§atire

You're a heated moment
You come on strong,
Go the same away

You're sprung;
Like midday in May
June, August you're so far gone,
Before long
You're forgotten past the leaves of November,
On to December


You love not kind

You love not tender

You love not true

You love not do


When where was I
But in a heated moment,
Ceded a goodbye

Provided I refill my insecurity
For every moment it assure's me
The definition to define
Is inherently mind

I need stability
this **** is killing me

Wasted yesterday on anticipation
gave my living room exhibition inflation
By tonight I'll be coming undone
you're not here and already
I am impatient..
And uranus

When you can feel your temperature change a degree, it's strange
When you are sure calories have just converted into energy and climbed atop a great cell divide,
When you fraction yourself merely just to survive
When who you were turns blue right in front of you and you don't do all that you could do to revive

When you feel like feeling isn't fair,
When you think knowing too much is as certainty a disability 
When you are so far out of touch you're self reflecting 
When you are so tired of hearing it you close your ears to spite your sound ability to listen
When you have said all that is in your head,
Maladjusted as is everyone you once trusted

When you fall to the ground because your heart aches, and not a soul is around

When you begin to realize to really realize
Decipher the real from the lies aka the truth apart its guise
It is so crippling ..
You immediately begin to paralyze

I walk the line
One that is mine;
Made of my own bundles of time withered twine

Sick as sorrow
Ill I fear
Will become tomorrow;
I feel it near
As it gets louder
The sound I hear..
For I am bait, it states
Telling me of my fate
Self-delegated
Intra-personal, between
Me myself & I, loud & clear

A heated drum
Banging words that go ***
Bitter shame
Brighter shun
I can not change what all I've wrong
I can not help who I have become
Perhaps I have come too far undone
Outdone
I'm spun
Anyone??

The sun above
My feelings below
I think too much
I think
I think about my head hitting a pillow
Muffling the sounds my heart yearns to wallow
When ever I think of all I've done & said,
Of all I'm ashamed of
My hands are sure to be holding my head up..

Toothless loser
Afraid of commitment,
Insecure

Chaos, Confusion
Environmental pollution;
Counterproductive delusion

Self righteous
Assuming,
Projecting; polluting

Disrespectful
Bad example,
Toxic
Conclusion


If not for you, I'd never know what it truly means to be miserable..

I wish for stars that aren't even ours
far more than showroom cars way past par
I wish for hope & dreams to rearrange 
to be free from falling apart
for every day to disengage
between all that we love to hate
I wish we could turn around
just to come back 360 


Full swing lord you must forgive we
the people you set sail & to see
how inglorious is he
who takes from unforgivable greed
envious thus proceed unfeasible tangiblities
so dense, we cannot see much sense
so we heal in hope that bleeds

You bread fear and vulnerability
little by little you killed me
by intimidation
You thrived off of my instability; my humility
You thrived off me being vulnerable impaired
You left me haunted and scared

Drowning I couldn’t breathe air
Not fair
In my terror is when I found my faith that the devil is real
I was so scared
I was alone falling unsure and naive
I was innocent and unaware
You violated me
Repeatedly
The way I looked at the world
The way I perceived it
The way I perceive people
The feeling of safety
Kindness
Empathy compassion
Justice
Peace
Power
Love control

Youleft me ruined shattered
Tortured
Vulnerable
You battered disrespected degraded and
And   disregarded my spirit
You denied my feelings my thoughts my beliefs my request  my despair
because remember, feeling isnt fair
My willingness to make love not war
I

The indifference inhumanely referenced

The nagging for censory sends down my spine misery

The audacity!

**** people make me so unhappy

The gull what is inside their skull?

The disbelief what is said through teeth

**** people are evil


Whoever told you looking outside would give you insight,
Is only, but halfway right

However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder;
Mother earth is only as pretty as you hold her

So adhere I am to my failed attempt
My less than writing contempt
I feel stray, alone; unkempt
My body loathes rest
I can't read, or digest

No matter my effort, I place dead last
Here is to my crew;
Thanks for the cast
When it is all done it is said
To be past
I think what a thought to forget
What memoirs regret so fast

If I headed my way
I'd shy away pain in stance it came
I'd shun it's very shame width
I'd do so away with the spite in me,
To spare my height, I shallow
The bottom of my depth
Although it has proved aimless,
I shall continue to play pawn, like chess
I'll come back; I'll regress

.

Hope right here
revere  .
on my chest
hard x
hd
premium tv
I hang on
because
hope needs me

.

Today
Tomorrow,
Yesterday
And
Every
Way
In
Between
A
Day

Each
Is­
One
Less
Of
A
Day,
In 
Some
Unexplainable
Way
I
Have
You
To
Expl­ain
Away..

What
Could
I
Possibly
Say,
When
You
Ask
Me
How
I
Feel­
About
You???

I propose I don't feel a bout you;

I feel you.

