This picture of you
Under the blanket making no noise and pretending I don’t exist
This picture of you
Drawn on my wrist

Now it feels like you’re the one holding the blade
Drawing the same picture
I told her I'm addicted, confessed everything
With a painful throat, she asked me to grab her

Breaking windows, getting naked
Begging for more
Where the dreamers go
I just wanted to prove everybody wrong

Let me be
I begged, down on my knees
I only need time, not a home
Time is where the heart is, to cure my hope syndrome

If home is where the heart is
Then what do I do with this hollow chest
Happy pills?
Look me in the eye and ask for it

Hold your head high gorgeous and look at mine
I’ll **** to see you smiling
She told me that it’s too hard to talk when you want to **** yourself
Non mental complaints but a physical issue

Physically opening her mouth and making the words come out
Smooth and in conjunction
Not everybody understands this but if you do
I’m sorry, but who does?

A different kind of art
It felt cold for a while
But the sun's rising everyday to keep us safe
Teaching us everyday how to behave

"It’s okay I understand" I interrupted her madness
With that I was introducing mine
It’s my only release from pain
That's all my sanity needed to sustain

The voices in my head are back
She knew them all
When I saw her lying on my bedroom floor
With mascara crawling down her face

Gasping for air, with the moon-rise
Gasping for darkness
I brought her back to life
Cleaning the blood

Razor..Blade..Scissors
For her magical game, we were wizards
Over and over again, drained-
Every though from the stars we gained

"It’s the treasure you’ve been always looking for
Please keep in mind that you will find the pain release and blood strangely addictive
Control it"

Never.will

"Stick to a few small
Shallow cuts here and there that won’t be deep that will heal
Begin to fade
Depend on it
Itches and burns
Spread slowly but steadily
She took a deep breath after letting all that out"

She was there in the deepest times of my life reminding me that everything was going to be like blood
She was the one who gave me the strength to keep wanting to survive
She was the only one who hadn’t given up on me even when I had given up on myself
She saved me and I could never thank her enough

Tempting..

During my ambitious journey
I've never felt any place I lived in
But the past I lived in

The smells I have smelt
Crawling down the sense
I have missed to sense

The touch of the beauty
Defined by an angel rather-
Than me, the selfish thing

The laughs confused with cries
Oh! What I got myself into-
But smiles upon sad skins

Melancholy melodies swaying over-
Soft lullabies stream in slow motion
Like a waterfall down her lips

Grumpy kids walking innocently
Smiley parents rushing guiltlessly
My pale face feels nothing, endlessly

I get up on my knees slowly
That’s the highest I could get
Then sunk back to the future
The one I have always left

Hand is shaking silently as you reach for the medicine
You want to pull your hand back but you’re too weak for it
Turn to walk away before you remember again
That you’re doing this for me
That you’re doing this for you
Framed five stitches on the left side of your mind
A broken glass was what did the harm
Not the thoughts in your head or the hand that you loved
Behind the bandage
Do you need to know what took what we had?
Look me in my closed eyes and tell me if the fall from the chair was that bad
What raced through your mind
I took my last breath then read it all
To taste the bitterness

I made my way to the throne, but darkness is all what surrounded me

Tonight's gear:
Blades, bank cards and a white dress
Tonight's mission:
Red fountain, Shakespeare lines and an empty chest
Watching you cut
Your skin puffs, pulling out my guts
Flawless, sprint through time
Blood river flowing perfectly, our blades rhyme
It tingles
it burns
So that’s only the worst
Your body is in pain but your mind is at ease
One turns to two and two to four
At this point you just keep asking for more
There’s no stopping yourself from the warmth flowing through your tongue
Everyone else is happy so why can’t you be too?
Everyone’s blood is red, why yours is blue
It stings, I can see it in your eyes
Your gums getting numb, my nose too
Itchy
You only want to feel the pain to feel the rush
Enjoy the satisfaction

She was drowning and nobody saw her struggle
I saw it all during another sleepless night trapped in my own mind..

Slam the door with silence, no friction
Your deathbed awaits by the sun
Facing it, with your right hand tickling the moon
Left one carrying a gun

“Ninth circle of hell awaits”
Whispers, as I wait for the sun
“Ninth circle of hell awaits”
At the galaxy’s edge, I stump

Where a dress made in heaven
Specially for her November
For her special mirror she wore
My chest shivers, as she carries me

My chest shivers, as she opens the door
Take me to the galaxy’s edge
Wear me upon your hazel hair
To let go of my old one

From a nameless stone fix me
Into living bones fix me
I sink into your mind
When it turns to be a black hole

Endless, with sensational blares
Echoing at the endless core
Take me to the sun
My only one, my only home

My mind convulses into spasms!
While I nap over her ocean
Where light wins every fight
Where darkness’s fading, I live

For a new life I live
For a new shadow of mine
Lifted by her soul
Lifted unbroken

