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Maddie Rea Jul 7
The thought before shredding those tiny pieces

Knowing with everything in me that I was saying goodbye to the life I dreamed of having

Already seeing two coincidences of those actions

Here appears Slater that lonely foo,l what I wish to be without you

Beside myself this is just another loop

It kills me inside to know that humanity will never recoup

Three trays and a bag to carry me through this week

Cant we please just keep the peace

I can almost walk unsteadily down this winding dirt road

Praying for a car, all I can see is the train heading straight for me

It seems my ankles have now become bound to this track... Heading straight for me...
Maddie Rea May 29
Not sure how to start this

I wasn’t worried but now I get to sit here and think while I’m with there ******* junkies just proving to me that life’s luxuries usually pass by me

My stomach in knots my thoughts pulling from memory how you hold me out early mornings, the glass that caught my eye now red hot and scorching me, tears you saved me from now soaking up in my shirt, tears in my skin red and jagged

Sitting here watching that white rabbit, dig deep now walking towards the safe, oh the webs we weave always turn back to me, spinning the wheel and ready to reveal the chaos within now able to see the darkness

When you called out ‘mine’ you made a vow never allowing anything between us, sadly I can tell this is more the likely different
Maddie Rea May 29
Feeding my insecurities my thoughts coming true

Saying everything’s okay forever and always

If I look into your ocean of eyes I will lose it and cry

Emotions flooding, my heart has stopped and my hands are shaking

Nothing will break me at least that’s what I keep telling myself

The best thing so far to happen to me and I’m already being to needy

I don’t know anything different but you are my path

Losing grip on my reality wishing I could just switch me

You make my heart race my body quake my thoughts freeze just wanting to please look where that gets me

Back to self doubting I’m not sure I want to be

Feeling my insecurities
Maddie Rea May 29
My golden god why would you even give me the slightest chance,

They’re speaking ill words against me, will you be able to fight that battle someone has to be strong god knows that’s not me, offering me my wildest dreams knowing you will hate me in the end it wouldn’t be my life if it was any different, call me negative

A promise everyone keeps they always give up on me there’s something I just don’t understand, how inside I’m good, my rules are fair, my intention is always love and happiness but I always end up being the bad guy, everyone hating me, losing everything

Left with this black acid we call depression stuck with the thought of cutting my wrist,
Wishing only for the bliss,
Wanting six shots in my brain,
Waiting for the rain,
Hoping for the pain,
No faith No humanity No ease
Only trials Only test Only tease
Maddie Rea May 29
Violent tendencies meeting eye to eye blood bag ****** dry

Ready for another line all I see is blood splatter

They’re hoping to haunt me taking this axe to your back

Don’t have the strength to take your own life the reapers waiting, patiently waiting for this small amount to overtake me

Ice in veins fog in my brain ***** you wish you could push the limits of my pain threshold, not meeting me never defeating me

Got a new ***** wishing you could hit ain’t even close but you can kiss this, your soul a new addition

**** in her *** she’s screaming ‘bet you won’t make me scream’ get on your knees, a demon overtaking me
Maddie Rea May 29
When you live without your soul for so long you learn to maintain, thinking it’s okay to be a little insane. When the time comes and you find the other half and you try to put it back together, chaos emerges. Relearning everything we thought we knew, living alone for so long what would you expect. Two people with more then two people it’s ten against two, craving friendship love harmony with eight others there to combat everything, pulled with a thousand thoughts every bit opposite of the last how could anyone think I’m okay. Together we try to be, everyone of me hating one another,not understanding, going through the day feels like forever but as much as I don’t know There's one thing I’m sure; I will always have all of them inside my brain. We’re just lunatics ready to just give up and quit but I must swallow this depression that eats away at my body like it’s acid. One of me screaming ‘you stupid *****’ and I may drag my feet like a tired little kid but somehow I have to keep moving with no motivation left in my body. I’m dragging myself around this cold body, not a ******* by nature, when you live with something for so long your brain is taught to think this is the way. When I wrap around you like a snake taking your energy away something odd I feel. Noticing your body how solid and tender, fluid but grounded, I can’t help but I could be wrong and I think this is our last song. I pray not but if it is I hope I can get my last note in before the ushers roll in, maybe you will be there to see that sin my lines always blurred one of few things I can be sure as we lay in this bed, the world will still turn.
So I wrote this a few weeks ago and I had no clue why... Today my eyes are open to the meaning. Scott you rocked my world in so many ways even if it was just a blink, I forever want you love, compassion, and friendship. Forever MY 5-0
Maddie Rea May 19
Riddle me you will for this could be your last fairytale

Remember the only thing to restrain me for eternity is squid ink from the deepest of seas

But you will never rein with this dark blood inside of me trying will only bring you pain

I urge your attempts to pull this sword from stone when the just is shown you might be able to break just one of my bones

This contract in we marked with blood unborn show me your name or the debt you’ll forever owe
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