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Murlanda Jan 20
I am a bottle of wine deep
Merlot
Alone in my apartment I am free
I blow off plans to dance with acquaintances I could care less about
But I insta message a guy I could care about even less than these acquaintances

My dear friend texts me, his wife dying of ALS, and both their pain too tremendous
I have nothing to say

I feel all of the pressure in the world to **** these two men
to comfort them and fulfill what they expect and need

when did I become the girl that everyone knows they can ****?
should I be proud? I am not ashamed, but it makes me sad,

No one wants me, they want what I have

bubbles, excitement enthusiasm,

No one cares about what I am

sad, scared, traumatized, alone.

I need constant attention and reassurance, but I manifest it to being a party girl, ******* every ******* guy who comes her way, and leading on any girl foolish enough to feel a bit of genuine emotional connection.

I cut off my friends, and I fool my loved ones.

I am a dark person, in a light space. Or is it the other way around?

I don't know, but I can't stop thinking about *** long enough to figure it out.
Murlanda Dec 2018
Blood stains on the carpet
You are too young to be on this floor

Clothing without a body
Shoved into boxes and garbage bags

Pictures taken off of walls
Forgotten being

Vacancy on the left side of the bed

No body
A vase of ashes

Is the coffin empty?

It could be just a dream
Murlanda Dec 2018
Listen to the forest
It speaks
Not in the language we know
Birds singing
Leaves bustling in trees
Dancing with the wind
It blows, whispering
“Come with me, come home,”
The ground releases a crunch
As a hard foot presses down

If I sit here long enough
Will I become one of the branches
Of the tree?
Is this how they all got here?
Murlanda Dec 2018
White mountain
Nested between two trees
The sun cast
A shadow on the page
As my hand writes
The grass shapes round’ my feet
I am cold
Rays of sun give bits of warmth
White mountain stares steadily
Gaze unwavering,
unending
I try my best to stare back
Murlanda Dec 2018
I love you!
You love me
We love all
And all love us
But the trees are all gone now, and few animals are left
Babies are born
with no hate in their heart
raised to remain the same
But the water is rising, and the flames grew too high
Humans have reached enlightenment
Just in time for the world to die
Murlanda Dec 2018
I cannot write of love, or poetry, or stars
I cannot creep into the dark abyss
I cannot seep into the sink with yesterday’s cabbage
Help me, I am burning in the oven!
-My Pizza
Murlanda Dec 2018
I ride the train along a coast
My body is seated in the observation cart
Level with the grass and sea, I am a zoo animal
I am a tourist, I am mindless.
I watch the land and stare at the old shacks
Migrants work
Hunched over in strawberry fields
There is a grapevine, but I cannot find any wine
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