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My soul has gone
And passed me by.
O lord,
Am I misery's child?
Everything has gone wrong.
Should I even wait the while?

Nineteen years ago,
I was born to a woman
I've yet to get to know.
She would holler and cuss me
Up and down,
Beating me into a mist
With an open fist as well as her
Fiery words.
Despite my vane efforts,
She said she could never resist.

I tried to expose her vanity once.
She broke a mirror
And slit my throat with the biggest shard.
As she did so,
I heard her say
"Toughen up, because this life is hard."

My tears drove the blood off the glass
As I sat flat on my ***,
Reflecting upon who I was
As the mirror foretold
Who I would not become:

A horrible woman
Destroying what she was meant to love.
Mar 14 · 16
Is this any good?
Marla Toledez Mar 14
I seem to ask myself that a lot.
"Is this poem the best I've got?"
"How good does it sound?"
"Is it terribly profound?"

Perhaps I'm just losing my edge,
Maybe I should pack up
And go to bed.

Or maybe I should stop caring
And start daring,
Lest it be me who's head
ends up dead.
Attached to a body
with no poetic stead.
Mar 14 · 32
Marla Toledez Mar 14
Why grimace
Like life is leaving you
When the good parts
Have only

I lost my train of thought,
Should de-
rail yours.
Mar 14 · 22
Life's A Deck
Marla Toledez Mar 14
When we are born,
All of us are dealt a deck.
Some are obvious,
Some are mysterious,
And other's are unlike any before.

Many years ago,
I thought I could read mine.
The symbols looked foreign,
The pictures were strange,
And my mind was too young
To understand the grandest of deceptions.
So when they told me
I was a man,
There was no room for persuasion.

Every glance in the mirror
Affirmed their lie,
But it never quite felt right.
My love for women
Was undeniable,
Yet many saw me *****.

Little did I know
That after all the pain
And hardship
Would come a great love
To shatter my soul out
Of it's crystal cage.

But once I broke free,
My mind and body
Were able to embrace the femininity
And joyous beauty
I'd always chased after.

Love was the key
That let me finally read my deck:
A Queen of Hearts,
A Queen of Clubs,
Three Jokers,
And a bottle of Jack.
Mar 14 · 16
Organic Poetry
Marla Toledez Mar 14
We blow ourselves away
Like blades of red grass
Gushing out of a lawnmower
After it's run over a neighbor's leg.

How dare you see if the prior verse
Was misread?

I'll have it be known
That unbeknownst
To you, whom this concerns,
That I'm of undecipherable wit
& pithy
Only known to the likes of
Your mother.

So leave me be,
Lest you'd enjoy a visit
To the infirmary.
I'll be better off without you
By my side,
Just leave me here alone.
Be gone so that I may begone,
As I lie down in tears to cry-
Beating down my fears,
O why won't they die?
Eat your heart out.
Mar 13 · 14
Marla Toledez Mar 13
Every morning,
I made coffee for the people I loved.
A massive *** of brown gold
Perched atop a fiery hotplate,
Waiting to be used.

Hour by hour,
Dozens of cups were poured
As people began to smile
And forget about their worries.
Conversing and rejoicing,
The mundaneness of life
Becoming a subtle blur
As they slurped upon
The nectar I provided

When all is said and done,
With all the happiness
That I've put into this world,
Tell me why I sit here
As empty as that *** of coffee
At the end of a long day?
Mar 13 · 132
What's New?
Marla Toledez Mar 13
I write poetry
Because it gives me wings
That let me fly above
The barren wastes of my past.

It may not always be pretty,
Or even sensible,
But my poetry's mark
Shall remain indelible.

For while others write of pain
Or striking colors,
I write of beauty
In all her forms.

I used to write about what I knew,
Yet everything is in the past.
What's there to do
When the world isn't to ask?
Feb 23 · 79
A Beggar's Lullaby
Marla Toledez Feb 23
Life is as inviting
As she is intense,
But don't be put off
By her indifference.

She will make us all martyrs
Before we're left diminished;
Leading us to slaughter
As we bask in our innocence.

