You have no idea...
How sorry I am...
That I just couldn't be there...
For you...

3 days a week
You bring me to the floor, my knees so weak
Where are you? Being to loose sleep
Thinking about all the little secrets,
That only you would make me keep
Hands on your mocha waist, our time was free
Chestnut hair and spruce lit eyes, heart on my sleeve
Rapper was I, you helped me achieve
AEOU like you never needed me
Summer jobs, smoking hard wee..
Don't remember, was like living in a dream
When reality kicks in, you were all of me
Back then it was hard too see
Pull myself together but why did you have to leave...

So let me know
I can't do this on my own
When I'm lost, you are there for I know
When I'm drunk, I'm stumbling home
Crawl into bed and question why I'm alone
Why I'm alone...
Why I'm alone...

3 months passed, and your with someone else
Feel no feelings like you left me on the shelf
With nobody to blame I only blame myself
A downward spiral, ****, drugs and drink, I think I'm needing help
But how can I pull myself out of the grave I dug myself
Occurs to me what could've been, if I'd only seen
Wish I'd felt sooner, bodies under bedsheets
Fingertips graze down your neck to your feet
Open fields await, lights dimmed, it's getting hard to see
No one else would treat you so clean
Closer and closer to me I'll keep,
You and I would've have never been
Either way I'd have given you all of me...

So let me know
I can't do this on my own
When I'm lost, you are there for I know
When I'm drunk, I'm stumbling home
Crawl into bed and question why I'm alone
Why I'm alone...
Why I'm alone...

6 months down the line
Trying to pretend I'm doing fine
With nobody left it's only to myself I'm lying
100 miles away is that worth flying
I've never see you so happy
You had me so sweet like candy
Stash my love to the way side
I can't hide it...
But even though I'm feeling sporadic
When your heading back from work and
Your stuck in 5pm traffic
Just remember to look ahead and know
Once you arrive home
Just know there for you
And I'll be waiting for alone...
I'm sorry
Lyle Rose Nov 26
I know I went in too deep at the start
Not a care in the world, didn't care who I hurt
Went through a lot of people but mum you got it the worst
We've battled on the battlefield and I'm the one who lost
I'm the cartographer with the map he just couldn't chart
Now I think we've taken this too far
I know I let you down and we fought like Vietnam
But I've looked forwards now, "****"
I will always be here for you and I'm glad...
For all those years you were all I had
I know you were struggling whilst raising us and I understand
So thank you for everything we had because you were my mum and my dad
And I know I was never the best
Just been wanting to get this off my chest
Now it's time to lay it to rest
Because you made me the man I've become
I've wanted to tell you for so long
Thought alone made me go numb
At last the time has come
I'm sorry for everything that ever went wrong
An you know I'll always love you
Because your my mum...
I know I've went off the handle at my mum for a long time but as people we should forgive, not forget
Lyle Rose Nov 17
Burnt out...
I've lost count...
So burnt out...

For so long I've put that pen to page
I never did this to get paid
I mean after all I'm still on minimum wage
"From my window", "scribbles" and shakes
I try to keep myself right, to my kids I pray
That they're future won't be the same... as mine, morally strong but mentally afraid
Fake faces produce hate in my soul
Have we been here before, I feel so old
Out stayed my welcome, rich from the songs I never sold
Take back what I saw with that attitude just wished I'd done more
Maybe I could've been the son you wished for
Want to cry, need to vent, I just want to recall what I said
I will always love you mum but I know what's done is done
I know things could've have been better, should've started before I'd begun
Laying the bricks on this road I run... paused for a second to look how far I've come... turns out this road has turned to crumbs, my body goes numb just slump into **** in the corner of this slum and see how I've succumb to what I've become...
And just so you know! Without you I still feel alone...
Throw a stone in the ocean into an unknown zone with no complicated commotion
Disturb the family devotion, hit the curb, tried to pretend like didn't feel the hurt...

And now I'm all burnt out...

When the tears try drying, endless nights of crying
Lying alone without ******* pillow to bury my grief
Been afraid for so long try to believe it was hard for me
So keep my arm around your neck cos I could go far,  if you'll only see...

"Uh I just don't know anymore"...

