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Meg Apr 2018
I am alive by luck at this point.
I wonder if the gun that will eventually take me has been made.
Whose trigger will bury me.
How many bullets, like a flock of sparrows, will come carry my life to its final bed.
Today, I am alive but there is no law to thank.
If not me, then someone else.
Born into a game of chance we never asked for. Traded diplomas for obituaries. Traded graduation speeches for eulogies. Traded futures for an early grave. Forced to cash in their chips. We don’t want to play anymore.
And this too is eulogy. And this too is prayer. And this too can resurrect the coffin wood back to a tree. Can sing back alive whatever parts of you died with them. Whatever leapt in your throat at yet another headline.
Mourning until you, too, are a thing to mourn.
But we will no longer be martyrs.
We are the rude awakening to politicians who pawned out our safety, who bartered our lives for bribes.
You say “gun reform is not the answer” but all I can see is a bullet rattling like a pinball in an innocent student’s jaw.
You smell like gun smoke and
I can see the AR15 you're holding behind your back and
I guess it's easy to crack jokes about dodging bullets when you're the one firing them.
Give teachers books not bullets:
Kafka isn’t kevlar.
Bronte isn’t bulletproof.
And how sick is it that we must add school shootings to your list of proud american traditions.
Throwing opinions like punches.
How many more have to die before you decide your ego isn’t as important as you think it is?
And I, too, am buried alive
My soggy grave parting its greedy lips.
To you, my bones, when ground into gunpowder and mixed into water, taste like champagne.
My pulse, as thin as an obituary panting beneath sweaty palms, and sure
We are “just kids,”
But you are forgetting we are the next generation
And you autopsy your fists.
Call it reclamatory.
Lately, when asked “how are you?” I respond with a name no longer living.
And who knows if mine will be next
Performed this yesterday in my first poetry slam and won second place :)
Feb 2018 · 301
Fire Escape
Meg Feb 2018
He will not come dressed in a red cape and horns, no, it is so much more than that. He will masquerade as everything you’ve ever wanted. Deception is the name of the game and he knows exactly what he is doing.
Little girls who play with fire get their fingers burned and I’m still picking the soot out from underneath my fingernails.
You see, it is easy to mistake the flames for light when you don’t know any better.
Things that promise light seldom go unheard, and he isn’t any different. It sounds a little less like a fire alarm, a little more like a siren song.
And though he sets your heart ablaze, he will fill your lungs with smoke, I promise you. That is not what they mean when they say he takes your breath away.
Boys like him will only starve all of the oxygen from the room and leave you choking.
He will lick the kerosene from your palms and tell you it will quell the flames.
And he will make you believe that this is what it feels like to finally be warm.
But there is no safety in the tongues of burnished flame.
Don’t let your dignity go up in smoke.
They say fire and gunpowder do not sleep together…
Darling, be the gunpowder.
Where there is smoke, there is always fire.
Darling, he is the fire.
So follow it back to him.
After all, he is the one who started it
Darling, finish it.
Rise from the ashes of the one who thought he was fireproof all along.
Feb 2018 · 176
Meg Feb 2018
poetry drips off of your tongue like honey
I wonder if you kiss me will I be able to taste it
maybe then i’ll have some honey too
Feb 2018 · 153
paint the town red
Meg Feb 2018
and honey you know they could paint the town red with the blood they lick from our palms
Feb 2018 · 131
Meg Feb 2018
And I wonder how many calories are in the flesh of the inside of my cheeks
Feb 2018 · 150
Meg Feb 2018
You must clip your dead ends if you want to grow
And honey I ain’t just talking about hair
Feb 2018 · 119
glass grenade
Meg Feb 2018
I am told I must be loved as if it is dangerous to drop me, but I cannot decide if I am glass or a grenade.
Maybe both.
Feb 2018 · 132
Meg Feb 2018
I might as well change my name to Secondhand Smoke. Nothing more than roadkill. Not a tragedy: an eyesore.
Feb 2018 · 262
Meg Feb 2018
In a world where playing dead is safer than speaking up, I rise.
I rise.
Feb 2018 · 103
Meg Feb 2018
I’ve been biting my tongue for so long that blood is dripping down my chin
Feb 2018 · 126
almost bilingual
Meg Feb 2018
Is my second language.
I try to speak in the tongues of the greats:
World leaders, activists, rebels.
I attempt to curl my tongue around the foreign syllables of Self-assurance,
Too heavy to dictate with the proper connotations.
You see, I am still learning this language.
I conjugate with firm handshakes,
Pronounce with eye contact,
Communicate with poise...
Some of the time.
You see, I am not yet fluent in this vocabulary,
Cannot articulate with precision my identity.
I hear the echoes of voices rolling consonants and vowels off their lips like a hymn:
Some people have spoken it since birth,
Have merely acquired it.
Others, like me, have had to work for it,
Have had to force our mouths into alien configurations,
Into abstract lingual shapes, learning how to speak the way a fawn learns to walk:
Gawkily and with a resigned unfamiliarity.
My native tongue cannot enunciate all of the curves and straight edges of Fearlessness,
But ******* does it try.
My voice’s inflection is heavily accented with uncertainty;
Anyone who hears me knows that confidence is not my first language.
But that does not mean that my voice will break on the bones of my past mistakes.
It does not mean I cannot speak the words without my chin up, eyes unblinking, voice unwavering, as un-fluent as it may be.
It does not mean that my accented second language is any less correct than your first.
I am training my mouth to say “no” in a different language,
To say “no” with my mouth closed.
Letters drip off of my tongue like honey but not half as sweet.
But who dictates verbalization?
Who decides that my speech is too broken to accommodate coherent oration
I ask you:
is this soapbox sermon any less fluent than our history textbooks?
Is my broken English any less multifaceted than yours?
I will tell you
My lack of coherent eloquence is no less worthy of my lungs than of yours.
Feb 2018 · 91
Meg Feb 2018
Honey don’t you know that conscience makes cowards of us all but so does ignorance
Feb 2018 · 94
Meg Feb 2018
Whoever said nothing dries sooner than a tear must have never had their heart broken
Feb 2018 · 90
Meg Feb 2018
When I look at you I see women’s flesh that you wear like animal pelts from another victorious conquest and I wonder whose face you will wear next and I wonder if it will be mine
Feb 2018 · 90
Meg Feb 2018
And boy when you grow into your predatory grin you will know I was right
Feb 2018 · 89
Meg Feb 2018
Boys taught to equate harassment to flirtation grow into men with flesh-eating hands
Feb 2018 · 88
Meg Feb 2018
Don’t eulogize me before my body’s even cold
Feb 2018 · 124
Meg Feb 2018
Spinning your lies into gold
Feb 2018 · 244
Meg Feb 2018
Why do your lips taste like fools’ gold
Feb 2018 · 104
Meg Feb 2018
And what am I if not collateral damage
Feb 2018 · 76
Meg Feb 2018
I wonder what language they will write my obituary in
Aug 2017 · 175
Meg Aug 2017
He built a wall
But honey don't you know that fallen walls become bridges
Jul 2017 · 538
Meg Jul 2017
I don't believe in heaven
But sleeping in your arms is the closest I'll ever come
I would rather sleep next to you than experience heaven for the rest of my life.
May 2017 · 719
Meg May 2017
your energy is intoxicating
if this is addiction
i don't ever want to be sober
Meg May 2017
Dear misogynists,