So fear not her wrath,
For she is not shrill.
Their only directive is to ****;
Live before you've had your fill.
Feb 20 · 177
Space Matters
Marla Toledez Feb 20
Gazing at the stars,
One can understand our world.
Through various cycles,
Astral bodies align into harmony
Just as our bodies are driven
By compulsions we cannot explain.
There is no telling why it is so,
Yet many take the potency of space's dominion with skepticism.

If you think it suspicious,
Consider this:

If you could paint fate itself
On to the canvas of the cosmos
Where all would see;

If you could let your creations
Know how they were meant to be
Without forcing them to do your whim;

If you could hold the very stars
In your hands and write a letter
As god to your readers down below;

Why wouldn't you?
Feb 20 · 138
Voyager I
Marla Toledez Feb 20
Humanity and it's legacy
Forever immortalized
In the cosmos
By a metallic structure
That couldn't hold a single person.

The sounds of our home,
As tremulous as they may be,
Are left to echo quietly
Through the grooves
Of our planet's most sacred relic:
A shiny artifact made of that
Which glitters softly in
The eternal night.

Whether or not it shall ever
Be looked upon again
Remains to be seen,
But one thing is for certain:
Though we may die
And every planetary body
That we know may follow,
Our solar system will forever
Live on
Through the modest craft
That shall never perish,
Even in the darkest of nights.

From our sacred ground,
We launched it into the stars
To endure a boundless eternity.
Venturing into the unknown
To preserve humanity's light
Until the end of
Feb 20 · 85
Spaced Out
Marla Toledez Feb 20
Stars twinkling bright
Through the still cold,
Their auras hushed
By such infinite darkness.
Even if we are but earthlings,
Our bones rattle with longing
As they search on for something;
Like what some would call-


Perhaps this arrival will serve to be
What we've yet deciphered:

Eternity and infinity coalescing
Into what Chick calls our-

Return to

Feb 19 · 227
Marla Toledez Feb 19
All of my greatest wishes
Could have come true
If I had only
For you.
Feb 19 · 154
Lucy's the culprit
Marla Toledez Feb 19
I'm dead;
The acid man killed me.

Yet I've never felt-

My heart-beat
Overtaken by such
Energetic waves of being

I love Lucy
Feb 15 · 58
As the years go by
Marla Toledez Feb 15
Love is in the air,
I breathe without a care.
My humble life is fine!
I'll always cherish her devotion
As the years go by.

Hearts swept in emotion,
Joyously filling oceans,
Nothing could go awry!
I'll always cherish her commotion
As the years go by.

Now we're old and wisened,
Our romance is still rising
Way up into the skies!
I'll always cherish her cries of love
As the years go by...
Feb 15 · 201
Generation Z
Marla Toledez Feb 15
Tempest-tossed and out of bounds,
My youthful vigor marches on.
Exiled thrice on different scales:
First from my homeland,
Then the place I called home,
And now,
What used to be our world.

Because I'm different.
Not radically so, but just enough
To have me pushed away.
It seems the fascists aren't dead
After all;
They just hide in the people
You love until they come out for-

Forget it;
Thoughts like those don't help.
Me and you have to think
Of ourselves.
Day after day,
We're led on and told we're wrong.
Truth is,
We are the emboldened ones;
Gallant and strong-
The might of light within us all.

So stand tall, my humble friends,
Our call to arms is but a prayer
Cast down to us
For the sobriety of our good nature.

Love is the answer;
For if you love all
As if all loved you,
You'll eventually find that it does.
Feb 15 · 64
Goodbye, Porkpie Hat
Marla Toledez Feb 15
Soft notes of saddened warmth
Envelope a canvas
Painted on by a team of
Saddened artists.
The sweeping melody
Of their musical brushes
Pulling at my heartstrings
Ever so delicately;
Their tender musing
A collective force of mourning.

