Honestly I didn't know how
so many things could fit inside of me,
how so much sadness could be in my heart
how much rage and frustration could welt my soul
but I knew that they were wrong
and that not many could ever understand.
I talk about you,
I let balloons go
I write to you
I send letters into space,
I speak to the sky
Knowing you'll get it.
you always did. They say grief is just love with no place to go.. her name is sarah and beautiful souls are never forgotten.
The last time I was on this train it was a one way back to the city we hated the most, you were off fighting your demons and I was was here trying to forget.
You were everywhere I looked,
even on a bus ride into a town I knew you hadn't touched still made me feel closer because it was the shortest distance we had been in months.
I often wonder if the you are lingering somewhere inside a body you no longer belong to.
If getting on a plane to somewhere far and unknown was a way of escaping for you, I can understand that more now than I did when I was 18 . maybe you just figured it out before I did
I tried to recall your face again.
I haven't tried in such a long time,
I remember the frame being as familiar as the back of my hand,
the white of your eyes being too white, eyes like a sunset
how your smile took up your whole face
the faint sound of your laugh,
I always come up lost within your floating matter
which quiet frankly just doesn't matter anymore.
(at least it shouldn't)
I still haven't forgotten how close we were to the edge,
We could have taken one step
and almost found each other curled up beside one another in the morning. What you're thinking is right, "almost".
There will be a day when I forget because "almost"
is too small of a word for me to hold on to.
I realized that this town and this state
is as hollow as the people who run it
and i am finally understanding
why it was so easy to leave
e v e r y t h i n g
and never look back
You're like the ocean, I can never get tired of looking in your direction
and I've never seen brown eyes look so blue.
No matter how rough the waves got,
The noise the water made when hitting the surface
never bothered me,
I can only smile at how beautiful it was when the sun hit the shore.
" I hope you are happy too, you deserve it more than anyone i know."
That one sentence brought all my memories with you back
and how you, only you
could make my stomach tie in knots a thousand times over again.
and i used to think that 5 years from now,
we would have still been together,
that i would wake up to your messy bed head at 8 a.m.
and that my apartment would be filled with pictures of us
that breakfast at 2 a.m might be the normal for us
and like my sister said funny sad
movies about love on lazy saturday nights
would still be our "thing"
but after all, we are strangers now, aren't we?
and it is not your hand i hold anymore
and my apartment is filled with pictures
of memories made with someone much more worthy
much more amazing
but much less willing to love me back.
you run across my mind
at the worse possible times,
when my lips are on his,
you make my heart ache.
And i cannot stomach to say i do not love you because i do, i do, i do.
I don't remember
how your lips taste,
I don't remember
how your hand felt in mine anymore
I hardly remember the sound of your voice
but i remember the way your smile lit up the room
how your laugh was the best sound i ever heard
how it flowed so perfectly
i remember the way you hugged me
the way time seemed to stop
how i felt when you said you missed me
and to be honest,
even if you forgot me,
I don't think i could ever completely forget you.
It was a safe zone
standing so far
staying away from
when it seemed it was just
an attractive face
who seemed so
someone who was cold
and would never understand me
and it was much easier
thinking you were this awful person
than finding out you weren't.
I wish they were still that awful person to me.
I hate how you can get up
Leave so easily
Act as if it doesn't hurt you
As if you feel nothing
And me I am foolish here,
Talking about you at 4 a.m.
To someone who could never even grasp the things,
The love that i feel for you and how could they,
They have not kissed your lips
Or felt your touch
They have not heard the laughter that escapes
And I can’t help but want to hate you,
It would be so much easier to hate you
But my heart, it calls for you no matter how much,
How many times I try to move on,
You are no longer here
You shut me off
Letting me know I was no longer welcomed in your heart
but that I am implanted there in the seams of your heart
And your thoughts they scare you,
After all that’s what you told me.
sad feelings are too overwhelming.
As if you ever stopped to wonder about the hurt you put me through
as if i meant nothing the way you look me over
as if the world dint stop turning when i heard you were going
as if i am a child and you with your facts
and real "outlook " on life is the only thing you see
as if my belief that happiness could be ours is such a silly idea
Misplaced hope You said.
why have you left me before you have even been shipped off
and i refuse to believe the **** you give me about not being able to
"commit yourself" to the navy and me at the same time
i was doing fine, you came back to me, this isn't fair
it is almost 2 a.m. and your words are running through my head
The world is not a fantasy gen, we cant just run away and hope for the best
when people come back, they aren't supposed to go away again
out of the blue, disappearing,
to avoid a stupid wall they have put up from breaking down
just because the feel they care about someone too much
i almost had you .you almost gave in.
you told me you wanted me
and that you would love me till the day the sun goes out,
I feel broken in the most horrible way.
The leaves are starting to fall
so am I
with the blossoming of dying trees
I am starting to die.
Someday, I’ll look up at you and try my hardest to not lose myself in your eyes. I will tell you what your favorite book is, how your favorite line goes and why you feel so sad and alone at night. I will be your superhero and we could run away somewhere far away like you always wanted to. I would tell you everything you don’t like about yourself and I would give you every reason why I love them. You would shake your head and deny it but I would kiss you instantly and you would be taken by surprise and in that moment of confusion, I’ll tell you everything I denied myself for so long and I would tell you about your laugh, how it kept me going, I will tell you how that sleepless night with you, made me feel at home and I would hold your hand and tell you how happy I am to have you in my life, How lonely you and amazing you made me feel, I would tell you how you had me from the start and you will look me in the eyes before looking away and I will lift your chin up and tell you that I love you more than I've ever loved a soul and you will be lost for words and you will utter my name but I won’t listen. I will kiss you, for once not be a coward, tell you how you deserve better than everything going on and how you have made me realize, you’re everything I need and Someday, I will tell you how I wish you loved me more than anything.
Someday far from now I will look at the stars
I will think of my past
And somewhere along those memories
You will cross my mind
I will laugh remembering how you gave me butterflies
And I just hope wherever life takes you it is beautiful
Where you will learn to love life for more than something broken
I will hope all your pain has subsided
And someday you might look at the stars in some beautiful place
Thinking of all your memories
And I hope the girl who wrote poems crosses your mind.
Even if we left and all we have were the stars overhead
I’d hold on tightly
I wouldn't let your hand go
I’d wander down that road with you
I’d sit in the field with you and get lost in your eyes and laughter
And I’d love you the way you would love me
I'd love you until the day that the sun dies too
Truth be told
I’d love you always
Always would be a promise
And I could live right there, right beside you
If separated by distance and time
I wouldn't let go
You could kiss me
Because one thought, one look at you
And my heart falls into my stomach like a trap door
Don’t let the breeze grow between us before you leave
Don’t turn and not look back
Because even if we left with nothing but the stars overhead
I’d be yours
And I swear, I wouldn't let go.
[he din't look back}
You don’t notice my words
The feelings or truth in them
You don’t appreciate the time
To write and capture
You don’t read
You don’t see how it hurts
Crushes my insides
You don’t know
How much my words mean
You don’t give it the time of day it deserves
And when you notice,
It'll be too late.
— The End —