Let’s be very clear here.
Boys are not ******* by nature. It’s not in their genetic makeup to automatically be mean-spirited or cruel. Being born with a ***** does not predispose anyone to being the kind of person whose hands make a welcome mat of my hipbones, who licks his lips as if looking at an appetizer, whose breath laced with tequila, privilege, and desperation slurs "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, baby?" from the other side of the street.
Genetics does not do that. Society does.

Dear misogynists,

It is the reason I know Title IX better than my own social security number. It is the reason I have to clench my keys in white-knuckled fists when I walk home from school. It is the reason I avoid eye contact at all costs because that "counts as permission." It is the reason I am told my mouth is useless unless he's the one putting something in it. It is the reason women all over this ******* planet get asked "Well... What were you wearing?" because apparently my outfit speaks louder than my voice, but you must not have met me because I can be pretty **** loud.

Dear misogynists,

It is the reason I am told "You know boys won't like you if you don't stop with that feminist crap." Who the **** asked you? If you think that passionately wanting equality and not being afraid to voice that is "crap," I don't want you to like me anyway; in fact, I want you as far away from me as ******* possible. I don't give a **** about your disapproval and I never will.

Dear misogynists,

Maybe you're right - "locker room talk" is as American as baseball, or apple pie, or roofies. "How could he possibly help himself? If he saw you in that dress, what was he supposed to do? NOT assume you wanted him??"
YES. That's exactly what he was supposed to do: NOT assume I wanted him, or anyone else in the room for that matter. Stop excusing ****** harassment because "boys will be boys;" my skirt is not an invitation, nor is anything but the sober word "yes" - and I include the word "sober" because yes, it does make a difference.