If only their muse did not share
The same fate
As my spiritual analog.
Maybe then I'd have-
a mentor
And not just a guiding spirit...
Feb 13 · 132
I Do
Marla Toledez Feb 13
Blue begonias scattered
Across my feet,
Veiled in darkness
As I shuffle to my seat.
Across from me,
Garnished in white,
Sits my bride soon to be.
She casts a gaze to her side,
Exuberant with ecstasy.
Flowers rank every crevice.
Besides them,
Thirty people rise.
Perhaps it'd be fair to surmise
The gentle surprise
We all felt as she and I
Both said our sacred vows.
It'll take a long while
Before they cast away my smile,
For she is the love of my life.
With her,
My heart escapes all vile.
Feb 11 · 76
Channel of Sentience
Marla Toledez Feb 11
A patch of green
Meets the burning red
Of my skin,
It's morning dew
Slipping through my arm-
Into the Abysmal
Of a soul hidden from view.
Blue skies with clouds of white
Hanging drearily above my eyes;
Gazing hazily at the ocean
That is our gentle sky.
Perhaps we are like fish-
Only we swim with more esteem.
Our sentience something profound;
Lonely we sit in wait of dreams.
They, however, pass us by,
Shifting through the cycles of life.
From the deepest darkness
Until the morning light,
Their thoughtless will fuels
Their primitive might.
So burn out your wick
As you thrash about the sea-
Exhausted and melting.
Whatever fire you extinguish
Will let the cool water sink slow.
Then the sun will surely rise
As it always has:
Above us all, through mighty fire.
Permit the stars into your life-
They will save you from false desire.
Feb 11 · 46
Vagabond's Romance
Marla Toledez Feb 11
These shoes of mine
Have been run through
Their very soles.
Crossroads after crossroads;
Days passing me by
As I venture into old age.
Twenty years ago,
The likes of me was
Deader than dead.
No tombstone could mark
Where I pitched my mortal stead.
Now I'm retired from the stateless
Walking down paths that promise
A way to an earthly tomb.
My soul though,
I bet she'll always wander on.
For all I know,
Two halves of me have already met.
Perhaps it's her I sleep with at night,
She'd hold me tight as I wept softly.
Now we laugh while the world
Struggles to comprehend
That our lives are connected
Through love,
Paths intertwined
Till the very end.
Feb 11 · 121
Marla Toledez Feb 11
This part of me has left;
Long enough it's caused me strife.
For many years I sought after death,
It is only now I see the light.
My poems reflect the life
I once naively led.
Now it is time I say
And bring these thoughts
To a subtle end.
Feb 2 · 99
Shadows that haunt
My sleep
Awaken the treachery
Of souls I've lost to keep.

Corrupted royalties
Disrupting vanities
Signal to loved ones
This mind is asleep.

Could be a year or two.
I didn't know her, did you?
Whatever I try to do
It's never true.

Speak from your heart.
Your words are rambles
At best.
Tear me apart.
Exit my life,
I'll be blessed.
Jan 31 · 55
Lovers' Jaunt
Marla Toledez Jan 31
Moons ago
Above a forgotten land,
Lived a lover-
With a forbidden band.
Silver and gold around her finger
Did twist,
Such beautiful spirals
No witch could ever resist.

The forbidden duo loved
For many days
By light of summer moons,
But so smitten were they
To forget in a haze
That mistresses seekn't a wife's Right to approve.

Exiled she was from
Her lover's home,
Their forbidden love
Flickering her soul.

Grimacing softly,
She consulted a psychic,
Who is wont to apply
Some tactic for coping.
Alone in the office,
Her face that of a skeptic.
But she changed her mind
When four at a time
Visions appeared on the wall.
One was yellow
And another was red,
But the writing could not be misread:

"This forbidden love cannot stand to pass, relinquish your mortality to grab in each others' hands."

Two by two,
The night and moon did cycle
Each day and night,
But our fair lady's love
Was being strangled
By the grim news of death:
Her lover on a cove laid not there,
His missing heart the disrepair.

The news was haunting,
But she daren't cry.
In a few minutes,
She'll bask in her lover's eyes.
One minute of life
Before an eternity of sleep,
This salty air the last bitter thing
Before death's sweet release.

The noose was gauntly,
But beautiful in a way.
Her head fit snugly,
Oh sweet goodbye
To gallant dismay.
With a kick,
The chair
Fell back.

