Thami Feb 6
We were creating a rose garden
We spent seven months working tirelessly towards it.
Just as the seeds we planted were about to bloom,you decided you didn't like roses anymore.
My love alone wasn't enough to water them.
I write this,sitting in the ruins of what could have been our garden.
All our roses have wilted.
How I would have done anything for 7 more days. Months. Years with you.  To see our garden through. To water & grow it till our hearts didn't beat anymore.
It could've been beautiful.
We could've been beautiful.
Today marks what could have been my ex boyfriend & I's first anniversary. Bummed that this day has come & he's now nothing but a stranger.
Thami Nov 2017
I'm sorry I give you so little love that you have to be satisfied with the little scraps people give you.

I'm sorry I beat you up for your imperfections instead of embracing them.

I'm sorry for all the times I've stayed up all night being horrible to you. Calling you stupid,ugly and unworthy.

I'm sorry for all the times I told you you deserve to die and that nobody would even notice if you were to disappear.

I'm sorry I have nothing but these words to offer you.

I pray that you will forgive me someday,Thami.
I've spent my teenage years punishing myself for not being perfect. Being mean to myself. Hating myself. Today,I begin my journey to truly accepting, loving and appreciating myself.
Thami Nov 2017
It's been a month since you left, but it still feels like yesterday to me.

I still remember the exact time it was,

The feeling I got in my chest as I lay there reading your text,

The flood of tears that followed afterwards,

The amount of "you'll be fine"s I whispered to myself that night.

I remember it all.

It's been a month since you left, but it still feels like yesterday to me.
Thami Oct 2017
I haven't done half the things I wanted to do with you.
Haven't made half the memories I wanted us to
And now you're gone and it hurts to  know I'll never get to do the simple things like
Lie on the grass & gaze at the stars with you
I wish we had more time.
Thami Oct 2017
You occupy my thoughts day and night.
All my days are wasted daydreaming about you finally giving me my fairytale ending
& you again,visit me in my dreams. There's no escaping you. It's torturous.
My first heartbreak. How do people do it?move on from the person they thought they'd be with forever?
Thami Oct 2017
Just as I had predicted,you finally got tired.
Tired of trying to carry my problems & not being able to.
Tired of constantly having to talk me out of suicide attempts.
Tired of reminding me that it'll all get better.
Tired of trying to convince me to get out of bed,when the last thing I wanted to do was face the world.
I don't blame you though,I'd also walk away from myself if I could. Pity I'm stuck with me for life.
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