I'd hide myself beneath a thousand walls
I'd suffocate, to satisfy the audience
With dying breath, through countless curtain calls
But this is life, it has to be, this penance
Paid for past sins, cancelled shows from long ago
I wear them like armour, the scars deep inside
I fear the wounds to come, the unforeseen blow
Unravelled secrets, truths no longer denied
It doesn't matter, the blood on the floor,
It doesn't matter that I've nothing to say,
For a second on stage, I'm the one they adore,
A moment of heaven in the hell of everyday.
If I could become something else, forever
Unblemished, unfeeling, without any flaws
The perfect artiste in every endeavour
Perhaps I'll finally deserve the applause.

I'm afraid each time I open the door
The dead eyes staring at me, through my skin
Sneering, laughing, taunting, in my head
They won't ever leave, they lie within
I close the door, trying to escape
Stepping slowly, then quickly, to get away
Running, exhausted, even when I'm lost
Every moment filled with unease, dismay.
(And I try, I try, to reach out, to explain
But it's hard to understand invisible pain.)
Everywhere I go, the demons follow
I was a fool to think I'd outrun them all
Who am I, if I'm nothing without them?
When the end comes, will they stay when I fall?

i wish i understood the songs of requited love
more frequently
than i wept to the songs of heartbreak

If I could let everyone know
All the death I feel inside
Revealing when I feel low
I don't know if they'd be surprised
Maybe they saw, and did not ask
Maybe they knew, and kept away
I don't know which I would prefer...
I'd like a 'How are you today?'

Little match girl
Standing on a sidewalk
Seeing a world move on
You know you will be gone
Will anyone remember
Your words forged by pain,
Aching to be read,
Your tunes searching for hope,
Pleading to be heard,
Your voice, weak, feeble,
But unlike any other?
There wasn't time
To get through fear
To show them who you are
Alas, you lie, awake
Buried in books
Waiting for your last breath
Listening to this elegy
Was life worth it?
Are you proud
Of who you have become?
Could you have done better
If you had more time?

Strangled to death
By a noose of intricate lies
That used to keep me alive.

If there's anything that serves as a guide
If there's an instruction manual out there
Titled "How to get through what you're feeling"
Or "For Dummies- Life's a *****, it's not fair"
I'd read it, I'd absorb every word, every phrase
I'd apply it to myself, I'd help others facing the same
I won't be frozen, I won't be struck speechless
I hope I'm not playing an impossible game
Tell me the lessons, I'll get through the tests
Lend me blueprints, cryptographs, codes, a sign
Don't leave me in the dust, paralyzed, numb
Don't make me pretend like everything's fine.