And though we don't know
Much else of their tale,
Their love,
Though forbidden,
Was not frail.
Jan 30 · 36
With a load of doubt
Marla Toledez Jan 30
Look at me,
A teenage poet
Steeped to the gills in wine
And proper bang.
Morosely writing
The feelings I'm fighting,
Ripping the Wick at both ends.
Burst me into flames,
Why don't you?
Sprinkle the acid elixir
Into my mind and drain
My haggard sympathies.
Spurn my designs
And burn these wordy shrines,
The pale horse will take my soul
Before I reach success' toll.
Jan 30 · 88
Marla Toledez Jan 30
Empty pockets
Spread threadbare,
Growling stomachs
Ached despair.
Ain't no money to see
In this mess of a reverie.
Cold winters kissing me,
Smokey wind upon my door.

If only I had one...

I'd be all set,
Chaufer driving me
To my charming jet.
My honey and I
Would always kiss sweet,
Never having to worry
About what to eat.

If only...
life weren't so grim.
Poverty & cheap thrills
Wearing my spirits thin.
My charcuterie is plastic,
So is my base lifestyle.
I'm dreary eyed with things drastic,
Trying to chase a break for a while.
But my blues are static
And they're charging me up
Just to drive me wild.
Jan 30 · 67
Angst in Requiem
Marla Toledez Jan 30
Days of angst
Pursue me through
Awkward moments galore,
The hangover to my prior life.
Middle school bells ring
In the corridors of my mind,
Harkening back to a time
When sharpened pencils where More important than rent.
High school bells bring me
A cold comfort I can't explain,
I guess not enough time
Has passed for me to smile.
If only these tears
Could be wiped from my face
Without the slow hand of time
Quelling my soul's embrace.
Perhaps I'd smile with heart.
Jan 29 · 102
Lost Words
Marla Toledez Jan 29
Hollowed corpses
Left on hallowed ground,
Lacking the depth
Of what was once profound.

Rip my heart to shreds
As your empty words
Entomb me.

For your light is-

The love in you-

And your soul...
Jan 22 · 113
My Aries
Marla Toledez Jan 22
With your heart,
My will shall not falter,
For it is you whose kisses
Give me long-desired

Your lips
Taste like beauty
As my mind
Recants poetry
Through the hallows
Of my soul.

If we were one,
You'd still be
My better half.

So let's huff and puff
The night away,
Your breath
To my touch,
Sparking fire
Through my day.
Jan 20 · 202
Green Cracks
Marla Toledez Jan 20
A wall runs low against a dirt hill,
Made of cracked stone
And shattered granite.
Leafy greens climb up the wall
From the low side,
Creeping into its crevice.

A visit to the hill
Was not in my thoughts
As I was reminded by
My nightly sigh.
Perhaps it'd be better
To roll up the grass
And murmur musings
About my beloved.

So I turned away,
My shirt collar to the dirt.
Wind parting my hair as a
Whisper wisps by my ear,
"The green cracks await, my dear."

At a click,
My heart stopped.
Ecstasy poured through me
As my world rocked.
It was her:
My Queen.

And so we laughed
While we hung beneath a tree,
Two with nature
But one with me.
Jan 20 · 104
Marla Toledez Jan 20
Love has taken me
To the tallest peaks
And taught me that
The roughest ground
Gives way to

If life were a mountain,
Your love is my valley.
Jan 18 · 29
Marla Toledez Jan 18
If your mind plagues you,
Cease & desist all thoughts.
Sit down & put on some calm
As time stills.

Though the future may be long,
It will fit when you can wear it.
Jan 15 · 162
Marla Toledez Jan 15
She wails at me
From her forgotten cove
Perched atop a steel mast.
I listen to her,
Though shrill her voice rings,
Yet I do not run.
People scamper away like ants
Escaping extinction,
But when she beckons,
My feet stay locked.

The fire cleanses all
As it nears,
And her voice
Shall lead me to...