Your presence,
Your passion,
Your devotion..

I feel it
I feel you..

I'm spinning in motion
Fluid with ample emotion,
To flood the grandest ocean..

I feel it in quotation;
"My world"
I feel it in rotation

I 
Feel
You.

I
Love
You.

I
Do.

I really, really do.

I feel I should thank you,
I must thank you..

For you, I'm so grateful
Be it a cause without you;
I'd be a cause to be lost,
A reason to be hateful..

It's five a.m. I am dawn over, yet again..

I am the water I drink, the food I eat, the air I breathe, the sleep I sleep, the music I hear, the people I see, the places I go, the content I read, the player in my games, the epitome of lame, the disorder I blame, the weeping I wax & wane;
Chaos in a flame

I am the cigarettes I smoke brand name, unruly & untamed, the pride that I coincide with not having shame in who I am, the crazy in my eyes, my daughter's surprise, my fear's accomplice, my mother's only child;
What's worse, I'm wild

My father's little girl, my hair when I twist, & decide to give it a curl, I am five feet, seven inches short, I am a case to dispute, I do mind trivial pursuit, I am the upchuck I hurled, when I found myself among this world, I am dawned before sunset, I am still susceptible to surprise, I have blue/green eyes, I still can't see why god loves ugly, I am critique in concrete, on this couch I have a seat, three cats;
All lying around above below or beside me

I am beside myself, I need mental health, I scream with my mouth, still no one hears me out, I am down & about it, I gave up long ago, I am wishy washy windy, I cry tears laden with doubt, I too often have something that I worry about, I have been spread too thin;
I am disheartened on a whim

I am a cracked ***, I am a blossom out of stock, I am a non smoking ****, I don't get blown away like the leaves, I have skin that needs to breathe, I left my body because it's a pet peeve, I shed hair in long strands;
I am overthinking needing a weeve

I am punch drunk, I need sleep like I never slept, my pillows head away, I swept them up, put them down for a rainy day, yes I am a classifiable clown, I make path my own way, If only the right hook is in town, I am able to smile at my frown;

B E C A U S E   I   L O V E   T H E E   D E E P   D O W N

Regurgitating
All regret ascertaining,
Complaining..

So to speaking
To start saying,
Little red roaring rare
So feral
is it not fair

Debating whether she
Turns down up and coming
To spare into the night
Thoughtful plight,
And she might

because lately you're so ******* shady
I need a pad just to soak the sun up
*******, you are deliverengly lazy
character is built by the things we do when no one is looking
to be judged for sins we are sick for living in
we both are given the same amount of time
your intentions aren't a fraction as good as mine
and your actions; delayed dissatisfaction
the misery your company loves

Caught up in the laws you provide
In order to survive
Who you are and WHY??!!

you are so catastrophically
****** up in your ******* mind
DOES NOT MATTER TO ME

Nor does the idea "not scared of any judge anymore"
**** block all you want,
I'm still gonna score..

Out right
Left in cut short
A little less retort could more
For sure of sorts,
For what peace of mind the ego of pride
Mind you deny,
So shall you continue to try
You know you are a diabolical fish out of water,
So you drown yourself
You don't respect me
So why not let feelings abide

I feel like ****
Remember it

The art of breaking down a box hasn't a hat to match
The art of breaking down an animal,
Breaking down a human being
Well let's define meaning;
We will wreak carnage
We will be savages,
Ravine all that is before or bestowed upon us
Settled into content with no remorse or resent,
A prudent taught into a student
Intuitive

But the dawn is what brings us in
To a new day again & again,
From head to tail we spin
As do bottle tops & drunks from gin,
What the **** is zen
When the world we live in
Is sin isn't it insane

There is something to say with being deprived
Of everything short of the sun,
That with freedom comes undone
You don't even feel like one
Whole isn't your sum,
Not even half
You are apart to every nothing to start at something
Would be anything I am willing
I am able
I am always able, body permitting
Which can always be shaped for fitting
I am seen as an incapable, which to me is indivisible
I don't want your sympathy
For I am an individual my belief is incomprehensible

It is you
That I still desire

So I must get high er
And high er

Than did
Amelia 
Like 
Earhart

High er
And high er

You drift
Furth er
With
My heart
Apart

Somebody!
Anybody!
Will you just please
Step as to-wards
Start the part
Where, when it 
All did start 

When 
Your grip
Grew tight er..

Take me with spite
Ravage 
Me with you in
Hale me 
With smoke
Me in
Out slowly
In
Out
In
Out

You
Breath
Me

You weep me
When need be
Like a tree does
You leave me

A drug induced
Hung er
You feed me
High er

You offer me 
An all night er

Life had
Never been 
Oh so much
Bright er!

