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Phoenix Jan 2020
all the noises echoing around me,
the sounds getting stuck
bouncing around inside my skull,
the feet tapping
those pens dropping
that page turning
my mind as clear as a blizzard day,
hearing every little creek,
over and over,
higher and higher,
faster and faster,
my brain never stops,
these sounds can’t escape,
nobody can see it, but…

…the silence has never been so loud
my anxiety gets triggered when I hear as small as tapping a pen on the table to as big as clapping/applause. This is my daily struggle at school.
Phoenix Jan 2020
The crashing feeling
The stress inducing
The nauseating
The heart racing


Constant fear
Constant feelings of doubt
The feeling that something bad
Is going to happen
I wish for no more
I wish for no more    
This was written exactly a year ago, I’m kinda better now
Phoenix Oct 2018
One like
Two like
Three like
Four like


One follow
Two follow
Three follow
Four follow
Why does that first like turn into an addiction
Why does that first like turn into happiness
Why does that first follow turn into an addiction
Why does that first follow turn into happiness

Why when the likes stop
the follows stop
Does the sadness and hopeless fill a soul
I personal don’t like this poem as much as the other but I still think that you should show the progress you’ve made by not hiding your lesser pieces
Phoenix Oct 2018
Be quite
They will judge you
They don’t understand
They want you to stay silent
If you talk they won’t care
Your feeling don’t matter
This is an example of some of the thought that go through my head for time to time
Phoenix Oct 2018
Should I keep hiding it from them
Should I not talking to them
Should I tell these secrets  
Should I try to not be so good at hiding my tears
hiding my pain
hiding my stress
hiding my thoughts
hiding me

If I could tell them all the stuff I’m hiding
I still wouldn’t
Phoenix Oct 2018
Once when I was little, I had to go to a nicer place and I needed something “fancy”
What is fancy? Is it a dress with a bow or a suit with a tie…
Is fancy a stereotype of gender or is it just clothing…
Is fancy a GIRL in a dress and a bow or is it a BOY in a suit and tie

How can I be fancy if I am not the girl in the dress or the boy in the suit
This was written when I was confused about my gender and at the time I said I was genderfluid, I’m rereleasing it( January 7th 2020) because it part of my work and I shouldn’t hide it from the public
Phoenix Oct 2018
Why am I feel theses feelings
Why do they not care
Why do they just want to help them and not me
What’s wrong with me
Why don’t they help me
Why do they ignore me
What do they hate about me
I wrote this when I was super anxious and shaking at school and some start to cry and in my state I thought that no one cared
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