finally i have found what i have lost some three plus years back that indestructible bold unpolished teenage spirit that experienced knew things every single day unknowingly challenging the envelope, and it never broke, but molded and bended to all the magic my mind could conjure up. i stood on the cuff of my future and leaped forward not seeing the staircase but through faith and i flew. i made the mistake of coming down because i missed the misinterpreted notion of belonging to a pride. see when an eagle is raised by ground based eagles who believe themselves to be chickens its difficult to comprehend the new found freedom of the sky it is over whelming and i gave it up, unknowingly.
ever since, i could feel the gnawing emptiness in my soul. the wild wanting to fly and never feel the  conforms of society again. i have been busy with chicken for too long. selling my gracefulness on the cheap.

So many dreams of you at night,
so many words that which I could write.

I've loved you once, I've loved you twice.
Love was the feeling, but my actions never right.

I went about things in all of the wrong ways.
My behavior punished you, each and every day.

I’d like to apologize to you, if I may.
I know you’ll never listen, much to my dismay.

Your life will continue and in love with you I’ll stay,
regretting my decisions as I watch you walk away.

I can fasten on a smile and live my life in vain;
though, no matter what I do, in love I still remain.
*kd

He goes to office.
He reaches in time.
He does his work.
His boss doesn't
complain about him much.

He earns enough to pay
His bills,
His mother's  doctor.
His father doesn't
complain about him much.

He comes from office, late every night.
He cooks for himself, none else takes a bite.
He has delayed repairs to his obsolete bike.
He has complaints about his boss, father, mother.
No one truly cares about him much.

she hides behind a layer of skin
covers her like a mask
doesn't want to let any one in
things can't go to fast
she was the girl who often sinned
just another outcast
hiding behind that layer of skin
that covered her like a mask

a shadow of a man, i am
to walk this earth thinking i am worth something
to think my soul has any value
when it has been proven that i am nothing but floating particles

what a cynic, i am
to believe i know the value of something
to put an investment in something so intimate
when it has been proven that i only knew the asking price

a blind man, i am
to see things the way they are
and not the way they ought to be

i pray for the quietest death
as i don't want to disturb others
a silence to the groans that come from my deep within
and a sigh as i release my final note

i wish for the quietest death
a euthanized extinction
my throat is raw from the mightiest of roars
my claws; dull at the tips

your love still rings in my ears
a torment I can never cease
i lay still, night after night
begging the invisible heavens, please;

somebody slip me the quietest death
nobody needs to know
i'd do anything to see you one last time
and kiss your lips before i go

i will lay still.
i will not make a sound.
i will be subdued.

i would die to never see you again.