I know this isn't what you wanted.
Not what you intended.
You just wanted an escape
got tired of the weight.
You carry a heavy burden
it haunts you day by day.
And the day it came upon you
was the day you forever changed.
You tried giving hints.
But nothing seemed to work.
The only thing that happened
was you kept getting hurt.
People laugh and people joke
but none of them really know.
They don't know the nightmare
that you call life.
Don't know how hard it is
to avoid that pocket knife.
You hear a joke, another laugh.
And you cut deep, another ****.
And I pray to God that you see the light
before you accidently risk your own life.

Nobody knows how different I am
The outside of me is not afraid
Not full of pain, or even ashamed
I smile and all of those ignorant fools believe
Of course nothing could be wrong with me
My eyes are dry, I do not shed tears
For that gift was taken away from me dear
I laugh and talk and play along
Keep on existing as if nothings wrong

Nobody knows how different I am
The inside of me is hollow and empty
Do not fret my dear, for I do not want your pity
I'm tattered and broken beyond repair
My heart is crumbling and full of despair
I'm bloodied and beaten and not really living
I just go through the motions and continue existing
I'm scared and lost, clueless as can be
Is there no one out there to help me

Nobody knows how different I am
And that will never change

I talked to you
About all the mixed up stuff
Kept away in my head

You were understanding
And helpful
And it was great
And if felt so much better than usual

You helped me so much
When I thought you would get mad
But you didn't
And I'm so thankful for everything you do

Im soon to trying to be
something that is not me
I'm fading fast like a bruise
almost always I am confused
to the edge you push me far
how high can I raise that bar
I take this blade to my wrist
oh how I relish this
down fall the tears
for a unknown amount of years
no matter what I won't tell
I'll just live in my own private hell
I won't show you what I see
for I'm far too good at faking happy
I close my eyes to sleep tonight
but how quickly they open in fright
for I dream
of things better left unseen
I always tired and dazed
for seeing that leaves me in a haze
covering my unease
isn't a simple breeze
I carefully apply my mask
layer upon layer of makeup another task

Another cut
Another tear
Another reminder
That no one is here

A broken mirror
A bleeding fist
A silver blade against a wrist
Tears fall down to lips unkissed
She's not the one you'll come to miss

Words words
***** and *****
I run away
I slam the door
I take that knife
And cut my skin
Remembering how ******* up my life has been
I lean to the toilet
Throw up to be thin
At school all I have is a grin
I cut,cut and cut some more
Screaming in pain, blood on the floor
People call me emo people laugh in my face
But they haven't even tried to be in my place
My dad just died, my mom has depression
My brother had to go to a therapy session
Why can't people see my grin is a lie
Everything's done for me, my life slowly fades by
Bloods dripping on the floor, I'm screaming in pain
I can't eat because that means more weight to gain
I wish to be perfect, I say it's not fair
I say that I can hear people talking bout my hair
I cut it all off, my soul has been broken
But never did I tell anyone, my words were never spoken
I take the rope, hang myself in the dark
I no longer have that once beating heart
My friends fall to the ground
When they hear the words "She's dead."
My brother cries as he sleeps on my bed
I am gone
I am done
Just because people were making "fun"
I'm buried on a Saturday, people start crying
All because that one girl stopped trying
So before judging someone based on their weight or cloths
Their laugh, their talk, their hair or nose
Just take a moment to realize and see
That everyone is not who they seem to be