I, parasite
Eating selves
For a while
For a night
Feeling low
Getting high
Gluttonous, contrite

I once read that
The stars cannot shine
Without darkness,
Maybe I can shine
Even with the darkness within.

******* may love it,
but I'd rather not know when
I'm being ignored.

Allow me to run my hands
over your muscles again
trace the outline of
the beautiful landscape.
Travel them with ****** eyes
like the first night
we held each other close
on my mothers cream couch.
I want you the same way.
Even though times are changing
and I am confident
that I am strong solo.
I am whole
when I'm with you.

You crawled up within my skin
took a taste of my anxiety and welcomed yourself in
wove my fears together and built yourself a home
upon the road of my aching bones
you travel endlessly
and all these indoor bruises that they can not see
I can never stop feeling
Unable to keep you away
I buried my secrets six feet deep
but every day you bring them flowers
everyday you sing to them
and now I am the stranger
wandering hopelessly around your new home
every day I knock,
but no one's ever home

feeling tired and uninspired
i find myself being more in love
with characters from books
than i ever was with you.

And yet again, I care too much.
It burdens my shoulders
and suffocates me everyday.
Thoughts of everyone, everything,
efforts to remember,
it has consumed me
as would a storm.
To think that they-even you,
never wanted me,
it was always her.
Compare us
and I will always come up short.
And? I shouldn't even care.
It is dangerously shallow water to swim in;
but I cannot yet let it go:
I wish terribly to be
just one person's first choice.

How strange it is of life
to love with no love in turn
How strange it is of life
that a cold shoulder can burn
How strange it is of life
that you bring a tear to my eye
How strange it is of life
that you let me pass you by