Deep oceans of sadness
swelling and churning
threatening to capsize
all that I am
My throat speaks lies
I'm not ok.
The darkness looms
in the salty skies
My flesh grows weary
of holding itself together
I just need to cry
myself to sleep within
eternal blankets of darkness.
Comfort comes with sleep,
agony with waking.
I'm proud I'm not a sheep
but, just like them, I'm faking.
Mindlessness, hand in hand with joy
I feel alone, though friends abound
I need to cry, but
can't scream a sound.

Why am I like this?
Why so sad?
Why does my life feel so...
futile?
My words are slowing
my pen, failed.

My life struggles on
the front continues
my smiles have faded
into a dawnless dusk.

****.
122304~1.57p

Growling
tearing inside at loose pieces
angry at unjustified bitterness
that sweeps me from my peak
   Lost in whirlwinds
   that scatter debris
   like tiny blossoms
   of glistening glass
So beautiful and bright
right up to the moment
when it hits and becomes
part of me
shredding me like a dream
waking to find the loved ones
left behind are forgetting me.
How could something so perfect
be upsetting to me?

I'm lost in a disappearing act
wrapped in blood-stained curtains
that never pulled back
never exposed
never revealed
*******! I want this overbearing pain SEALED.
122304~11.4a

Where's the life
we all long to live?
Why are we all pushing
why do we take but never give?
I have no faith in my fellow man
I have no say in this butcherous land
I've nothing but shame
for where I stand
Yet, I'm no more shameless
for doing nothing but blaming.

It's so hard not to give up.
I try so hard to end up
so disgusted.
It seems a waste.
Even the trees that were felled
to make this book
they deserved this Earth
more than I.
102804~7.01p

Through the waves
I'm crashing
over
the sound of receding
blades
sinking slowly out &
away
drawing me open
I'll pretend I'm saved

Unlucky us
cut too quickly
violated trust
sanguinely separating
flesh
It means so much
to be connected
in physical planes
Even the sky
must touch the earth
Is that why we're closer
whenever it rains?
I know that I love...
and I know that I miss...
my reminder's this pain
and it comes like your kiss.
080504~2.17p

Don't watch me go
it's not forever
only our love bears that badge.
I close my eyes because you fill them
I need to see
beyond the dreams
past you
surrounding me
you fill my pain
like warm Southern rain
shed from the eyes of a goddess
Your heart will forever be
a sacred shrine
And my offerings
will always bleed
and flood the floors
of your divine temple
You have my prayers
and I have your soul
there is no forgetting
without you, there is no whole.
Your secret place is ours
with enshrouded chests
and beating *******
I am with you for hours
alone in our minds
connected
writing parallel lines
but in time....
In time we'll connect again
physically ~ abusively
you'll have me to yourself
and you'll cry
at all the time that's gone by
we weren't living this lie
but now we cry
because we could've tried.
Now we're tired
way too soon
like a slow pounding rain
turning to monsoon
Sweeping away possessions
and cares and loves
leaving us with nothing
but time and ****.

What more did we want?
080404~7.41p

Lost
     Lovers
          Losing
               Linguistic
                    Lusts...
Is this us?
forever tied
     to the tongues'
          receding tide
Lying on our backs
     staring into the sky
Letting the salt wash over
our sentimental dreams
I think I'm saying good-bye.
080304~6.04p

We immerse ourselves within
simplistic sin
speak unholy rites
to worship again
Our hands clasped
and teathered tightly
we tug & tease
into our temple of flesh.
Screams and chants
fill these halls
unending confessions
scraped into the walls
coming in unison
is our communion
opening wide for our
lustful sacrament.

With prayers offered up
against our sinful second nature
our lips are parting
within salty showers
and union is torn
as our spirits rip apart.
Why, then, is this
"following our hearts?"
070904~5.52p