home,
more than
them.

He lies awake at night,
heart full of memories
and eyes full of tears.
Grief has taken his dreams away.

And then the
rain falls again
And the fog
rises in my head
And I am weighed down,
soaked in the rain
And the gray
creeps across my skin
And I look at myself
and weep for my missing colors.

Who sat there?
I see
a girl with sad eyes that no one sees
In the kitchen, there is a chair
that no one ever uses
at a table set for five,
why?
I see
tears leaking into the wood that no one sees
Upstairs, a door not opened
Contents are need-to-know only,
why?
I see
the monster used to dance with her here, where no one could see
In the room across the hall,
the broken mother cries at night
with a cracked frame in her hand.
Why?
I see
*in the bathroom are bloodstains that she wishes she didn't see.

Let
me
go


numb


here in this half-asleep
state.

Let me blur the lines,
fade out from the world.

Let me exist as a breath
in the air,
a single dewdrop on
a small blade of grass.

Let
me


dissolve.

This app that tracks
how my brain is feeling
asks me what emotion
is sitting in my chest -
I wish there was an option for
multiple feelings,
or all of the above.

Love yourself first.
Only accept your truth.
Valentines are paper.
Every day it's you.
Happiness will be mine.
I can't breathe.
My arms are weak, my legs are faulty.
Oh, why is this true?
Never give.
Love is a fable and I live in the tale.
You.

rain
  pattering
around
small
hidden
  birds,
who
  trill
to
find
  each
other
  through
the
  drops.

I was falling,
then crawling,
fighting to find my way

You materialized,
a lantern in the storm,
Offering warmth and safety

I held your hand
and off we ran
Headlong into insanity

Just for a moment,
I had a feeling
that life would be better,
but instead I was sent reeling.

You’ve been trying to help me,
hoping you’d free me
But I’ve slowly been dying
And I fear nothing can heal me.

stardust
  woven
through
  my
bones,
  forever
a
  reminder
of
  the
fires
  we
were
  born
from

the
  feeling
of
  drowning
despite
  full
oxygen,
  or
perhaps
  just
a
  desire
to
  sink.

soft,
  thin
beams
  of
light,
  revealed
by
  pale
smoke
  swirling
in
  a
hypnotic
  pattern