I’ll show you my old little secret
Just something I’ve always wanted to do
Tell me what you think about this
Because it’s getting older and getting worse
***** it
We’re all addicted to something that takes the pain away
A pill each day to keep me sane
Ignore the truth and listen carefully to my lies
Because that light at the end of the tunnel
Is actually a train
Head for the light
It all starts with one stare
That one stare turns into one scream
That one scream to fill up my empty chest
Turn it to two
Then downhill from there
A ship sinking from there
You’ll be missing your so called misery
You may not be scared of death darling I know
What freaks the hell out of you is what comes after
And I know that you must be really hating me to be doing this
I tried pouring gasoline on myself and ignite in flame but didn’t feel the same way
They kept saying that dreams come true
Forgot to mention that your nightmares are mine as well
Do you think they’re bluffing like me?
Now get back to that comparison and tell me if I’m still telling the truth
Because when we sit and stare at the night sky
Keep remembering that this is hell and we can’t leave it
Fall over my broken skull and die
Crash and burn
Scream and struggle
Anticipating the moon
What a beautiful sight of you
No matter
I still have the will to fight darling
With a pocket of dreams that we can share
And the other pills that may **** my back
Maybe now we’ll see it well
Because loneliness kills
Even though it’s one life
And we can use it once only
But the results may vary
This addiction wasn’t my choice
It’s a sickness but not a choice
Chronic depression if you understand it well
You may criticize it because you won’t understand
Some people prefer staying blinded and jump into conclusions
When it’s all in the scary details
Just like that our drink, it won’t end
Even with all the screams, surrounding me
Calm
I’m sorry because it’s not my fault
Physical torment couldn’t stop me
I’m burning from the inside and I can see myself tomorrow dying in cold blood
Would you feel sorrow or show love?
Please don’t hurt yourself tonight I’m begging
You’re a fighter, a soldier
But you won’t get through it
You’ll get through this
While I get through you
Let me wipe your scars with my fear
That dark cloud you’re building inside let me sleep inside it forever
I might find my answer at the bottom of that cloud
Stumped
Pour your heart out for me
That taste that I can’t ever get enough of
Where I can draw that line in the sand
To watch you lay inside it
I’ll be charming, I’ll speak in poetical format
I’ll be just
I might be a good liar but will you believe this lie or skip to the puzzle that we’d both **** for
Staying embedded into my mind for the next few months
Now you’re wondering if that’s a lie or not
Forever you’ll rethink this until I bring you back my cold desire

Visions I see in my sleep
Dreams, you've planted inside my oceans
A debate between ink and nightmares
Overdosing on your pills and potions

Soothe, my mind my aching bones
Soothe, gently with madness with the-
Purity of yours, breaking me to build me
Flaying me alive, as it soothes my mind

Your innocent mumbles
My ears’ favorite song
The smoke of my last cigarette
Swaying over my favorite song

Your angelic smell is-
My daily perfume, my daily bliss
That your wear every moon-rise-
Upon your dress, upon my chest

Under the shivering white leaves
Of winter, under the superior sun
Of summer, we’ll both melt down
Next to your white heart, I’ll live

Next to your weak leaves, I'll fall
By your vanilla blossoms, I'll rise again
On the smell of your chocolate cosmos
I’ll live, by your spring’s censer

We’ll live through the sun’s explosion
Through my condensed blood
By my melted flesh
I’ll live, next to your soft warm hair

Madness, living by your eyes
Scripted, upon your eyelids
Artistically, upon your iconic skin
Stitches and scars, drawn upon your heart

Upon your bones I lay my head
Through your heart I crawl to sleep
To watch the night stars
Craving your eyes, and you, my heart

Cut
Shoot
Jump
Cut me, like you need to be loved
Pills to sleep
A silver blade
A frowning face
Thick
Straight lines no more space
Blood stained sleeves
A burning ache
You roll them up your hands they shake
One last cut a few more pills
You pull the trigger, it kills-
To watch your mom, as she cries
Your dad just stands
Stares down at your body
Holding your mom’s one hand
While I lay on a dead star
While they watch me fade
While I draw a picture
If I do it correctly a red beautiful fountain will appear
I’ll try to kiss it
To take away my pain and wash away my fear
I understood self-harm
I understood the pain that causes it
Just know that I will never judge you for it
I’ll be always there for you staring at you while you get quieter
Skinner
Naked
Funny how numb you feel while am cutting your pain away
But I can take a knife to my soul and feel almost nothing at all
Just empty numbness
I can see that you’re hurting
It feels like everyone is sitting in the sunshine
While staring at each other under the mercy of the ****** rain
Trust me I know exactly how it feels
Never too deep never enough to die
But enough to feel the pain enough to feel the scream inside
It’s always worse than it seems
Your liquid is clear but your wrists are stained
Pretend during the day break inside my soul at night
“What is depression like?” she whispered
It’s like falling, while laughter is all what you can hear..