If there’s one
thing that I
crave more
than to be
happy, it’s

                                   death
I don’t want
to end things
by my own
hand, but it

                                   would
not be terrible
for it to happen,
whatever the
method may

                                    be
I feel like an
easy and
quick death
would be

                                    preferable to
pain and
endless hurt
and struggles.
All I have now
with this “gift” of

                                     living
is endless and
painful torment
that usually
only belongs in

                                     hell.

Pain.
It's tempting.
Hidden in hearts
That hold onto memories.
Addiction.

Healing.
It's reluctant.
The mind fails
But it always continues.
Affliction.

There are was a time,
I asked the dear Sun,
why can't he steal,
the night away?

He said,
he loved the moon,
he had to die,
every night.

But how does
a star explain
the loneliness
I felt that day?

When I loved,
I never cared,
the reasons why,
we mattered.

But when you left,
I calculated
chemicals and dark matter
to solve a broken heart.

The mystery
remains in cosmos
yet the pain
was real enough.

Can you feel the ache in my chest?
Can you touch the cracks in my heart?
Can you tell where my soul begins,
And where it's been torn all apart?

I'm made of sharp edges and pieces fit with super glue
Can you feel it?
I'm a heartless enigma and a soulless slice of truth
Can you feel it?
Enemies make the best friends and now I hate you
Can you feel it?

Lies are like a bullet to my heart, filling me with holes
A feeling of emptiness overwhelms me, a space too bold
Trying to hold on tight to a tangle too tied to unfold
Lost in a web of pain too damaged to be controlled

I'm made of broken glass, chipped and shattered
Can you feel it?
I'm an empty shell of something that once mattered
Can you feel it?
Pieces are falling, a love now bruised and battered
Can you feel it?

The harmony of injustice is ringing in my ears
A lullaby of sweet nothings and my childhood fears
A common trend unfolds, a chorus of chants and tears
A pain ripples through my body and the monster finally appears

Can you feel it?

I have never felt its stillness diffuse its way into my abyss.
I have never felt its cool potency soothe away the pain.
I can only imagine its fluidity cloaking my body like a warm knitted blanket that I so long for.
I have never dreamed of water.

I stand before you

Bare, bold, naked

To hold a mirror

Against your hatred

Place a battered hand on my innocence,

It's been 5 years but a scar never leaves,

A closed mouth pleads the best for help.

All my life I've been speechless only because when

I lift up my shirt and I can still see your handprint

Everyday

I still face what is the false indication of love, never got a hug but a hard closed fist.

All because of my innocence.