Jan 15 · 139
Wood's Hall
Marla Toledez Jan 15
When I retire,
You haunt me,
Like a nightmare
That chases people through
Their dreams,
Depriving them of rest.
Foul demon,
Be gone from this earth.
Leave us alone to wallow
In the ashes of our youth.
Jan 12 · 55
My Charming Lass
Marla Toledez Jan 12
Curls of blue atop
A mind of brilliance,
Her smile opens my soul
To the world's significance.
Life is pure and just as sweet
When our lips
Greet on quiet greens.
Take me away, blue one,
Take me with your gentle breeze!
For without you,
I am lost
And my heart
Has no place to keep.
A poem for my beloved blue wife.
Jan 11 · 84
Marla Toledez Jan 11
Mirror-like cracks
In my shattered psyche
Run down my mind
Like the silvery tendrils
Of a shrill rain
After my sanity's loss.
Jan 4 · 37
Pitch as Night
The bells rang vividly through the cold misty evening as the carolers passed by,
Their serenades intoxicating the air with more and more of that red-green aura.
Busses, cars, and even an old man with a rickshaw zoom down the street,
Promising themselves they wouldn't let up the eve someplace away from home.

A silhouette emerges from the church carrying something wet and shiny.

Two cars topsy turvied and the passengers fell asleep.

Three men point exploding pipes at each other until they all fall down.

Four women braid each others' hair with clenched fists as the red mists paint the white brick wall.

Five people, all in a row, collapse onto the tracks of an oncoming train and decide to let go.

But the omniscient presence in the domed cloud sees all as a musing, for what are we but inklings?
Dec 2018 · 88
Tempestad Habanera
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
Acostada contra una palma
Sobre la esquina habanera,
Había una mujer hermosa
Linda como era sincera.
De un solo momento
Se paró el tiempo-
Una lagrima solitaria
Tumbo en la acera.
"Llorando y llorando me voy a pasar la vida" ella dijo, disjustada.
"Más nunca me quitan esta lluvia de mi alma."
Dec 2018 · 99
Paseos de mi alma
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
Ha sido una noche buena,
Eso no te lo puedo mentir.
Por las calles no sonaba ni una sirena,
El peligro estaba lejo de mi.
Aunque no puedo decir que es perfecta,
La vida es real.
Entonces hay que reírse como si no existiera los problemas,
Eso sería lo ideal.
Testing out my Spanish poetry skills, expect more to come!
Dec 2018 · 45
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
Holidays spent on countless charades,
Predicting all of your plays
And gauging all of your games.
You're driving me insane!

I'd much rather fry cheese on the moon-
Than see your face...
Anytime soon.
Oh how pointless life can be
When every reverie
Is infected by your dull surprise.

Condescensing looks descend
Into words written in books,
Like backhanded comments
Striking my face blue.
With you I'll never find paradise.

Now it's time to turn you off,
Beckon you with a drunken scoff
And eject you from my life.

Happiness is but a loved child
Lurking within the minds
Of the abused set free
To let their hearts run wild.
Do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Dec 2018 · 48
Dancing with the Stars
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
I wake up at noon everyday
Hoping to find a quick getaway
Out of this cellophane
Seranwrapping my brain
And making it stay.
I want to dance with the nobles
And make love to my wife
In the subtle grass,
Passing out hollowed cigars
As we laugh in uproars felt from afar.
Wasn't it better back in those days?

I'm drunk behind the wheel
Of my old car,
Trying to escape but only going
Back home to ****.
This ****** prison cell,
Where demons barge in at any hour
Just to say hello and beat me down.
I miss the days when it was easy to cry,
Now I'm just a hollow shell.

Now I'm in the future
Which is really more of a present.
Don't you see how far we've come?
From writhing in your sleep
To dancing with the stars,
You've made it big.
Lucy's on her way, she's a part of our gig.
Hallucinations await as the sun
Slowly decays,
Decades pass by and my problems
Melt away,
It's me, I'm happy again.
Dec 2018 · 69
Blessed Leaf
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
The divines
Gave us the gift
Of happiness
And now you shall
Be happy too.

Ready your pipes
And light your torches,
The blessed leaf
Shall bestow upon
The thy virtue
Of serenity.
Dec 2018 · 149
Blue Dream
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
Cast about on a stormy sea,
The deck was barren,
Our mood deceased.
Many a day, high tides wisped by-
Arresting my feeble mind from time.
Until one day, an epiphany.
"Blue dream," I called out,
"Take me away to that special place
Where up is down
And I float into space;
Drown my sorrows in a haste."