Dear misogynists,

So no. I don't give a ****.
And no. I won't stop with "that feminist crap."
And no. Boys will not be boys. Boys will be held accountable for their actions, just like everybody else.
And yes. I do kiss my mother with this mouth, but you can keep dreaming.

Signed, a Feminist
Slam poem
May 2017 · 298
adventure girl
Meg May 2017
Remember the adventure girl you used to be?
The girl who lived in the woods on weekends and only came home for dinner? (But never on time)
The girl with flowers in her hair and a smile on her face?
The girl who believed she could control the wind and the sea?
The girl with scabbed knees and blonde bangs and curls?
The tree climber?
The blow-a-dandelion-and-make-a-wish girl?
The girl who jumped in mud puddles and didn't think twice that her skirt was *****?
The play-pretend cloud-watcher?
The girl who wanted to fly?
I wonder where she is now and if she would like me.
Meg May 2017
They don't tell you you won't be able to walk down the street without holding your keys between clenched-knuckle fists
That the man on the train whose breath smells like whiskey and desperation will smile at you like a prize at the fair
That eye contact is "permission"
That your outfit speaks louder than your voice
That no matter what you say it won't matter because your skirt length has already confessed to the crime
That fighting for equality is equated to hysterical misandry
That not shaving your legs for a week is essentially social suicide
That you will be accused of plagiarism over and over because "there's no way YOU could have written this"
That girls who refuse to smile when they're told are "*******" but girls who do are "asking for it" (oh and girls who look over but don't smile are "teases")
That your mouth is useless unless he's the one putting something in it
That "you know boys won't like you if you don't stop with that feminism crap" who the **** asked you? If "that feminist crap" prevents me from getting a boy to like me, how could I POSSIBLY go on with my life, right? I wouldn't want to be near someone who frowns upon my right as a human being, let alone date them so no I don't give a **** and no I won't stop with "that feminist crap" and yes
I do kiss my mother with this mouth, not that you'd ever find out for yourself
Apr 2017 · 244
Meg Apr 2017
you smell like gun smoke and
i can see the shotgun you're holding behind your back and
i guess it's easy to crack jokes about dodging bullets when you're the one firing them
Apr 2017 · 1.1k
Meg Apr 2017
if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
if a teenager commits suicide and no one is around to notice, did they ever exist? when you look at it that way, high school feels a lot like deforestation
Apr 2017 · 282
s p a c e
Meg Apr 2017
isn't it funny how a woman's worth is dependent on how little she exists? "lose weight, take up less space, shut your mouth, stay out of sight until we want to use you" we become shadows, we become all the places the light doesn't quite touch, we become translucent whispers of what could have been
Mar 2017 · 1.0k
toxic relationships
Meg Mar 2017
a little less like an alarm,
a little more like being trapped in a burning building,
mistaking the fire for warmth,
mistaking the heat for passion,
mistaking the smoke for breathless bliss,
but things that promise light seldom go unheard,
and you aren't any different
Different style of my last poem
Mar 2017 · 368
siren song of anorexia
Meg Mar 2017
i know it all too well
what sounded at first like the sweet promise of freedom when sung like a breathy ballad tell me what does your siren song sound like? mine sounds like everything i've  ever wanted, like dreams come true. i lived my life in search of warmth and light but i didn't realize that house fires seem a lot like warmth and light when you don't know any better. i spent my life throat choking on smoke, eyes watering, lungs starving, flesh burning, and thinking that i had finally been warm is this what it's supposed to feel like? i tell myself it isnt suffocating me, i just can't catch my breath around them, they take my breath away. i cannot hear the siren alarm in my ears to get out, it only sounds like fireworks, and the heat feels like passion. there is no safety in the tongues of burnished white-hot flames like fraudulent deception masquerading as miracles no, no, it is so much more than that.
Feb 2017 · 220
Meg Feb 2017
There's a kind of surreality that comes with depression. I used to hate that word - depression. I used to be afraid of it, as if naming my nightmare would make it more real. I've become accustomed to its manipulation, now - the way its self-hatred coils inside you, the way its fear winds itself around each of your ribs, the way it twines against your collarbones and strangles you and steals your breath, the way it makes a home of your body by becoming your body, by becoming you.
Your parents always warn you about strangers, but what if the stranger is you?
Feb 2017 · 223
Meg Feb 2017
Sometimes it's more than enough to live and not want to live but to keep on living.
Give yourself some credit <3
Jan 2017 · 256
Meg Jan 2017
i miss make-believe raindrop races on window panes down the highway.
i miss puddle jumping in dirt roads.
i miss muddy sunflower boots.
i miss hiding giggles behind daisy patches during hide-and-seek.
i miss scraped knees and climbing trees.
i miss forest picnics by the river.
i miss jumping from porches, believing i was invincible, even after breaking my wrist.
i miss feeling magical and powerful and important.
Jan 2017 · 1.5k
Meg Jan 2017
do not be fooled - depression is not
depression is seeing scarlet
but not being able to feel the fire's burnished tongue.
depression is seeing aquamarine
but not savoring the feeling of drowning in saltwater lungs.
depression is seeing burgundy
but no longer being able to taste red wine in your throat
or pomegranate seeds between your teeth
or sunsweet berries on your tongue.