Support a family who were left in the dark
Shadows swallow us, these youngers follow us
When feels like you've had enough, knowing you can't give up...
Because no way in **** am I backing down
Sitting down to brain storm and write it out
I know without a doubt I'm the Simon Cowell of writing fowl
"Play it loud" standing proud just to shout it out
Hatred floods the mind but right now there's been a drought
But how's many times have it said that now
All the ******* I spout, I've lost track now and can hardly keep count
I guess I'm almost done, I guess I'm almost out...
of touch my myself,  I'm always in doubt
As the streets lights fade its got me feeling like a burnout
My vocabularies limited, I'm crashing and it's imminent, wanna carry on but just don't know right now...
Lyle Rose Nov 11
Ah about time I was honest with you...
Two years I've been at this...
Would've never guessed it would come this far...
But I've always given my opinion on my... situation...
Let me ask ya'll a question...

The ******* gonna do when they don't get you.
The ******* gonna do when they all act confused
The ******* gonna do when you can't see it through
I'll give you a clue, it starts with you!

How can you say that you used me, shame it was motive that fueled me
A traveler disrespected on his odyssey
A writer dissed on his autobiography
A rapper who don't need no prodigy
Oh and a sucker who doesn't have your respect, **** me?!
Just know I ain't taking **** from someone who was home schooled and still got bullied!
Now need think about this, it's kinda formidable
Head banging round these walls, I'm kinda predictable
Until I find a break through, I'm unfixable
These walls may hurt so find me a brother that don't act like a victim
Guess you that could place these syllables on one sick and indistinguishable individual...
Oops! I could've fool me, now through the gates of my Kingdom
You coming running, but I stood there, impenetrable
Take the shades off, about now super abilities would be useful
Shame that your wisdom leaves me pretty indefeasible
But just vanished, turned too ash or just invisible
Either way you left me open to suggestion so...

The ******* gonna do when they don't get you.
The ******* gonna do when they all act abused
The ******* gonna do when they can't tell the truth
I'll give you a clue, it starts with you!

Now I'm released, only open fields await
Its no where near those Kingdom gates
But when all seems good, so close too great
You gave me a task that couldn't wait
And suddenly I'm expected to accept the unexpected is a bargin I didn't make, feel like I fought a war and lost
If you can't be a parent, you know do you ******* job
A ******* disgrace this thief wants to start another war
I'm just little kid with dose of mummy issues
"quick pass him the tissues!"
Maybe instead of my money you can steal my childhood
Oh ****! I take it back I didn't mean that literally
Too late, what a shame, at least had no responsibility with bigamy
Go on and do it but Ill keep my dignity
Additionally I thought you cared, when vacancies varied a various variety of people see fit to steal from me... no seriously
Never could see, that how could it be that I was the one you chose to betray
Uh now it looks like nothing goes my way "hahaha like ever"...
But originally I was supposedly a considerably miserable weak willed little ***** with a side of juvenile delinquency
We need to see how we can be to switch the inadequate of our compatibility
And maybe it would change anything but most likely I'd change nothing, naturally...

...but we'll see

The ******* gonna do when they don't get you.
The ******* gonna do when they all act confused
The ******* gonna do when you can't see it through
I'll give you a clue, it starts with you!
Lyle Rose Oct 30
Ah its been a while...
Now let's do this...

Oh guess whose back, so just smile, grin and bare it
Downed a side of Jack stepped up to the mic and just killed it
Now whos the kid on the block who writes these maginficant lyrics
I could be some clown rapping about his shoes and I'd wear it
That's just who I am and why I was placed in this position it's scary
We've all just done some nasty **** and only the few have a spirit then use it to create a vision
Now I'm not playing but what they **** I did I do, I guess that's what happens when two uncreative ***** cause a collision
Can't help it that I smoke a little green and now suddenly mommy wants tell the youth I'm swallowed by herion
Feels like I've lost the plot would tell you to look to the sky but now I can't even find it
When I look at these people and seeing my  situation, just a shame I'm staring at the mirror
But away I'm just talking crazy it's not like either of you raised me
I pretty much doubt that you any idea about hard I worked to get here
Im not trying to brag but thanks to you guys I'm a modern day Shakespeare
And on one fateful day you decided to make that decision
Kicked my out on to the streets and you expect me to maintain my innocence
Used me against myself and make my feel like the menace
Oh looks like you've had a couple kids
Mum and dad don't give me that look, it's your job, you're my parents,
Too bad looks I've ****** up a lot a things and that's including your marriage

And do you know why...

