If i don't make it through the night, don't hurt yourself. There are alot of people that can replace me.

One day you have to erase me
From your life.
From your dreams ..
One day you have to delete me
From your days..
From your prays..
I will become an angel..
Maybe..
Maybe not...
Life will end..
Light ..
Is that day coming..
I will ask again ..
WHY ???

I wish I were prettier
I wish I were younger
I wish I were smarter
I wish I was skinnier
I wish I did not have to love with all my heart
I wish someone would love me back
I wish that person would want to keep me and not just use me
I wish I could mean so much to someone
I wish I wasn't alone so **** much

my hands are cold
and my eyes are sore
and i don't think
i can take it anymore
my lips are chapped
and my energy is sapped
i'm tired
and weak
and i can't find what i seek
all i want
is to be
snuggling with you
right next to me
but my lids are heavy
and my body aches
im so tired
of making mistakes

I'm a bad friend
I hate myself for it
I hate that I'm not there when you need me
I hate that I never know what to say

But I want you to know that I love you
I will always care about you
From now I'm going to say something even if it's the wrong thing to say
Because I know you will appreciate it
And understand that I'm trying
Because you are a good friend

You always know exactly what to say
You know me like no one else does
You have stuck by my side through everything
And I am so lucky to be your bestfriend

I love you

I want to ask someone,
“Will you love me, even like this?”

I want to hear them say yes. I want to then say,
“And when I finally open my heart, and all I can offer you are the broken things inside it, will you love me then?”

I want to hear them say,
“How could I refuse the love you give me?”

I want to hear them say,
“The love you give me is good. No matter the wounds your heart carries, no matter the state it’s in, the love you give me is good. All your love is good.”

sometimes there's this buzz in your mind.
the clock reads 2:09 AM

but oh this buzz.

golden flakes of pure ideas
and dust of ambition.
sometimes there's this clean inspiration
that would become polluted if you slept.
amidst the scribbles of a pen
minutes have fluttered by.
sometimes you forget there's a world
and a life you've built.

there's this buzz
and it's gorgeous.

is it a need to self destruct
or to just hurt others
i struggle to pinpoint
all i know is the moment i start feeling safe
that's when it needs to end