Let me go back,
Back to then
When I didn't know
The things at me
Life would throw

Round 
And around
And around
I would go

Where'st the wind
Take me now,
I shall
Soon to know

What had been
What could of been
Should've been

Back then

Just lie here,
Lie here
Next to;
Beside me
As if to
Forget all that
You had lied to me

I would ask
Then,
If I could go
Back when

Round 
And around
And around
We, would go

We sure
Did spin
Back then
Way back when..


A schreech
Then a halt,
This was out 
Out of even 
My reach

We came
To a stop
How?
Why?
Your grip
Unraveled,
You had let go

Muffled 
My words were,
Like you, they too
Had gotten away from me

I sensed 
You looking
While I
Listened in
To the
Wind blow

What you,
For me
Had store, 
No, not
Couture

Hell, I wasn't
Even sure
If you were

Twas the
Saddest
Of ever a surprise,
As you 
Right looked me
In the eyes

Panic 
Fell within me;
Piercing
Fell upon me

As did your eyes

You asked 
Are you ******* happy?

No.
No. I replied.
I'm not.
Not when 
You're not

Forgive me not
Forget I will not,
What your revenge filled resent
Has taught

Bombers & bloggers
Tragedy is triumphant 
Traffic gathers in a tweaked intersection divide
Wreaking of those fuming with exhaustion  
Speed, cause you prefer the highway

Political in place of partial
The news carries dismay
Where is such trouble in this world you say?

Posing proposing, regulating;
Marijuana laws are changing
Complaining of taxing & weighing

Football, do you recalls, & puppy dogs,
Amber alerts & nostalgia where it hurts
Once again the news contright  
Cut short cause it draaaags
Ruthless the truth is;
Everywhere you go, there the news is
You can't lose it, tied around your neck the noose is

Bed bugs It has;
Talking of spread shoots, ***** mags
This celebrity, the new 'fad', & that old hag

Throw up on the rag;

Forget it

You find it as though you never left it
Left off, the truth you find
Left over
The lies you leave behind

I'll never be too old for dumb
For reasons of being too young
I anticipate to fall fate at a time too late
To experience sober

Come over, come over
My reluctance is high sprung
I tell you of trying times
For reasons of those which even I know not of why;
Left to chance, wasn't an option

Many times have I found try
Even if not among the rest, to be best
Tried & true, I still carry inside my chest
Lessons learned somehow still at rest
Little do I know
But experience, nonetheless

Cold shoulder to cold shoulder
How I cry, no matter the why

Exhibiting symptoms
Of past resentment
Pretention

I bear down apprehension 
Though, not failing to mention
I put my pride up for trade
To bid wade, to draw attention
In place
Retention 
Tension
In its place

All that I have lost; Redemption


                      Sick as sorrow
The needles vein I will borrow
Will beg & become of tomorrow;
But for today a heated drum
Banging words that go ***
Bitter shame 
Brighter shun

Perhaps I have come too far undone
Outdone 
I'm spun
Anyone??

The sun above
My feelings below
I think too much
I think
I think about my head hitting a pillow
Muffling the sounds my heart yearns to wallow
When ever I think of all I've done & said,
Of all I'm ashamed of
My hands are always holding my head


I reach for a release
A quick yet satisfying cease
Before long 
Sense begins to
Ease


I'm rich & famous
Were all lies, the blame is
Inside of me; the name is
Melanie


All the times I've been awake to witness a new sunrise

I left the lies
I held hope up
But the feelings that surmise
Couldnt keep my head up
It just illuminized 
More revealutions, I came up
Brightened my eyes
I saught to see it all add up

That is the truth, I see

I say this as I see it
All lies left behind
One with, I've gone & done it
The truth, I've come to find  
Brings much ease of mind
I've become it
The truth was up to find
It knows not of bounds
Truth is where the heart lies

Founded truth, is homeward bound;
Lies I left behind, for truth to found

Left behind all the wonder
Lies awake
Shake, shiver, & without cover
Would be a mistake
Anything other
You're sure to discover
Lying awake;
Open enough to recover

tremble, you soon recover



Needs revised

I am a reason to why
I am a treason to you & I
I am the grey in the sky
I am the very reason you deny

I am complicated
I am simplified
I am ridiculed 
I am ridiculous
I am hideous 
I am insidious
I am blunt like obvious 
I am nothing of this
I am everything to dis
I am not but everything

I am the cause of because
The accused of excuse
The present of the past
The taunt in your haunting
The mad behind your madness
I am sad, thus I only bring you sadness
The miss in your miss me
I am the reason you miss me

The stress in your distress
A mistress, except to you
A denial when its not true
I do nothing for you
This time I am telling you

I am stone cold, ten fold
I con to pro
I am oh so inconsiderate
I am probably illiterate 

My illustrations don't straighten ****
My demonstration is constrained
Disorderly, ashamed

Late like last night
Ahead during daylight
I am fine like irate
Chump change like castrate
I am last rate
I am vacuumed enough
 
I am in innovative 
Therefore 
I am freezing this..