She manifested in my quarters
Later that night,
And with a soft whimper
Summoned my delight.
"Here you are, forsaken one,"
She hauntedly sung to me,
"My love will give you power,
The smoke will set you free."

Many a moment has passed
Since my encounter with blue dream,
But still my dreams call out
Hoping it's her I shall see
When I cross the threshold
Of those pearly gates.
Dec 2018 · 93
Keeping afloat
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
The tears on her face
Drip down gracefully,
But her heart has sunk
Like it were filled with lead.
Pain consumes the place
As she writhes endlessly.
In a few seconds,
I'm sure she'll be dead.
Life is too short for floating on tears,
Slaughter their dears and conquer
Your fears;
Blood is more buoyant anyways.
Dec 2018 · 157
It isn't Suicide if you cry
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
All alone,
Sitting there in her pain,
She strums a guitar
And smokes away the day.
Phone calls come in
Steaming with disdain.
She's broken now,
Her heart's stop beating again.

Out and back home,
Rushed away to the ER.
No one comes to visit,
Their jobs are all too far.
All alone,
She thinks it's time to die.
Her last words shown:
"It isn't Suicide if you cry."
Dec 2018 · 188
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
Poem and mope
Are the same word
Built differently.
Dec 2018 · 267
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
Crying alone
On the bathroom floor,
A barrel to my head
And a stock to my thigh.
Maybe I'm drunk,
I don't feel very high.
The extractor rains steel
As I prepare to stop the feels.
My life is a bitter lie
One I can no longer conceal.
Baby hold me tight,
My heart has no seal.
The blood is spilling out
While my veins grow cold.
Two lovers we once were,
Now it's just you and my bones.
Dec 2018 · 168
She Croaked
Marla Toledez Dec 2018
*****, destitute, confused;
My soul bares itself-
Empty to life's troubling ruse.

Mongrels snarl and scream
As I am chased away from-
Tattered dreams.

Misfortunes cast out
Like fishing line to a sea;
Empty woes hollow and prim
Opine shallow heresies.

Poverty and paradise bellow-
Deep through the glistening
Shaft of temporal demise.
Time is a tempest of sorcery
Fueled and filed by wild mages
Scrawling these white pages
Like a shaman on tenement walls:
"Forgive my kiss and forget my lips,
Death's call has me after all."
Nov 2018 · 92
'Tis a Blessed Day
Marla Toledez Nov 2018
Merriment upon merriment!
What parceled eyes are these?
Latent dilations that sting:
Bungled African bees.
You say as I-
Bid the fair day;
What tame a lion are you
To proclaim the error in my ways.
Leave you in a daze I shall,
As your ego suddenly croaks.
For **** hath no fury like yours truly
Who raps upon the door softly,
that you choke.
Marla Toledez Nov 2018
Macabre things make me smile
Too much for me to be sane.
Death arouses my inner child
Escaping me from the mundane.
Life is bitter while death is sweet
Because in life I'm lonely
As the shadows haunt me
Down these empty streets.
But in death I am one
With the night,
Dark as pitch and black tones.
Blue and violet bruises
Violent on my throat.
Sweet surrender and pauper's bliss
Take me now my soul to kiss.
And if I should surrender in a haze
Remind me there are better days.
Nov 2018 · 150
Kill me now
Marla Toledez Nov 2018
**** me now while I'm not sad,
While things are great
And I'm not depressed.

Flay me like you would a crook,
One who's stolen from you
And burned up all they took.  

Lay me down on the marble slab,
Rip my entrails out and hang
Them from an oak stand.

Let me be now that I'm gone,
You didn't want me then
Don't try and fake a sob.

Bury me from head to toe,
Your ashes will keep me cool
As the flames burn away my woes.

**** me now that you've squeezed
All the life out of my veins.
I hope the blood stains your soul
And drowns your heart in pain.
Nov 2018 · 250
She is my religion
Marla Toledez Nov 2018
My love runs sweet
For someone as dear
As the young lass
Who doth make my
Lip quiver.
These knees of mine
Experience tremors
No clergyman could contain.
A holy book has yet to find
The means by which I can
Be subdued.
She is my religion.
Her body: my church.
Her mind: my spirit.
Her love: my grace.
Un poem pour ma femme.
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