I always questioned if the devil was real.

Was grown up on secrets and lies, tucking things under the rug.
Forcing a smile on my lips, and praying to god for a better tomorrow.
And some days it would work, and others it wouldn't so I had a leap of faith.

Some may think the devil isn't real, but I can assure you he is.
And we happen to call him Addiction.
Grew inside my body like wildfire.

I never wanted to be like you.

I let smoke fill my lungs, my eyes starting to fade low.
Genius. Hey, what a fix for the time being.

I have *** for the first time ever.
Numb.
Is this love?

Not even *** could fulfill the high I was searching for.
Dark.

I was itching for the urge to feel nothing at all.

And then I met you,
and with meeting you I met many, many other things.

Pretty little pill, where have you been all my life?
Allowing the world to blur around me.
Numb.
"Hello? Are you in there anymore?"

"No."

I look at myself in the mirror.
Who are you?

"Never again." I say.
But we all know how that goes.

I fill the wrong people into my lungs,
as if I love the pain.

Do I?

I push people that are good for me away.
Why do they want to fix me?

Bury me.
Bury me, deep, deep under.

What's the point of being alive if this life is a lie?
Tell me?
Why won't anyone tell me?

Slowly they are going to close my lungs up until I have no air.
And I will slowly fade away from earth,
leaving those who truly loved me in nothing but sadness.

Don't be sad.
For I am happy this has happened.

Why would I want to suffer on this thing called "Earth?"

They will say "too young and beautiful to die." but I say,
"too sad and broken to live."

What are you waiting for?

You didn't know how bad you hurt me,
You weren't exactly the one holding the knife -
but you shoved it more inside my helpless body to add onto the pain.
The pain that had been there far before you.
But everyone I meet one way or another has left wounds on me, deep or faint cuts.
But I sew them back up and let them slither into a puddle of my dead memories.
Cause you know, who really gives a ****?

One look into your eyes and I feel an electric tingle from in-between my legs,
Our lips cling as if they were magnetic.
Our tongues dance, and your hands start to roam.
Removing each particle of clothing from off each other.
Revealing nothing but the most vulnerable layers of ourselves.

I'm dying to feel something vibrant bloom inside me,
but my insides are filled with nothing but emptiness and gloom.
I dust that tinted peach color blush onto the apples of my cheeks,
to give my bone-white skin a flush of color --
So my rotting insides don't match the outside.

You were just a flavor of the week,
but I've learned that cherry wasn't my favorite.
Even though you leave me a little weak --
on my knees and vulnerable.
No matter how many times I try to savor it,
it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

It's hard to read you,
you are like a mystery and I am like a detective,
eager to figure you out,
with piercing green eyes,
you look so intensely at me,
like you've got me all figured out but I haven't had one clue about you.
And then you f*cked me,
and it was like I could feel the intensity of what goes on inside you,
like I got a piece of the puzzle,
but I'm still left here; dying of the curiousity of what really sits,
behind those green eyes.

She's kind.
But don't mistake her kindness for weakness,
she'll spit poison right in-between your lips.
"She's like a Scorpion", they say.
She'll cause a hurricane and watch you decay.
She'll always get her way,
but from this day,
You will no longer mistake her kindness for weakness.

She sits behind those lonely eyes,
believing all those pretty little lies,
that you spit into her ear.
When will someone ever be sincere?
I don't know how to make myself clear,
but I'm more than just a ***** or a ******* lending ear.
She just wants to disappear.

She sits behind those lonely eyes,
Allowing guy after guy in-between her thighs,
Knowing she'll still feel alone,
Feeling like she was only skin and bone,
When will someone ever show her the ropes?
She's just about to lose hope.

She sits behind those lonely eyes,
But one day she seems surprised,
She found someone who is kind,
Lit a fire inside her, now she's ******* alive.
As time flies by,
He has made her realize she no longer has to sit behind lonely eyes.

You ever glance at someone and think what they are thinking about?
Like the first time they fell in love,
or the first time they did drugs.
Or maybe they are thinking about you,
or maybe they don't even think about you at all.

Wouldn't it be lovely?
To believe people when they say they love me -
To shut off all these thoughts that push and shove me,
To not dance with the demons that corrupt me.

Wouldn't it be lovely?
To wear a smile on my face and mean it.
To not always feel so ******* heavy and defeated.
To feel like I have a ******* reason -
To keep on breathing.

Wouldn't it be ******* lovely?

Where are you Vampire Boy?
With your whips, chains, and toys --
So ****** and enticing,
I might even let you bite me.

You're cold like winter,
but beautiful like summer.
You ****** me and left me in a despairing puddle.
I was only trying not to collapse,
so I cut off all my hair and colored it black,
making mistakes and leaving a bad track.
You're one heartless soul,
you put me in a choke hold and not the way I wanted,
As time goes on your name is slowly dissolving,
Lingering out of my head,
removing the needle from the thread.
I want to wish you were dead,
but I'll let Karma work her special spread.