*depression is seeing color
but not understanding it.
Those who say depression makes the world seem in monochromatic shades of grey don't understand depression.
Jan 2017 · 669
Meg Jan 2017
demons rarely come dressed
in a red cape and horns.
they come dressed as
everything you've ever wanted.
Dec 2016 · 1.6k
needle & thread
Meg Dec 2016
sewing the open wounds shut
hurts just as much
as the wounds themselves
Nov 2016 · 299
Meg Nov 2016
why does everyone say
that we must try to love each other
by overcoming our differences?
we should love each other,
not in spite of our differences,
but because of them
Nov 2016 · 392
pretty or dying
Meg Nov 2016
someone once told me
no one cares unless you're

but it scares me
how often those two overlap
Nov 2016 · 581
perfect little angel
Meg Nov 2016
I will not only speak when spoken to
I do not belong to you
I do not belong to anyone
I am not a prize to be won
Not a trophy to collect dust on a forgotten shelf
Not a perfect doll with lifeless eyes
Not a possession
Not a territory for you to mark
Not a piece of meat
Not whatever you want me to be

And yes
I do kiss my mother with this mouth
Don't get your hopes up
Nov 2016 · 418
little girls are bonfires
Meg Nov 2016
dear little girls,

who taught you to open your legs before opening your mouth?
who taught you that the only use for a woman's lips is anything other than speaking her mind?
who taught you that women who say "leave me alone" are worth less than those who say "yes, daddy"?
who taught you that the fire behind your eyes should be snuffed out?

Those people are the worst teachers who little girls like you are learning the most from.
I say, look those people in the face and say "*******."

That flame behind those fierce eyes of yours?
If it will set the world ablaze, I say let it.
I say let gasoline fall like rain.
I say dance in the ashes of the world that thought it was fireproof.
I say
Nov 2016 · 625
Meg Nov 2016
my bones are hollow
like those of a mother bird's
but when i force myself to throw up,
the only child i am feeding
is the madness
that lives in the nest
of my own mind
Nov 2016 · 314
Meg Nov 2016
i swallow my pride like maggots
in cocoons of silence,
and when they turn into butterflies
fluttering in my stomach
i want to *****
but he steals them from my throat
and tacks their wings to his wall
Nov 2016 · 328
"asking for it"
Meg Nov 2016
i'm sorry, since when was my shoulder an invitation?
since when were my shorts a request?
since when did anything but my mouth spell out the word "yes"?
since when did "no" mean "yes"?
since when did wearing shorts make me desperate,
but isn't that what you were begging for?
you say i'm a **** for showing my shoulders,
but isn't that what you wanted in the first place?
it's when the guidance counselor says,
"well, what were you wearing?"
that you should know there is a problem.
Did I ******* stutter?
Nov 2016 · 327
ghost stories
Meg Nov 2016
i spend my time
reading ghost stories
and seeing myself in them.
my every footstep becomes a graveyard,
my every word a tombstone,
and I am now the ghost who haunts them.
it's fun to visit a haunted house
once, maybe twice
but no one wants to live there.
if ringing my doorbell is a joke,
then my love is only the punch line
Nov 2016 · 279
Meg Nov 2016
if depression = darkness
i'm no longer afraid of the dark,
but perhaps that's part of the problem
Nov 2016 · 342
Meg Nov 2016
every night
i check under my bed
for monsters
but never my mirror
Nov 2016 · 644
Meg Nov 2016
my body is a temple
but i don't believe
in the god it was built for
Nov 2016 · 973
Meg Nov 2016
she wore her pain like a crown
and she was the queen
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