It's because I'm the gutter boy (gutter boy!)
Couldn't give up cos I'm going further boy (gutter boy!)
Coming from a place like no other, boy
Turn up the heat no need to shiver boy
No Ice just a chain no need to shimmer boy
Now turn up this beat cos I'm a gutter boy (gutter boy!)

And you know what's funny...

Just take what I say with a grain of salt cos I no politician
But what I say comes from the heart so perk your ears up and listen
I'm not of those city boys I come from a place full of grey skies and an unholy division
A man of ***, straight from the heart to mouth yet how can I call myself a christian, just barely
But I won't shed a tear or get offended just because I'm treated unfairly
Posting **** on Twitter just cos life ***** is just unnecessary
Take one for the team and take one to the chin because everyone has a past that people is just ordinary
I've dealt with your **** for long enough, it's time to close the book on this odyssey
Im'ma try to enjoy what's left of my life cos our time on this earth is only temporary
That's why I write the way I should, say what I say and why I do what I do it's just immaturity
You see Im'ma a poet to some, to others I'm getting by barely
But everybody knows I've never been afraid to say what's on my mind I can talk about anything
I sense a great war coming or maybe I'm already living off food stamps
Gear myself up to destroy these enemy camps
I'm the Oliver Francis Ferdinand cos these kids in America feel like they need a revamp
Oh dissing these ice rapping ******* so sourly
I'm the gutter boy begging for bread and just working it hourly
You think I care what you say, I do this my way, I'm not the one to be rapping so cowardly
Cos if you think I do this for the money, well you can kiss my profanity
Because if I do this for anyone, Im'ma do it with all that I have and this one's for what's left of my family....
Lyle Rose Oct 30
The start of my second studio album
Lyle Rose Oct 5
Now I've faded so far I'm already gone...
I've faded so fast I'm just a shadow to those I've forgotten...
I'm so far gone feels like I'm sinking...
How can they see, how can know what I'm thinking...

Lost, feeling it until late tomorrow
Feet swallowed by this sorrow
Just like the truth it's hard to swallow
With these demons in brain
You know I can't complain just know I'm going insane, you know I'm with it, I'd wait a whole year or maybe its just 10 minutes so lost keeping up with your feelings, the parchment of hate I'm not granted, I just want real love, admitting it's not enough, though I question it and say **** these feelings, I think I'm running a race and ain't winning, I'm insane, mental deranged and I love it but I can't complain, life might be a mistake but at least it's far from fake and at the end of day everyone's the same, Air Jordans stained with heather, this girl must Satan if she thinks I'm the devil, turn the heat up might give me something to marvel at, now take a step back and give me some space, first and last thing I wants you in my face....

Now I've faded so far I'm already gone...
I've faded so fast I'm just a shadow to those I've forgotten...
I'm so far gone feels like I'm sinking...
How can they see, how can know what I'm thinking...

Took my first steps at age four, already running from my family, running from the law, thoughts already lost and that was before, before I knew where to look, my hands keep shaking, my reputations so shook, why do I keep fighting when I know it's forward I should look, yet still I retreat back, back into the pages of my books, a fictitious liar sinking farther then they can see, every task I've undertook, misunderstood, lost the will get out of bed, lost the will to even wish that I could, so I just lay here, swallow my lies with a side THC, when closed eyes picture my death to foresee, gone with the wind but I'm caught in the trees, holding me backs easy, my head keeps pounding, the noose and me forever...  and possibly... maybe in time... maybe they'll see...

Now I've faded so far I'm already gone...
I've faded so fast I'm just a shadow to those I've forgotten...
I'm so far gone feels like I'm sinking...
How can they see, how can know what I'm thinking, thinking...
How could they know...
Finally finished my first LP, thanks to everyone who showed they're support and to those just enjoy reading my work, it really does mean a lot to me...
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